Adventures in Marriage #1871

We get a lot of junk mail and credit card solicitations. So I sort through them and shred sensitive stuff and recycle everything else.

Early this week I had collected a rather impressive pile of stuff to shred. In a matter of minutes I'd done something very wrong.

Shredder: GRRR!
Me: Uh oh.
Deeps: What did you do?
Me: I'm just shredding!
Deeps: You can't put a whole piece of mail through there - you have to open stuff up!
Me: I thought it could handle it.
Shredder: Choke! Sputter!
Me: Aw frick.
Deeps: We don't have an industrial shredder.
Me: I think I've done it before.
Deeps: That was the last shredder. Which you broke.
Me: Oh.
Deeps: I don't even think we can get a shredder that would work for you. I think you'd need some kind of feral cat.
Me: Feral cats shred stuff and leave a mess. I'd need a goat.
Deeps: A feral goat?
Me: I'll accept any goat. That would be an excellent anniversary present.
Deeps: No.
Me: Yeah! Five years of marriage totally equals one goat.

I bought a non-industrial shredder a few hours later. It joins another new friend that really sucks and rhymes with bison (hat tip to Kristen).

Labels: 2007, consumerism, marriage