Robot Girlfriend

My father-in-law been hounding Deeps for several years about a GPS navigation system. Namely FIL would like to give us one.

We like gadgets - but we like stuff we're likely to use. We're just not likely to use the GPS. New England maps are notoriously unreliable, stuff is forever being re-routed. And our non-digital solution means that every time we get in the car we have an adventure.

I'm not trying to put rose-colored glasses on the situation - it's always an adventure. A nerve-wracking, hair-raising adventure that will one day result in our deaths.

Anyway.

A box arrived in the mail and inside was a GPS navigator for the car - Merry Christmas, love FIL. Despite the stupidity of the gift, we decided to take it for a test run out to suburbs we don't really know very well.

Out of the gate, the GPS told us to take a non-preferred route to interstate 93. Deeps ignored the weird, computery voice. I think the voice started to get mad at us.

It kept demanding that we turn right. Eventually we made our way to the highway and the GPS started to squawk again.

GPS: garbled
Me: What's it saying?
Deeps: Can you turn it up?
Me: It's at max volume.
Deeps: Is it saying Tarpulin?
Me: Is there an exit we should be taking.
Deeps: I don't really understand this thing.

About 10 minutes later we determined that the GPS was mispronouncing "Carpool Lane".

Just as we solved that mystery, we entered some tunnels and then things took a turn.

GPS: You have arrived at your destination.
Me: Uhm - you're wrong.
Deeps: We're in the middle of a tunnel.
Me: I don't see any amazing stores near by.
Deeps: I suppose you could do some holiday shopping here, but you'd probably be disappointed.
Me: Especially when you got run over by a giant truck.

Eventually we left the tunnel and I started pushing buttons to get the GPS to remember the destination we'd programmed.

Deeps: It doesn't seem that bad. It just got a little confused.
Me: You can't replace me with this - I'm the family navigator. I don't get us lost.
Deeps: Except when you miss the turn.
Me: That's because you don't listen.
Deeps: *muttering*
Me: And you don't listen to your Robot Girlfriend either.
Deeps: Whatever.
Me: She won't make you soup when you're sick.
Deeps: This is a very generous but ridiculous gift.
Me: I know.
Deeps: It isn't really very practical for us.
Me: I know.
Deeps: I don't know why they insist on giving us stuff like this.
Me: It is the magic of the holidays.

Labels: 2007, marriage, weird stuff