The incident on the El in the morning time
Last week my friend Bea IM'd me about... well - I've included the transcript below.
She and I worked together for a long time in Chicago - and she's still there. I love a good El (the elevated train that runs through the city) because they are almost always disturbing or hilarious. (Or both)
If you'd like more hilarious, disturbing and entertaining stories about public transportation - please visit The CTA Tattler
, Bad Transit
or do some crazy Google searching. I find at least one site for every city with public trans.
bea (10:26:32 AM): Hello.
AB (10:26:38 AM): hi
bea (10:26:45 AM): Wanna hear my Redline story?
AB (10:26:53 AM): please!
bea (10:27:10 AM): At Howard, I'm waiting for
bea (10:27:16 AM): Two Red Lines on the tracks.
AB (10:27:23 AM): right
bea (10:27:34 AM): Train #1 announces doors
bea (10:27:43 AM): announcement repeated.
bea (10:27:49 AM): i see 30ish guy
bea (10:27:59 AM): standing in car door nearest
AB (10:28:00 AM): uh huh....
bea (10:28:05 AM): eating his egg sandwich
AB (10:28:08 AM): like blocking the door?
bea (10:28:15 AM): eyes are bloodshot
bea (10:28:17 AM): yes
AB (10:28:22 AM): oh god
bea (10:28:29 AM): i decide to bite my tongue
AB (10:28:39 AM): is this man in the hospital
bea (10:28:41 AM): the CTA conductor comes all
the way down
bea (10:28:48 AM): this is the back of the
bea (10:28:56 AM): asks him what's he doin
bea (10:29:00 AM): the guy says:
bea (10:29:10 AM): I'm waiting on my friend to
bea (10:29:10 AM):
bea (10:29:13 AM): !!!!!
bea (10:29:23 AM): so then
AB (10:29:26 AM): jesus mud puddle -
what an ass
bea (10:29:34 AM): i look at another man on the
bea (10:29:50 AM): we both make astounded
bea (10:30:01 AM): This guy is good looking---
bea (10:30:06 AM): Long, brunette hair
bea (10:30:13 AM): nice brown eyes
bea (10:30:15 AM): we chat
AB (10:30:21 AM): the guy you make eye contact
AB (10:30:25 AM): not the drunky
bea (10:30:29 AM): we get on the purple line
bea (10:30:31 AM): Yes
bea (10:30:37 AM): the drunky disappears
bea (10:30:42 AM): somewhere i don't know
bea (10:30:45 AM): i don't care
bea (10:30:50 AM): so my cool guy
bea (10:30:55 AM): and i chat
bea (10:31:03 AM): he's from Romania
bea (10:31:13 AM): and yes he looks like a
bea (10:31:15 AM): and yes
bea (10:31:20 AM): he's a musician
AB (10:31:23 AM): uh oh - is this turning into
a Penthouse forum letter
bea (10:31:27 AM): who plays i think he said
AB (10:31:36 AM): dreamy
bea (10:31:38 AM): (couldn't understand his
bea (10:31:40 AM): yes
bea (10:31:41 AM): and
bea (10:32:01 AM): he gives me his card -
bea (10:32:11 AM): he plays at a bar on lincoln
bea (10:32:15 AM): so anyway
bea (10:32:21 AM): i give him my card
bea (10:32:24 AM): what the hell
bea (10:32:35 AM): (I'm 41 and still as randy
AB (10:32:37 AM): right
AB (10:32:41 AM): heh
bea (10:32:46 AM): and then I get off at
bea (10:33:01 AM): one minute phone call
bea (10:34:00 AM): ok
AB (10:34:15 AM): ok
bea (10:34:21 AM): get excited cuz the red line
car is empty and i can sit down
bea (10:34:23 AM): until
bea (10:34:27 AM): i see why
bea (10:34:30 AM): or smell why
AB (10:34:32 AM): uh oh
bea (10:34:40 AM): a lady is sprawled sideways
AB (10:34:48 AM): NO!
bea (10:34:49 AM): and she's crapped her pants
AB (10:34:55 AM): OH MY GOD NO!
bea (10:34:55 AM): so i guess she's not a lady!
bea (10:35:03 AM): O H F***ING YES!
AB (10:35:04 AM): SHE'S NO LADY
bea (10:35:17 AM): So I immediately leave that
AB (10:35:20 AM): and everyone just left her
there - no one called the conductor?
bea (10:35:23 AM): and go to the next one down
bea (10:35:25 AM): dunno
bea (10:35:35 AM): and get on
AB (10:35:43 AM): this is the greatest story
I've ever heard
bea (10:35:50 AM): (oh and I see [redacted guy we used to work with] who says hi to me_
bea (10:35:58 AM): and on the next car
bea (10:36:01 AM): is my gypsy
bea (10:36:02 AM): again
AB (10:36:07 AM): oh my god
AB (10:36:15 AM): you guys are soul mates now
bea (10:36:16 AM): so i tell him about this new
second improved CTA experience
AB (10:36:34 AM): right
bea (10:36:45 AM): and then he chats about how
he likes to travel
bea (10:36:55 AM): how so many chicagoans never
bea (10:37:02 AM): he loves vegas.
AB (10:37:04 AM): you've got to figure there
have been a few train riding pants crappers in Romania
bea (10:37:06 AM): new york
bea (10:37:16 AM): Yes, methinks so too
AB (10:37:28 AM): then what?
bea (10:37:30 AM): so, anyway he gets off at
Chicago and says hell call me
bea (10:37:43 AM): I tell him maybe I'll see
him perform on a Monday night.
AB (10:37:48 AM): wow
bea (10:37:50 AM): and that is my morning!
bea (10:38:02 AM): i must save this transcript
and write it up
bea (10:38:08 AM): for the red line blog that
AB (10:38:12 AM): this is a story that needs
to shared.... maybe you should send it to the CTA
AB (10:38:14 AM):
bea (10:38:18 AM): exactly
bea (10:38:20 AM): thanks!
AB (10:38:32 AM): I might have to put it on my
site - because it's awesome.... ;-)
AB (10:38:44 AM): drunky, crapper, hot gypsy -
it's like a movie
bea (10:38:44 AM): can you save the log and
send it to me?
AB (10:38:50 AM): sure