Stage an Intervention

I like to make lists. Last night, during one of my many pithy discussions with Deeps (Him: What's for dinner? Are you going to empty the dishwasher? - Me: Uhm. Internet? No - I'm never going to empty the freakin' dishwasher.) we talked about things that make us feel older. You know, the behaviors and mannerisms of your parents that you have mercilessly mocked over the years. And now you realize you're starting to embody?

Below is a list of things that aren't necessarily inspired by any one person I know - it's just stuff I worry about. If you notice me demonstrating any of this behavior - please stage an intervention.

1. Waddling for a prolonged period of time.
2. Carrying around a personal fan and "cooling" myself on bus, train, car or sidewalk.
3. Carrying salad dressing in my purse to use in restaurants.
4. Really short hair that has been permed within an inch of its life.
5. Shopping on a regular basis at places like "The Walking Store" or "The Walking Spirit."

Labels: 2003