Dori

So I went home a few weeks ago. It was very exciting. But this little tale really illustrates how different I am from the rest of the family - I'm clearly delusional.

My flight was scheduled to leave around noon on Monday. I awoke early on Monday morning to the wake-up call that is my father pounding on the guest room door.

"Wake up! You need to call Red and Cuddles." (I'm changing the names to protect the guilty - you know who you are Cuddles.)

I will now share with you my actual reaction to this information.
Hmm.. I wonder what they want? They must want to say goodbye before I leave. Oh and I bet they used the fantastic Fekkai hair products I gave them for their (respective) birthdays. I bet they loved it.

I am delusional.

First I call Red. She says there's a crisis and Cuddles needs assistance - can I help? I call Cuddles. She asks me to send some things she forgot her haste to go (let's be honest here - flee) back home with children (screaming) and husband (also screaming) in tow the day before.

I say I'll do what I can and find a huge pile things on the kitchen counter that belong to Cuddles - or more appropriately Peanut, daughter of Cuddles.

I call Cuddles back.

"Uhm, what should I send?"

"I need the blanket and I need the Dori and my prescription and that jacket. Peanut won't sleep without the blanket and she's screaming for Dori."

"You are very lucky that I know what a Dori is." (I later learned that many of my childless friends did not.) "What do you want me to do with it?" I ask praying she won't suggest I figure out a way to do a handoff in Chicago during my brief layover between Indianapolis and Boston.

"Do you know how to Fedex?"

"Yes, I work in an office and I even went to college."

No mention of the carefully selected and delightful hair care products. Nope - she just needs the Dori.

I pile a bunch of stuff into a grocery bag and head to the Fedex station at the Post Office. I shove a blue fish, some prescription bottles, a jacket, a blanket and a DVD of the Blue Collar Tour (a gift from our sister Bangles - she's thoughtful like that) in two large envelopes. Grandmothers stare at me in confusion and offer advice about where I can find a box to ship things.

"No time for a box, Peanut needs her blanie and Dori tonight," I reply and seal the packages.

I am super-Auntie because I know how to Fedex.

Labels: 2004