Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Ten and Two, baby!

Last night we had a fine dusting of snow during our drive home from work. As we slowly made our way up Massachusetts Avenue I felt like we were in some kind of heinous video game.

I was the spotter and Deeps, per usual, was the driver.

The spotter helps you, the driver, understand what terrors await you and who will try to crash into you.

A spotter might say something like:
Watch out for that cop, he’s going to walk right in front of us.
I don’t think the lady in the mini van sees us.
I’m not sure what this guy is doing? Oh he’s on the phone.
That dude may try to ram us.
Why do people insist on jaywalking with their babies in a stroller? Do they not love their children?
Oh God!
We’re going to die!
What is wrong with people.

Sometimes the spotter falls down on the job. Now in other circumstances and towns the spotter would be a backseat driver. But we drive as a team and whenever I’m not spotting I hear about it.

Why didn’t you tell me about that cop? It’s really dark out.
Did you see that dude who tried to ram us?

Yeah, so it goes both ways. Since I’m often most-likely to die from the ramming or car crash, I figure I’ll just keep spotting and apologize later.

This kind of defensive driving is necessary and important. Now, add in a mysterious element like snow and the drive can be a little treacherous. Sure, there was a dusting of snow, but it was a enough to be a little be slippery.

Me: This added element of danger makes the drive home more exciting.
Deeps: Hmm.
Me: And by exciting I mean, why are these people so stupid?
Deeps: I don’t think they are intentionally stupid. They’re distracted.
Me: Right. It’s a hard day. You get into a vehicle that weighs, roughly, 2000 pounds and decide this is a good time to talk to your friend and do your taxes.
Deeps: People are busy.
Me: Yeah.
Deeps: Besides, these people are just getting their stupid on.
Me: What?
Deeps: See, they forgot what winter is like so today is the first day that they can get their winter stupid on.

I started to laugh, but found a gasp instead as a guy ran a light and nearly sideswiped us.

Deeps: Classic winter stupid, that's what you have there.

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Anonymous David said...

Hey you. Nice bloggie blog! I'm out in Boston every now and then for work—so we'll have to try to get together.

9:33 PM  
Anonymous jen said...

you do realize how hilarious the two of you are.

of course you do. but it's the kind of hilarious one wants to have a beer with. that sort of hilariousness.

4:34 PM  

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