All right, I said others who were smarter and wiser and more educated than me would surely write smart and reflective things about a ceremony I couldn't be bothered to watch.
I was wrong.
Cintra Wilson wrote a nasty little bitch piece about the Oscars which even one who is a snark-lover such as myself found a bit disturbing. Seriously, dial it back and if you hate the damn thing then just switch over the Food Network or the Cartoon Network like I did.
She is right about one thing -- her assessment of Tom Cruise is dead on. He's the stuff of nightmares, despite whatever Rosie O'Donnell may say.
Good snarkSo Salon isn't totally a bust because
Heather Havrilesky wrote a great piece about the Oscars -- kinda the average Jane's view of the extravaganza. She had much better snark going and plus Heather is very clever and has a very lovely little site called
the rabbit blog.
Pooper warsDana kitty was a cat that I kinda inherited from my roommates in college. We all agreed to get a cat, but I didn't think I'd end up with her after graduation. A few days after graduation my other roommates moved out and I realized that Dana was still in the house.
She was like, "What the hell are you still doing here?"
"What the hell are you still doing here?" I asked.
"You know...hanging," she replied in our mythical conversation.
"Dammit. I'm going to have to take you with me." So I packed her in the car with my other crap and moved across town to a horrible apartment on the corner of Crack Avenue.
And that imaginary exchange sums up most of my relationship with Dana Kitty - or Pooper, as she's known around the homestead. Anyway, I thought of this today because I bothered to re-visit
My Cat Hates You.
It's weird.
The Eyes Have itI've got a floater. Nope, not a floating kneecap, but a floater on "the jelly part of your eye that helps to keep the shape of the eye" as my optometrist said. I was just relieved to hear that I wasn't going blind. Apparently this is a totally normal thing that everyone has I'm just overly aware of it because it's in my right eye and I'm right eye dominant. Weird huh? I'm right eyed!
She also encouraged me to dump my beloved Daily Wear contact lenses and switch to disposable. She basically shamed me into it -- she said I was practically the last person in North America not using disposable lenses.
God, I'm such an early adopter of technology -- it's like she just found out I'm using a Wang or something. Anyway, I'm getting on horribly with the disposables. No wonder people want to throw them away! I swear that one of them has ruined my left eye. You know I use that eye.
I go back next week to see "how I'm doing" and to find out what the hell I've done to my eyeball.
Labels: 2002, movies
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at Wednesday, March 27, 2002 | | 
First, I might be going a little blinder. This might be alarming for people who don't know me and assume that I have 20/20 vision. That's what you get for assuming! I'm just about bat-like without glasses or contacts.
But I've developed this annoying little spot on my eye. At first I thought I had a micro spec of dust on my contact lens, but when the itty bitty spec showed up on my right eye while I wasn't wearing my contacts. I flushed out the eye, put in some drops and nothing has worked. Now little tiny spec is driving me slowly crazy. So I'm off to the doctor today.
It's like this weird little tiny blind spot. The best way I can describe it -- you know how kinda crappy laptop monitors are all pixels and how sometimes one single pixel goes out? That's what it looks like to me. Weird. Anyway, I'm calling the doc today to find out what the damage is.
Hopefully I'm not going all blind again like I did when I had the worst case of conjunctivitis ever!
And the other thing...I'm in love with two new TV shows. The Osbournes over on the MTV is excellent. Seriously, TWOP said it best when they wrote Ozzy is both 7 and 87 at the same time. HI-larious. It's on Tuesdays at 10:30/9:30CT. I'm also intrigued by Andy Richter Controls the Universe. I've only seen one episode, so the jury is still a bit out -- but I like what I've seen. Andy's on over on The Fox at 8:30/7:30 CT.
Good TV is hard to find, hence I'm bummed about my blown eye pixel or whatever this thing is.
And Now for the WinterI knew it was too good to be true.
Now I'm looking at a steady falling of snow. We're almost a full week into spring and all we've gotten for it -- frigid temps and falling snow. Yaay!
If only my landlord would be a bit more generous with the heat.
The Big OLots and lots and lots has been and will be written about the Oscars by people who are smarter and have more cred than me. Let me just say, a couple of things. Yaay Denzel. Boo everything else, except that neat little number by the Cirque.
Maybe everything else wasn't bad. I only watched about 15 minutes. But seriously, do the Oscars need to be 5 hours long?
The Fu FluThere's this like cold/flu thing going around my office and it's been spreading like wildfire. I call it the Fu Flu because it's so bad it's like some kind of mystical kung fu flu. Even the mighty who are like "I never get sick" are falling. I have not yet become a victim despite Deeps coming back from NY with it. And everyone around me has had it, but I've been enjoying this weird peppery tasting Tang thing called Airborne. So far I have weird breath but no Fu Flu. Beware the Fu Flu and be sure to drink your OJ.
Thaw-tasticOnce I thaw a bit later this week I'll be posting some exciting news about a celebrity encounter and my new crappy digital camera. Who knows -- there may be photos.
Labels: 2002, health
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at Tuesday, March 26, 2002 | |
Today was one of those Spring days in Chicago that gives you a taste of the future -- a taste of the warmth and sunshine to come. Just, not right now. I think these days happen so that in February and March you don't just stick your head in your oven.
So I've enjoyed my little taste of Spring while I'm ever mindful that it will go away any second. Seriously, that' s how it is around here. One day, 61 degrees -- the next it's freezing rain and sleet and damaging gale-force winds.
Roger who?And what does this all have to do with Roger Ebert? Nothing. I'm done worrying about him. I still hate that Roeper guy.
Ugh.
What has he ever done to me? Nothing personally but he's smarmy, stupid and vile and takes every chance he can to plug that nauseating film "Notting Hill" as a fine and smart romantic comedy. It was dreadful and it's the only film that I can recall ever heckling openly with my parents. My parents -- that's really saying something if they don't like a big-budget star vehicle for Julia Roberts.
Sheesh.
Labels: 2002, movies, weather
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at Wednesday, March 13, 2002 | |
I'm worried about celebrities.
See, I've figured out things in my own life and now I've found time to clean my apartment (sometimes), organize old photos (okay, I bought a nice box to shove them all in) and worry about the problems of famous people.
It's a special case -- I don't know if this guy knows he has a problem yet. I worry about Jon Stewart.
We all love him. Deeps and I have the unspoken agreement that The Daily Show is appointment television (M-Th) whenever possible or there's a new episode. I like Jon Stewart's snarky little glances, his oddly tall hair and his hilarious deliveries. He's the best thing to happen to Comedy Central and certainly the best host the Daily Show could ever hope to have. And finally he's come into his own and receiving the accolades and attention he deserves.
Plus, with the hubbub about Letterman bailing on CBS or ABC eyes are turning to Stewart as a possible replacement for Letterman if he jumps ship. This is why I worry. What success spoil our Jon? I think it might.
What if?Let's play "for instance" -- if Letterman jumps ship for ABC and CBS pulls Stewart into its clutches with promises of fame, money and audience, I would be hard pressed to believe Stewart wouldn't go. But this has happened before! Remember MTV. The Jon Stewart show was hip and cool and totally hilarious. Then it got transported to "proper" Network TV and died a horrible death. All irony, edge and wit were displaced and the show suffered until finally put down a scant few weeks later.
What if the same thing happens? Comedy Central won't take you back, The Daily Show is already suffering under the un-funny weight of the likes of Matt Walsh and worse, Lauren Wederman. And there's some new chick with horrible lipstick. They're so bad I long for the days of Mo Rocca. The 2 Stephens/Stevens are making only weekly appearances if we're lucky, since they've both found more lucrative and rewarding work outside the gray halls of Comedy Central studios. What if it all goes horribly wrong!
I just want to be assured that no matter what happens, I won't lose my 4x a week dose of Jon Stewart -- whether I want him or not. I just like to know he's there. And I hope that the giant Viacom machine doesn't chew him up and spit him out. He's smoother and savvier and smarter now, right? I shouldn't worry....of course...I'll just overlook that Grammys fiasco.
Next week -- my fears about Roger Ebert.
Labels: 2002, famous people, television
By: Alyssa | Friday, March 08, 2002 at Friday, March 08, 2002 | |
