Wednesday, May 07, 2003

Why I can't be President (of a fictional America on a television show called 24)...

I was watching 24 the other night. Or rather, Deeps was watching 24 and I was like... kinda watching for like 10 minutes. He is a fan, I don't really watch it.

Regardless, the President has been set-up and essentially a peaceful coup has erupted pitting the President against the VP in a struggle for control of the country. The President has lost and the VP is in charge. Meanwhile, the hot CTU guy finds out that the President's ex-wife may be part of the big conspiracy to cause trouble.

The following exchanges is an acutal exchange that took place in the first 10 minutes of 24.

Me: He is not handing over that keycard is he? He's the president!
Deeps: ... huh? He has to.
Me: I would eat it. That would have been the first thing I'd do if I was the president and the coup d'etat'd me like that.
Deeps: You'd eat the launch codes?
Me: Yep, they don't need the bomb.

Minutes pass - the first lady is acting crazy and making threats.
Me: Why doesn't he just shoot her?
Deeps: ...
Me: She's just crazy. Shoot her in the leg or something.
Deeps: Wait. Let me get this straight, if you were the President on 24 you'd eat the launch codes and have the First Lady shot in the leg because she's acting crazy.
Me: Yes.
Deeps: That's why you'll never be President.
Me: Pretty much... I gotta go now. I hear the chip in my butt starting to beep.


Sunday, May 04, 2003

Time keeps on ticking

I was just minding my own business - reading some Yahoo headlines - when I clicked on a story about the X2 opening weekend.

Then my world changed... (dramatic music rises) forever.

According to the head of Fox distribution - and more specifically his quote in paragraph ten of the story - I am an older American.

Who knew?

I sure as hell didn't.

I'm forced to rise to defend myself again. I am not old. I'm just older.

Now that's a weird term because I use it to describe my parents who are in their 50s. I don't use it to describe myself. I like to think of myself as - well, as recently out of college. Well, not too recently but recently enough that I had Internet access in my dorm.


I'm getting older. I hardly knew ye - late 20s. Now is the burgeoning spring of my middle age. Yes. I said it. I have to buy acne cream and wrinkle cream at the same time.

It's a good time to be alive.

And the movie?

It was okay. Enjoyable.

And while I might be aging, I am aging somewhat gracefully. I cannot say the same for Famke Janssen. I think she needs to moisturize more. I was staring at her on the screen and she is starring opposite of the very short and very young James Marsden. She looks like she's going to pick him up, throw him in the back of her mini-van and drop him off at soccer camp.

That's not to say that she looks old. She just looks very much like a lovely woman in her late 30s - which is what she is. Marsden looks like this summer he's going to sleep-away camp for the first time. (Seriously, according to IMDB he has been credited as "Jimmy" on some occasions.)

On the bright side, they don't do much in this movie so it isn't too distracting. Hugh Jackman has very long legs. Compared to everyone else - Halle Berry seems very, very small.

Otherwise, it's a good popcorn flick. Lots of stuff gets "blowed up" and the Boehm body count requirement for a summer action flick seems to get met. Don't ask too many questions and just enjoy yourself.