Sunday, January 08, 2006

That didn’t take long
I know that some members of my family read my blog. I’ve made my peace with it. With the knowledge I’ve taken the opportunity to poke fun at my family via the Internet because that is the ultimate form of Midwestern passive-aggressive behavior.

I got a short email from my parents a few hours after I posted on Thursday about kicking up my gym time as part of my year of prep for the Baby Project in 2007.

“Do you have something to tell us?” they casually inquired.

Not really. In fact, I’m rather surprised by the reactions I’ve gotten from people when I say that we’re taking this year to prepare and decide it we really want to have kids. “You’re never ready,” and “Nothing can prepare you,” comes up a lot.

I’d agree with that – to an extent – but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t things I can do to be better equipped if we decide to go forward. Like I can take a year to help ensure I’m physically capable of having a healthy pregnancy. And we can get our finances in order after going broke buying our new house. Plus we can have all those fun discussions about what we thinking raising kids would mean for us as old married people. Do we have similar ideas? Do the kids go to public or private school? What about religion?

People don’t talk about important stuff like this before they get married – I know of people who never discussed money or how they’d manage their finances before they moved forward with the big plunge. We talked about this a lot before we tied the knot. But it is always good to revisit.

There are a lot of unknowns when it comes to having kids. But there are also a lot of things you do have to be ready for: your health, the kid’s health, child care, money. If we can get a handle on some of the things we can control – then we are better equipped to deal with the vast unknown of possible parentdom.

We might not be ready – but we hope we’ll be prepared.


Blogger Cityslicker Mom said...

You're right, you will never be "ready". Okay, to some extent you can be,but mostly everything about the way you think things should be usually just goes out the window.

12:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get used to to all the advice, speaking from personal experience. Some people don't want to believe that you can actually try to "plan" important -- life changing -- events in your life. Keep at it and good luck.

8:24 AM  
Blogger Beezil the 1st said...

I've always considered myself somewhat lucky; I've never fallen into the "when are you going to have children" trap, even when I was married at one point. Most people just left us alone, and now it's just me, and they leave me alone. I don't even get "when are you getting MARRIED and having children!" Hopefully it's not because the thought of me being a parent is horrific to those who know me!

9:54 AM  
Blogger Alison Rose said...

I agree you can plan for pregnancy somewhat, especially when it comes to your health. If you haven't done it already, go to the doc's and have a pre-pregnancy checkup. My doctor made sure I still had immunity to german measles (I did), put me on prenatal vitamins, to make sure I was getting all my folic acid, etc. The whole thing was a pretty easy way to set my mind at ease--at least about some of the things I could control.

The part you can't control--that's called "parenthood." :-)

Good luck!!

10:23 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

A-BLOODY-MEN, my friend. Before I got myself all knocked up, we had hours upon hours of talks vis-a-vis kids and what we plan to do with them etc etc etc AD NAUSEAM.

No, you're never ready. Hell, I wanted to postpone the pregnancy until after the holidays, but OH NO, guess who got to be sober during the most drinkin'est time of the year? THAT SUCKED.

Now that I'm all "with child" my child-free friends keep asking me how we reached the decision to get this way. WE DON'T KNOW. It just went from seeming like a REALLY BAD IDEA to being something that might be interesting to being a GOOD IDEA. But don't ask me the process. We were probably drunk.

ANYWAY, I personally feel you should get pregnant as soon as possible so I have a buddy to go through all of this with, but if you won't do that for me, then I understand.

Either way, good luck and remember the whole process should be fun or you shouldn't be doing it. Heh.

6:35 PM  

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