For the Love of LL Bean
I have owned a crappy pair of knock-off duck boots for about, let’s say five years. They were the boots I put on when I shoveled. They’re not really meant for walking because I can’t bend or flex in them – like a foot, a knee, an ankle. It doesn’t work.

When we got a little over two feet of snow, followed quickly by another six inches I did what any person would do – I pulled out the shoveling boots. I walked to the bus stop in them, I wore them on the train, and I hiked around in them at the office.

By the time I’d get home, my little feet were screaming in agony. They’re just not comfortable.

I realized I’d have to buy a proper pair of snow boots – not fashion boots with a three inch kicky heel. I’ve got those and they are useless in any kind of snow. But I can run in them, so there’s something if I’m ever up for the role of some kind of action star. Plus, the salt destroys the buttery leather.

I have been eyeballing the feet of my fellow New Englanders for a while now. First, I’m short so it is easier for me to look down than up when I get squished into a corner train car. Plus, I figured I’d take a cue from them – I mean, they live here.

I suspected that if there was ever a legitimate opportunity for the wearing of UGG boots, it would be during massive snowfalls in New England. They’d be practical, mobile and keep your feet warm. I think I only spotted a couple of pair – apparently no one wants dirty suede.

What I did see by the hundreds – literally – were all shape and manner of LL Bean boots. I hopped onto their site and poked around, after a few minutes I found just the thing – the Storm Chaser. It is made like an athletic shoe but protects like a boot – water proof and warm to like -10 F.

They had me at hello.

I ordered them and they arrived on Friday. I was pretty leery of breaking in new boots on my walk home, but my dogs were aching, so I took a chance. I wore them home with no complaints. On Saturday I wore them around on our day of errands. On Sunday I trudged about five miles (or so) around Cambridge in them. These boots are made for walking.

I guess the moral of this story is that even though it seems lame or bougie or whatever, sometimes embracing the New England footwear lifestyle is okay. So I’ll proudly wear those big clunkers around for the rest of the winter.

But I’m not going to get one of those heinous Vera Bradley bags. And god help me if I ever wear a dickie.

By: Alyssa | Monday, January 31, 2005 at Monday, January 31, 2005 | |

More about books!
Okay, since I’m keeping track – I guess I’m doing it.

Let’s see, I read:

The House – the less said the better. I was intrigued by the idea of some of the guy’s other books, especially the one about a giant store that takes over a town (a la Wal-Mart). But the House did not really do it for me. I think I’m finally over my – wow, why don’t I ever read horror? phase.

Dr. Haggard’s Disease – I thought this was a little tougher to read than Asylum, by the same author. I think the fact that there’s very little dialogue makes it denser. This book is basically a flashback and inner monologue of the protagonist, Dr. Haggard. Still, it is quite compelling and interesting although I think I preferred Asylum a bit more. I’m enjoying my adventures with deeply damaged individuals.

Bones – I picked this up because of the cover, which was stupid. The book was initially very engaging thriller, but after a few chapters I started to lose interest. By the end, it turned into a meh episode of CSI or something.

Next up:
The Eyre Affair - I’m only a few chapters in and love it. I really enjoy a book that relies on you to know other things – like a bit about history or science. I can tell this one will keep me thinking, I just hope it keeps me engaged.

Okay – I’m 10 books in for January. I expect that pace is going to slow down once the ice age ebbs away . But who knows when that will be.

By: Alyssa | at Monday, January 31, 2005 | |

We’re on it
I got an emergency call from the French Connection last night. She and CC are trying to buy a house – like… immediately.

I guess they found a great place and are on fire with excitement and burning to hand over all of their money to a guy for a small 2 bedroom condo.

I will not share the cost – needless to say, it is too much. Not too much for Cambridge, but just too much. Does that make sense?

Boston is – as my mother-in-law would say “’spensive.”

Word.

I talked to the French Connection at length about their ideas, their hopes, and the location (our old neighborhood). We talked about costs, parking, affordability, the prospect of a porch and the excitement of central air.

Then Deeps took over when the FC called back to get more information about looking up property values online (Cambridge is on fire with some of their online features). Satisfied with the results of her discussion, FC promised to keep us updated about the purchase.

The side effect of such a conversation with the always-excited FC is that the excitement over home buying is contagious and now Deeps is highly motivated.

Highly.

“We need to get on this,” he said.

I was filling out our taxes and then I unleashed – which was totally unfair, but it happened. I’m human – a mean human.

“Look – I couldn’t even get you to give me a list of requirements like two weeks ago. I couldn’t get you to even look at the list I made. Getting started means, ‘Alyssa – you get started.’ That’s not going to fly, dude.”

Yes I call my husband dude because it is better than calling him dirty, filthy, foul profanities.

“I – but – no!” He started to protest.

Then I told him he hadn’t read the book, hadn’t done any research and I might have blacked out or something. Oh the yelling – it keeps me young.

This is what our fights are like – totally one sided. And arbitrary.

Before I sacked out with cough medicine – because the cough is mysteriously back, and I think contributing to my overall crankiness – Deeps delivered a small file folder to me.

Inside he’d collected important bank documents, a few lists of brokers, some mortgage information, and he put checkmarks on the list next to the “requirements” we established for the house.

“I’m sorry I yelled,” I said.
“I know – I’m sorry I didn’t participate more,” he said.
“I’m sorry about saying you don’t do anything, because you do lots of stuff,” I said.
“I’m sorry I called your cat fat,” he said.
“I’m sorry that she is fat,” I replied.
“I’m sorry that I told you that you stick your tongue out when you dance, because now you never do it and I thought it was hilarious,” he said.
“I’m sorry that I make chicken sounds when your parents call,” I said.
“I’m sorry for laughing at you when you fell in the snow at Williams in 1994,” he said.
“I’m sorry for hitting you with a face full of snow when we were shoveling on New Year’s in 2000,” I said.

Please commence your vomiting.

By: Alyssa | at Monday, January 31, 2005 | |

Man bags for everyone!
Men - if you're hesitant about the man bag, please let me direct you to Mr. Mike Rohde. He has found a very nice looking, masculine, man bag that holds his daily stuff. It's very, very nice and cheap!

I'm thinking I might need one. Maybe it's a backlash for the ugliest bag in the world.

It's a man bag the toughest among you could love.

By: Alyssa | Friday, January 28, 2005 at Friday, January 28, 2005 | |

It’s like I don’t even know you
Last night’s commute was so heinous – I was so cold and tired – I nearly lost my mind. I almost cried at Park St. It was bad. I’m not a crier.

But I kept myself together. I made it home. Sure – it took over two hours to go less than 5 miles. And some guy playing with my hair. But I made it.

When I got home, Deeps told me that he’d already eaten – because at one point on the phone I told him that I was thinking about trying to get a 2-bedroom apartment with the other passengers. Maybe we could move in together that night because the Red Line was not moving.

Then I told him that I loved him and I wanted him to go on and live is his life and be happy. To not be afraid to marry again.

Apparently my sarcasm translated into action to him – he took this opportunity to go buy some pizza. For himself.

Jerk.

“I just want you know – in this marriage, you get one. That’s your one,” I told him. He nodded solemnly.

I was mad, but I got over it a few hours later when I was sitting at the computer looking up some recipes (I’m meal planning since I think the Ice Age will never lift and no one will deliver).

He was talking – no yelling – at the TV. At Point Pleasant of all things.

“So were you always a slut? I need more back story,” he yelled to no one in particular.

Later…
“What you’re like the son of God now, mother trucker?”

(I like this new random tendency to punctuate ridiculous questions with the dirty version of mother trucker because I find it hilarious. Deeps is so reserved and like… adult – it is hard to imagine him ever dropping the F bomb. I on the other hand talk like a trucker or a Marine.)

“Oh for the love of Santa, what is wrong with you people?”

The other night he was watching 24. He stopped watching the show sometime around the “Kim is trapped by a cougar” trope. But I guess he was bored or something.

“Pick up the gun! Pick up the gun!”

Moments later….
“These people are so stupid, I don’t know how they get to work in the morning.”

I don't know, dear. But I do know that questions like this are why we are soul mates.

By: Alyssa | at Friday, January 28, 2005 | |

Stop in the name of Uggs
My friend Emily lives on the beach, in California. And she’s really cute. Please feel free to hate her.

Kidding – we love her so much we’re going to sell our blood and hair and maybe our DVD player so that we can go to Italy to see her get married.

So we were chatting yesterday about shoes. Because we both have very specific shoe requirements. She works at home and likes to dress – uhm – in what I’ll call Yoga casual. Because in LA you can’t just call them “sweats.”

She told me that she was wearing these UGG slippers and that she really liked them because they kept her feet warm (because it is “cold”) and because now matter how much you wear them they don’t smell.

See – this is why we are friends. We are constantly exploring our old lady tendencies together and she’s not afraid to share with me (and I share with you) that she’s got stinky cheese feet.

Em: So I’m thinking I should get some more, but like a clog.
ME: You’re going to buy more UGGs – that’s wrong. Don’t do it.
Em: I knew you’d feel that way. I don’t want to do it, but they’re just exactly right.
ME: First it was the Walking Spirit store, now it is the UGGs. You are on a slippery slope my friend.

I think I’ve talked her out of the UGGs by invoking the curse of the Walking Spirit store.

Finally, I reminded her that first and foremost she’s a Midwesterner and of much sturdier stock and that she should be wearing sandals in California when it is like 60 degrees out.

Em: I know, but my feet get cold.
ME: You need to go to Orbitz and book a flight.
Em: What?
ME: You need to remember the cold. I’m staging an intervention.
Em: What’s it like out there?
ME: Well, let me put it to you this way – it is so cold you can see through time.
Em: Really?
ME: Yeah – I totally saw some Red Coats and musket fire when I was walking through the Common. And then I saw some cave men.

By: Alyssa | at Friday, January 28, 2005 | |

To move the car
The Matrix, tiny and lithe, has been cleared since Sunday. And again on Monday. And then again on Wednesday. Anyway, we keep digging that sucker out – but not driving it.

It has been bitterly cold this week – in fact this morning, the temperature is hovering around zero.

In previous bitterly cold weeks I catch a ride with Deeps to the train station on his way to work. But no one has been driving this week, because I think the idea of moving the car from the street (we street park, which is why we have this problem) only to come back and find someone else in the spot is too much to bear.

Too much.

And we refuse to do dibs (a la Chicago and South Boston) because that’s not how we roll. So we’ve been sucking it up and trudging 5 blocks to a bus stop – a nice walk that takes like 10 minutes on a good day. But there are no good days with nearly 3 feet of snow on the ground, so you bundle up and hope for a small miracle.

But I have a grocery list and the refrigerator is nearly bare. I will say that the blizzard has forced us to stop being so lazy and to cook meals every night. Just the other night I whipped up home made mac and cheese and pork chops with a delicious mustard sauce. I did not know I had it in me.

And the fridge has never been empty before because we have eaten all the food. Even all the produce and the cheese. We even at all the frozen peas!

Someone is going to have to give up the ghost and drive me to the grocery store.

By: Alyssa | at Friday, January 28, 2005 | |

School for the gifted
I wasn't surprised by this headline:
January becomes snowiest ever for Boston.

However, I was puzzled as to why this story prominently features a picture of James Woods and some blonde hussies at the Sundance Film Festival.

I guess the Yahoo! people think snow is snow.

By: Alyssa | Thursday, January 27, 2005 at Thursday, January 27, 2005 | |

Making Babies
Is it wrong that sometimes I dream up these titles merely to freak out Cuddles?

No – I did not think so.

While the question of whether or not Deeps and I will ever be parents remains unanswered (but sadly – not unasked), I am happy to say I contributed to the making of Science Baby.

Because, as she so cleverly points out, it takes a village.

Need more baby things? Okay – well our friend Gus is walking.

Dooce is still on the loose. Dads are getting into the act.

And several people are counting down to the big day. (Some lucky people just had it.) A few folks are getting into the routine.

Why have a baby when you can live vicariously through others for free?

By: Alyssa | at Thursday, January 27, 2005 | |

In the name of science: Ziploc vs. Gladware

In the name of science is part of an occasional series of entries - you see them when I'm really tired of writing about snow and can't come up with other stuff.

I take my lunch to work – I’m sure many other people do. And I’ve been happy that companies have started making the little cheapo plastic containers. Look, sometimes you need to throw that stuff away.

I just peeked in the fridge and saw something that might be like a tortilla casserole – I don’t remember when I made it. So, it’s got to go.

But more often than not you throw some soup in a container, take it to work, eat it and then bring your little container home. Easy peasy – no brainer.

I, however, do not like to take the easy way every time. (Okay almost every time.) And in the name of science I am comparing the little plastic containers (by brand) you can easily buy at your grocery store. Please welcome Ziploc and Gladware.

I have started with comparably sized containers – each can hold about 2 cups of food. The containers are comparably priced.

Both have clear plastic containers with little blue lids. Both hold up well in the fridge, the freezer and the microwave. I have not been able to melt either in the microwave, as sometimes happens with take-out food containers.

Both do get the residual discoloration from tomato sauce – however I have noticed that that staining goes away after a few trips through the dishwasher.

So far – they’re pretty even. But then I started looking a little closer at them.

Ziploc features handy measuring lines in both cups and milliliters so you know exactly how much food you’re loading into the container. (I like this because I’m watching my food intake – which I guess is like saying you’re “financially embarrassed”.)

Gladware does not feature such lines – I looked and looked but didn’t find anything similar.

Ziploc’s lid is also a little easier to shut. I can push in the center (just like in the commercials) and snugly, safely close the container.

The Gladware version requires pushing down on all four corners of the container.

The Ziploc lid also has a small area where you can write the date (conveniently stamped “date”) of the food you dumped in – thereby avoiding that embarrassing question “Just how old is this tortilla casserole?”

Gladware does not have such a feature.

In the end, the devil is – as they say – in the details. Both products succeed in their primary missing to allow you to cheaply and easily transport food and later throw away if you’re so inclined. Ziploc just has that tiny bit of extra user-centered design that I appreciate.

Advantage Ziploc.

Previously In the Name of Science
Robitussin PM vs. NyQuil
Ragu Light vs. Healthy Choice
More than you wanted to know about Seasonale

By: Alyssa | at Thursday, January 27, 2005 | |

Don’t name your baby this
My friend, Brant, once regaled me with a fine story about his encounter with what he liked to call “a hillbilly of the U.P.”.

Allegedly, while visiting his mother, he was wandering around her small town in Michigan. He stopped at McDonald’s for a snack and waited in line behind a woman and her like three or four kids. They were all fighting and pushing each other around because that’s what kids do.

The mother – exasperated - asked the oldest girl to stop, “Potpi, please – stop doing that.”

Potpi did not stop.

Finally, Mom dropped her full name old-school style. “Potpourri you had better stop it this instant.”

As jaws dropped, apparently Potpourri decided to behave herself.

Please do not name you children Potpourri.

By: Alyssa | at Thursday, January 27, 2005 | |

Snow is pretty

The entrance to the Boston Public Gardens as you make your way from the Common. What I can't capture in this photo is how much scary traffic I waded through to get to the entrance - and then how utterly still and silent the gardens were. 

By: Alyssa | Wednesday, January 26, 2005 at Wednesday, January 26, 2005 | |

View of Arlington St. Church from the Public Gardens. I took a little hike across the Common and the Gardens to work this morning. I do it all for you Internet! 

By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, January 26, 2005 | |

You can see from the bench at the far right, the snow is pretty deep in the city. But not too deep for the giant chocolate lab that nearly knocked me over with happy dog delight. Oh dogs - you must be in snowy dog heaven. 

By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, January 26, 2005 | |

Usually this is a clear path around the pond - but it looks like the snow removal squad hasn't made it over there yet. A few paths were pretty clear - but you could not discern where the pond started and land stopped - so stick to the clear path. Unless you're a duck or something. 

By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, January 26, 2005 | |

Massachusetts State House - just this morning during the snow storm.

My morning commute went something like this (a la Yosemite Sam): Rasa-frasa-son-of-@$&%. It took me like 2 hours to get to work - but the last 15 minutes, as I walked through the gorgeous, quiet cityscape were worth it.

Ooooh look - shiny. 

By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, January 26, 2005 | |

Bandwidth: Adventures in Asia

My friend Stephen is doing a huge tour of Asia. He left the day after the earthquake and tsunami - I wasn't sure if he'd be able to do his trip. But he has, and if you'd like to spend some of your day looking at lovely photos he's taken you should visit his site and scroll through his photo diary.

Pretty.

By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, January 26, 2005 | |

Follow up: Nerd fest
I found a couple of pictures from the MIT Mystery Hunt this year – from Deeps’ camera. And I was going to post them online, but they look exactly like you’d expect them to look. Basically a bunch of dudes sitting around at computers with furrowed brows. If you can’t visualize that – I found this picture of MIT students (not 30-something dudes who are posing as MIT students).

Not really as sexy as like – action photos of me on a giant mountain of snow – that to quote Mike Pope was “several Alyssas high”. Yeah, the pile was probably in the 20-foot range, which is slightly less than 4 Alyssas high.

I’m seriously considering measuring everything in terms of “Alyssas high” because I think it might make our pending house hunt a lot more interesting.

Labels: 2005, nerds

By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, January 26, 2005 | |

Follow-up: World’s ugliest bag
I’m sorry – there are no pictures.

I realize that I’m a hypocrite because anytime anyone I read talks about anything weird, funny, or cute – I demand photographic evidence. Recently both Zander and Rachel have accommodated such requests.

So I apologize for shipping back the world’s ugliest bag before taking a picture. To quote my friend J – I had to get rid of it immediately. It was like an evil demon living in my cubicle and I had to cast it out.

Plus I don’t have a lot of time to return it and since the next Ice Age starts this morning (it is already snowing hard!) I figured I should move quickly.

Sorry – there is no picture.

To make up for it, tonight I’ll post many lovely photos of Boston. I’m dragging my Nikon to work with me and plan on shooting Boston Common and the Public Garden. And any frozen hobos I see.

By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, January 26, 2005 | |

Cautious Optimism
I don’t want to be a screaming harpy about politics. For the most part I don’t really address them here – it’s not what this site is about. Plus, I don’t do it that well – I’ll be honest.

I’m political in life, but I’m also Midwestern. I find that sometimes being actively political flies in the face of the state motto of Indiana which is something along the lines of “mind your own damn business.” It’s like the flipside of the coin “butt out.”

Heh.

The guy who thinks he got Bush into the White House (he apparently has never heard of Karl Rove – or for that matter, John Kerry) is now calling in his marker. Like 4 days after the inauguration.

He and the Pope apparently think the greatest threat facing America (and the world) is gay marriage.

He really wants a constitutional amendment. Bush has talked about supporting one. I think this is a bad idea – obviously. But I remain cautiously optimistic – and I look to history for this optimism.

I caught part of Ken Burn’s excellent documentary about Jack Johnson (aptly called Unforgivable Blackness). Johnson was a firebrand and he paid little attention to what others wanted or what society expected. Johnson dared to marry a white woman – and all hell broke loose.

In 1912 Rep. Seaborn Roddenberry of Georgia introduced the anti-miscegenation amendment. He wanted to amend the constitution to say (I’m paraphrasing) that intermarriage between whites and “any persons of color” is forbidden – forever.

That amendment didn’t pass – thankfully, and I have reason to believe that changing the Constitution of the United States to ban gay marriage would meet a similar fate. I hope it would. Because while some people may not agree, they may find it upsetting, they may find it offensive – a good number of people also don’t want the government stepping in and telling them what to do.

I look to the story that appeared in the Washington Post last year. A teenage boy came out to his community – he was active in his church. An outsider threatened to come to the town and raise holy hell about it. In the end, the town wasn’t going to take any guff from someone who didn’t live there. It’s not open-armed acceptance, but it isn’t close-minded condemnation.

It isn’t the radical step forward that gay marriage advocates are looking for – but I do think it remains a reason to be hopeful.

By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, January 26, 2005 | |

Sometimes the Internet will do you wrong
I love shopping online. It is easy and convenient, plus I like to get stuff in the mail that is not an annoying offer from Capital One.

I do not want a stupid Visa – I am trying to buy a house.

Usually my online shopping experiences are positive. I don’t usually get a bad item, but my luck took a turn last week.

I’m downsizing my commuter bag – I don’t enough stuff to warrant the larger size. Plus I tend to overfill if I have a bigger bag. And I have a bag that looks like something a boy would have and I really wanted a girl bag. Because I do. Okay – I do.

I wandered over to Timbuk2.com and put together an order. They let you customize your own messenger bag. This is a fantastic feature for probably everyone else on the planet – except me.

I should not be allowed to pick my own colors. I know that colors on a monitor aren’t always “true” to what the colors look like in person. (Exhibit A is the new down coat I ordered that looked like a nice fern green but is instead more of a pukey, drab green – the coat is now known as the Ugly coat. Thankfully, it is warm.)

I picked a lovely blend of a dusty pink and a deep plum. They looked (online) to have the same color value, just different shades.

A few weeks later I got a box at my office. The lovely office admin dropped it off and then kinda hung around as I opened it. I ripped the box open and gasped.

ME: Oh my god.
Admin: What?
I quickly closed the box.
ME: I have made a huge mistake.
Admin: What did you do?
ME: I ordered the ugliest bag in the world.
Admin: How bad could it be?
I showed her – she gasped then started laughing really hard.

Luckily, I can return the bag. I do not blame the fine people at Timbuk2 – I blame myself. Clearly, I cannot be trusted to pick out colors online.

I showed it to another co-worker and she emphatically supported my decision.

Co-worker: Why did you choose those colors?
ME: They looked good online and I wanted something more feminine.
Co-worker: Because you’re a 12-year-old girl?
ME: I…bu….I’m shipping it back tomorrow.

By: Alyssa | Tuesday, January 25, 2005 at Tuesday, January 25, 2005 | |

Not just a river in Egypt
I’m sort of blissfully ignoring the weather forecasts that we’ll be getting another 5-6 inches of snow tomorrow.

Is that wrong? If it is – I do not want to be right.

If you start to see snow demons, you may need to notify the authorities. It might also be a sign of carbon monoxide poisoning or frostbite.

I think I’m going to need another pair of boots. My shoveling boots are really only good for shoveling and not much else. Walking in them is like – unfortunate.

Meanwhile, I have delusions of an Italian vacation for my friend’s wedding. That means I need to find some deals on plane tickets, pronto. So far, no luck. The cheapest flights I found to Florence that are sensible (that means no random 8 hour layovers) are in the $700/person range. I’d love to see that number come down.

That’s like my favorite negotiating strategy next to “Is that the best you can do?” – the whole “I’d love to see that number come down.” It’s not too abrasive but so straightforward. Another good one is “What do I give up if I get it for $X.” You’d be surprised how well that works.

This is like my worst entry ever.

Tonight, however, I’m all about creating my Public Transportation Manifesto. Because clearly – people need a memo.

By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, January 25, 2005 | |

We are closed, try again later
Internet, weren’t you happy with my real-time blogging during the blizzard?

No – you want fresh material.

Fine. Last night I dreamed that it was raining really hard today and that all the snow had melted.

That is the most wishful thinking I’ve probably ever manifested in a dream.

Oh my aching back. The snow – she was light, but there was so much. And now the old back hurts. Thankfully, that is all. Deeps was complaining about his lower back too. I suggested that later we cuddle up and rub BenGay all over each other’s backs. Because that is hot.

So the city and the state are closed today. I hope you weren’t visiting Massachusetts for vacation this week because, well – it’s going to be a little tough. And we’re closed today. Come back tomorrow!

I spent my snow day trying to get rid of the rust on my favorite knives.

Seems the Kingdom of the Spiders (our apartment) is also home to an old dishwasher that was (no longer) full of rust. So it threw rust on our nice metal things. I’ve since cleaned out the dishwasher, but was kind if avoiding the knives. It would require a lot of soaking in powerful chemicals and the wearing of big floppy, rubber gloves.

But since Deeps was working from home today and my office was closed, I figured what the hay. I think I’ve saved everything except a couple of the serrated knives. Luckily, those are cheaper (and will be easier) to replace.

Then I realized I was wearing big floppy gloves, so why not go change the litter box. This is my exciting life. It is too good – do not try to replicate it.

Later, I watched a horrible movie called “Octane” from the free section of the “One Demand” list. Really – has Mischa Barton ever been able to act? Because I have no evidence of this. Also – Madeleine Stowe had some really unfortunate hair in it – and there was some Bijou Phillips. And we know how that usually works out.

Ultimately, the day was so taxing that I had to flee to the cozy confines of my couch, where I slipped into a coma-like nap. Mmm… napping is like one of my five core competencies.

By: Alyssa | Monday, January 24, 2005 at Monday, January 24, 2005 | |

Where is the Heat Miser?

The snowbanks top the extra large garbage cans we set out (tomorrow is trash day!) and you'll see that snow is up to the top of the fence in front of the house. For now it is the Snow Palace, in the summer it will probably revert to the Kingdom of the Spiders. 

By: Alyssa | at Monday, January 24, 2005 | |

It seemed like a good idea at the time
Look at me! I'm back up - I'm the queen of the mountain. This was fun - but ultimately, not the smartest idea.  

By: Alyssa | Sunday, January 23, 2005 at Sunday, January 23, 2005 | |

I'm down - oh god, I'm down. 

By: Alyssa | at Sunday, January 23, 2005 | |

Snow Dayz

Behold the HeMan - Deeps - as he digs and digs because he loves me so.

Shortly after this picture was taken he told me to get a shovel and get to work. Our love is strong, Internet. 

By: Alyssa | at Sunday, January 23, 2005 | |

Here's the street - in the middle of the picture you'll see is a car. You're not going anywhere for a while dude. 

By: Alyssa | at Sunday, January 23, 2005 | |

Deeps got a call from the old lady upstairs. She couldn't close her door because of all the snow (duh). He started digging to help her - then kept going. And in doing so, he shamed the rest of the neighborhood to come out and start digging out as well. Our neighbors across the way have special child labor at their disposal.  

By: Alyssa | at Sunday, January 23, 2005 | |

This is our car - the might Toyota Matrix (in sexy Phantom Gray). I think she's going to stay parked for a few days. 

By: Alyssa | at Sunday, January 23, 2005 | |

I dug a path to the garbage, because I'm keeping it real. Our neighbors won't be able to drive their cars (right) until like...June. 

By: Alyssa | at Sunday, January 23, 2005 | |

Blogging the blizzard
I just heard on the news that there is discussion about closing Boston Public Schools tomorrow and Tuesday.

Wow.

My office will probably still be open, because we are dedicated.

How does this storm stack up to our previous blizzards? I think this might be bigger (snowfall totals) than the President's Day Blizzard from 2003 and the December to Remember Blizzard (also from 2003).

By: Alyssa | at Sunday, January 23, 2005 | |

It is still snowing - a blizzard in pictures

Our neighbors will have a tough time getting their cars out. Please note the giant drift on the Volvo wagon. 

By: Alyssa | at Sunday, January 23, 2005 | |

The snow plow has not been through for a while - you'll see at the far right side of the picture is a car parked (now buried) on the street. It is a VW Jetta. 

By: Alyssa | at Sunday, January 23, 2005 | |

Across the street you'll see that they have a similar problem - big drifts up the steps. 

By: Alyssa | at Sunday, January 23, 2005 | |

Our door is snowed shut - this picture is shot out the window. Right now there's about a 2 foot drift agains the door. 

By: Alyssa | at Sunday, January 23, 2005 | |

So far

It has been snowing for about 3 hours. The weather dudes are so psyched I can’t even begin to tell you. The closest you may ever come to seeing such excitement is if you were in Florida (you have my deepest sympathies) during the horrific hurricane season.

These dudes are excited.

After the snow – all 7000 feet of it – apparently the next ice age will be coming. We’ll be enjoying “much below freezing windchills”. I guess Dennis Quaid was right. We really should have listened to him.

So far today I’ve shredded a month’s worth of old mail, read a couple of chapters in a trashy novel (with much blood and mayhem), enjoyed a movie starring Stephanie Zimbalist, called home, and taken a nap (Deeps would like me to point out the nap was taken with the Poopus).

Next on my list is to make a list. Or take another nap. Please enjoy the photos below. And this link (warning - involves more pictures of cats) – because Internet, I cannot make this stuff up.

By: Alyssa | Saturday, January 22, 2005 at Saturday, January 22, 2005 | |

The street is dark and unplowed. I expect tomorrow I might be able to walk directly from the top of the porch on to the street because there will be 4000 feet of snow.  

By: Alyssa | at Saturday, January 22, 2005 | |

The snow - it begins. Please note the artistic nature of the giant, fluffy snowflakes. And my neighbor's house because I was totally not walking off the porch in that stuff.  

By: Alyssa | at Saturday, January 22, 2005 | |

Blizzard watch 2005

It is on people – the weather guys are so freaking excited. We’ve got a bonafide Nor’easter a coming and it looks like it could be a humdinger. They are predicting 20-30 inches of snow for us by tomorrow afternoon. Huzzah.

I’ll keep you posted with pictures and reports from the front. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to get out of shoveling this time.

Deeps got all panicky last night and demanded we go to the grocery store to “prepare” for the weekend. I guess that means I’m going to have go cook.

I made my award-winning awesome 5 bean chili, but really – that may come back to haunt us. Because we all know the song about beans.

Right now - I'm going back to work on my Bizzard To-Do list. I'm going to be stuck in the house for 2 days I figure I should get some stuff done. Like make a list.

Happy Saturday!

By: Alyssa | at Saturday, January 22, 2005 | |

Before the storm - all is quiet on my street.  

By: Alyssa | at Saturday, January 22, 2005 | |

Before the storm - we have some snow, and some dead rosebushes. Can you feel the tension? No - that's because it's 1 freaking degree out (that's not windchill people). 

By: Alyssa | at Saturday, January 22, 2005 | |

Round up – 50 books ahoy

This 50-book challenge is really catching on.

I’m not officially participating, but I have read a couple of interesting books. Okay, interesting is actually code for trashy techno/science thrillers. I’m not ashamed – I was an English major in college and oh the reading I did.

Now I spend about half my time reading “literature” and half my time reading popular fiction, non-fiction, short stories and other assorted “best-sellers.” (Thanks 90-minute daily commute! I don’t read so much as consume books.)

I find that I read in fits and spurts by genre – last year I read a ton of vintage detective fiction by Chandler, Hammet, and the reissues from The Feminist Press. And of course there was the masterpiece of non-fiction, Devil in White City.

I also poured through a lot of autobiographical essays by Notaro (she makes me laugh out loud – regularly), Burroughs, Sedaris and Zevin.

This year (so far) I’m reading a lot of psychological horror/thriller/science-y stuff (see below).

Year Zero – so trashy and lightweight it could be consumed in 3 days.

Hell House – I’m embarking on a horror trend, perhaps inspired by the winter. Matheson is a classic. The movie, of course, was craptastic – the book was delicious and weird.

Afterlife – Amazon said I’d probably like it. I did not.

The Hour Before Dark – Another Amazon suggestion – so far they are 0/2 and I’m 0/2 with Douglas Clegg. He’s supposed to be like the hot new thing in horror, so far I am under whelmed. Maybe I was just looking for the slasher-movie equivalent to a horror novel. I’m probably going back to more Matheson.

Asylum – now I’ve found a new favorite writer. This book is deeply dark and disturbing – but it’s all very relatable and real. It’s an interesting psychological thriller with good character development – I also found there was a very strong feeling of inevitability that I felt when I get to the end of the book. But I think it was more a function of understanding what happens when mental illness is untreated rather than making a statement about the hopelessness of mental illness. Good stuff (and a quick read).

The Relic – a fun, adventure read that was turned into a horrible movie. Don’t let that stop you. I’ve actually read all of the novels by Preston and Child. Their work is like a giant adventure movie – the kind that don’t really get made anymore. I read most of their books last summer, again, a nice diversion on the train. Plus they’ve created a couple of interesting and recurring characters that I’m sure to follow in future installments.

The Cement Garden – I’m just started reading this novel. It was recommended to me by Amazon (because I liked Asylum). It seems to be a novel in the same vein – heavy on disturbing psychological issues. I will say this – at page 5 of the novel I was like – eww. I thought about quitting, but I’m going to keep going. It’s very challenging and not for the faint-hearted.

By: Alyssa | Friday, January 21, 2005 at Friday, January 21, 2005 | |

Please disable the secondary alarm

Deeps flew back from Albe-quirky late last night. I was happily zonked out and woke up when he came to bed sometime around 1AM.

“You’re back,” I murmured.
“Yep, I didn’t even have to wear coat in New Mexico,” he said smugly.
“Jerk,” I said pulling the 4000-pound down comforter over my head.
“We can sleep in a little in the morning since I came in so late tonight,” he suggested.
“Okay,” I said, rolling over and resetting the alarm.

I set the alarm for like 30 minutes later – nothing major. But when the “usual” wake-up time rolled around, so did a vicious phenomenon known as the “secondary alarm.”

MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! The mighty Poopus was perched on the side table, next to my head – bellowing.

I roughly translate late it to the following: “Red one it is time to get up, get up Red one.”

I assume that in the cat’s brain (which is tiny – like a walnut) my husband and I are also cats. Or something like cats, with thumbs and driver’s licenses.

So I figure she’ thinks I’m the red one and Deeps is the brown one and she’s constantly vying with me for the brown one’s – I mean Deeps’ – affections. He gets to be the alpha cat I guess.

“What the hell is wrong with your cat,” Deeps moans into his pillow. He’s really not a morning person.
“Oh I forgot – I can’t disable the secondary alarm,” I said, pushing aside the covers and sitting up.
“What?” Deeps asked.
“The Poopus makes sure that there’s no snoozing on her watch – it’s like she’s Swiss or German or something.”
“But she doesn’t do it on the weekends,” Deeps said.
“I know – she knows the schedule. It is time to get up,” I said standing.
“But, we need more sleep,” he muttered.

Deeps was astounded by the walnut-brained animal’s capacity for knowing the time and the day. I’m kind of astounded too because she’s often confused if there’s something poking her in the butt and she can’t see it (she’s not one for moving her head around to investigate).

Later Deeps mentioned that our schedule had changed about a month ago – we’re getting up earlier than we used to for work. “So she’s adjusted her schedule?” he asked.

“Yep, she used to give me hell in the morning after you’d left – when we were getting up later,” I said. “So you always missed out on the secondary alarm.”

“How long has this been going on?”
“Oh,” I paused – trying to guess – “I guess about three years.”

Deeps looked over at the cat that was curled up on my pillow.

“I think I know the real reason why she wants you out of bed,” he said pointing to the cat. “She wants to sleep in your spot.”

“Oh Deeps, that’s just part of it – she really just wants you to herself.”

By: Alyssa | at Friday, January 21, 2005 | |

Because I’m a woman

On the phone, with my girlfriend (GF – she would prefer NOT to make appearances in the blog. How bougie. Doesn’t she know blogs are the new black?).

Me: Hi!
GF: Hey
Me: I’m going to Sephora – do you need anything?
GF: Uhm… (thinking) No. I’m good.
Me: Not even those hair thingeys?
GF: Nope - but be on the lookout.
Me: For sales?
GF: No – for dirty bombs.
Me: Oh right.
GF: Keep your eyes peeled
Me: Because – I could catch a terrorist.
GF: It could happen.
Me: Well, I’ll look for them at Sephora – along with some eyeliner.
GF: Oooh – what kind?
Me: Something creamy, in dark brown. I really thought this year I’d figure out how to successfully apply liquid liner…
GF: And how’d that go?
Me: I ended up with a lot in my eye – for like two days.
GF: Gross.
Me: And on my pillow.
GF: Eww…
Me: I know – I can’t get it to wash off so well.
GF: Hmm… that’s no good. Anyway, good luck.
Me: Thanks.
GF: And be vigilant.
Me: I will – because if I can’t buy eyeliner, then the terrorists will have won.
GF: Amen.

By: Alyssa | Thursday, January 20, 2005 at Thursday, January 20, 2005 | |

Christmas every day

I finally downloaded and dealt with pictures from Christmas. Why so long? Well, I’ve got big things to deal with okay – like inflation and dirty bombs.

Anyway, behold the miracle of the six-pack (below). See how things were all happy and fun before they were infecting me with their plague.

Sidebar: Can you call in sick to work due to “dirty bomb”? Just wondering…

Labels: holidays

By: Alyssa | at Thursday, January 20, 2005 | |

Jaylen (I think on the left) and Brandon (on the right) are forced by their mother to wear really ridiculous (matching!) outfits. I did liberate them from the BOW TIES! as soon as I arrived at Peeper's house for Christmas. Do no not make your baby wear a bow tie. That's just wrong. So is fake velvet with gold swirly things on it. (See above) 

By: Alyssa | at Thursday, January 20, 2005 | |

Macaroni - just awake from his nap - was an unstoppable cuddle machine. Unfortunately for me, he was also a carrier of some type of child plague. He apparently had a day of sniffles whereas I was down for 2 freaking weeks. Still - he's cute! 

By: Alyssa | at Thursday, January 20, 2005 | |

Focus got these slick jammies for Christmas ("They are DRAGONS!" he proclaimed.) and felt like they would also work as some type of camouflage. 

By: Alyssa | at Thursday, January 20, 2005 | |

Earlier, Peanut was really interested in the entire gift receiving process. She was especially happy to receive the Dora the Explorer hair scrunchi. What girl wouldn't be thrilled? 

By: Alyssa | at Thursday, January 20, 2005 | |

Peanut (left) and Blondie (right) were jumping on Grandma's bed (the shame!) and were busted by Deeps. Luckily, he was able to make one of them feel ashamed for such bad behavior. 

By: Alyssa | at Thursday, January 20, 2005 | |

I like big guts


What you have to look forward to when you get knocked up with your third child in less than three years (see evidence above: Macaroni and Peanut). Behold the gut on Cuddles at just NINE weeks. 

By: Alyssa | at Thursday, January 20, 2005 | |

Terrible new discoveries

I married a nerd, but I did not think I was nerd. Apparently I am wrong. Gah.




Seriously - look at this post, now how could I possibly be nerdier than this guy? Honestly! I think it was because I know stuff from the periodic table. It's in my head, I cannot help it. I also know a lot of stuff about Dallas.

How embarassing.

Labels: 2005, nerds

By: Alyssa | Wednesday, January 19, 2005 at Wednesday, January 19, 2005 | |

In the name of Science: Robitussin PM vs. NyQuil

As you may have read here, I had a cold for the better part of the holidays – last night was one of my first cough free nights. I feel pretty confident in saying it is finally OVER.

To that end, I would like to share with you what I’ve learned about over-the-counter (OTC) cold medicines. Because why should you suffer?

I experimented with a lot of daytime cold medicine and found almost all of it worked for me. My biggest problem was night. This is the first cold/flu/plague I’ve had in years where I did not sleep. Usually I am able to sleep and sleep and then sleep some more. For some reason, sleep – she was elusive. So I turned to the old stand-by, NyQuil.

Now you have probably taken NyQuil. It’s good - it makes you sleep hard. The only downside for me is that after a couple of days I find I have to take a second dose during the night as NyQuil only works for (according to the directions) about four hours. I preferred to not have to take a second dose because if I was trying to go to work in the morning I’d be all groggy. Plus, I really just wanted to sleep through the night.

I started my search for eight-hour nighttime cold medicine. As far as I can tell, this is a pretty elusive beast. I was successful when I came across Robitussin PM. Now it does not address all of the symptoms that NyQuil covers – however it did cover the major ones for me: coughing and congestion. If you take a couple of acetaminophen or ibuprofen along with the Robitussin PM you’ll probably get something very comparable to the NyQuil.

I was very interested in the cough suppressant values. For me, the cough is the last thing to go and this cough lingered – and was keeping me up at night.

I found the Robitussin worked pretty well – the PM part (that makes you sleepy) was fine and I sleep but was not groggy. I slept for 8 hours easily and never coughed – not once. I wasn’t stuffy in the morning and had no residual morning cough. The NyQuil worked well enough but not quite as well as the Robitussin for the specific results I wanted: uninterrupted sleep and an eight-hour dose.

I’ll keep both in my medicine chest, but I must say that while I usually loathe liquid cough and cold medicine (there’s no gel-cap option with the Robitussin PM) I think it’s worth taking a couple of little gross shots of it for a good night’s sleep.

Advantage: Robitussin PM.

By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, January 19, 2005 | |

You are not doing yourself any favors

Oh Tennessee – why for art thou so sad? In the future, you may want to keep stories like this under wraps.

But it is the kind of story that probably makes Dooce secretly proud. Not so sure, allow me to present Exhibit A:
"I should have known something was up," he said. "She had all her teeth."

By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, January 19, 2005 | |

In the name of Science: Ragu Light vs. Healthy Choice

Maybe you’ve been wrestling with what kind of jarred tomato sauce to buy. It’s a real dilemma. I’ve been on the lookout for something without too much fat or sugar. I figure I’ve got plenty of that elsewhere; I don’t need it in tomato sauce.

I still doctor any store-bought sauce by adding: garlic, onion, crushed red pepper, sea salt, pepper, oregano and basil. That said I expect it to taste good even after my doctoring.

I’m going to have to come down firmly on the side of Healthy Choice Traditional. It actually has flavor. Even with my help (and then some) the Ragu light did not taste like – anything. It was just like, wet sauce stuff.

In performance, the two sauces performed the same. I used them both for my low-rent baked pasta surprise thingy. They bubbled, didn’t get too dry, and coated the pasta well.

So, if you’re shopping and can’t decide between the two – I’ve taken the bullet for you. Healthy Choice away.

You are welcome, Internet.

By: Alyssa | Tuesday, January 18, 2005 at Tuesday, January 18, 2005 | |

Please enjoy

Because I wrote like 4000 words about the freaking Container Store – I am grounding myself from writing any further boring blog entries.

So I bring you this site, submitted for your approval: Oveheard in the Office. Please waste your valuable bandwidth.

By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, January 18, 2005 | |

In the company of Nerds

I just wanted to offer a final wrap up of the Nerd Fest (known officially as the MIT Mystery Hunt).

Deeps reported that he had a very good time. The team didn't win, but they had their most successful run of puzzle solving to date. His only complaint was about the food. He said he'd like to take a more proactive role in the procuring of food.

“I need to be in charge of the food,” he said.
I nodded.
“They eat too much sketchy stuff – and it is all bad,” he added.

Oh my nerd – he’s gone soft since entering the world of marriage and gainful employment. This is what it is like to be a grown up – you have higher standards.

In other news, I learned that the Nerds running the contest had created a special Television Without Pity Puzzle.

Deeps took the time to explain it to me. There was a list of words that were from recaps posted on the site. You had to combine a vertical list of words with a horizontal list of words to derive all the….

I fell asleep at that point.

When I woke up – he explained it again and I smiled.

“You know we’re very similar, but it’s good to know that we have diverging interests,” I said.
“Yeah, I guess we found the exact spot where they diverge,” he laughed.

And for the record – apparently the nerds participating in the contest figured out that they had to spend a lot of time searching the TWOP archives. In doing so, they allegedly took out the site for a few hours (too many people trying to hit it at one time). So sorry for that DHAK, I know the nerds are truly sorry.

Labels: 2005, nerds

By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, January 18, 2005 | |

Contain yourself

Apparently the women of America (okay – the greater Boston metro area) have decided to get organized and simplify their lives. In doing so, they’re making a bloody mess.

Yesterday, I witness what can only be described as bedlam at the Container Store.

The Container Store recently opened in Chestnut Hill – a very tawny suburb – and it is the only one in New England (for now). I should have known what to expect, but I forgot – because I’m stupid.

I have been encouraging my friend EA to throw away and throw away and then throw away some more. She’s got a lot of stuff and she’s ready to de-clutter (to some degree). I offered to come over to her house to help.

The best way I can describe my strong love of the throwing away (and recycling) of stuff is that – I was once the biggest slob you’ve ever met. And then, through some things that I had control over (like getting a grip) and others I did not (like having hours and hours to clean and organize when I got laid off) I got religion (so to speak). I started purging.

Many of my Chicago friends were designer-types (and other assorted creatives) that lived in simple, clutter free apartments with Eames reproductions and slick, flat, clean surfaces. Their lives sparkled and I envied them greatly.

But I am a woman with stuff and I like my stuff. I am married to man (a mathematician of all things) with stuff, a man who loves to make piles, and who loves his stuff. Together, we have a lot of stuff (crap and precious treasures). We had to come together to get a grip.

The biggest purge happened before our massive relocation from Chicago to Boston. We’d been living in the same apartment for a little over 5 years and we’d accumulated a lot. And we had not gotten rid of much – primarily because we lived in a third floor walk-up and hauling stuff down three flights of rickety stairs and then across a parking lot could get a little awkward. When we figured out we were moving, we started to make a lot of big trips.

I suspect we purged approximately one (somewhat) large room of furniture, clothing, and stuff. We were triumphant. About six months after our move, we made another big purge and loaded our then empty dining room with stuff to donate to the Goodwill. Three guys came in a truck one cold spring morning and hauled our stuff away. We were on the road to recovery.

We will never have empty shelves or beautiful, clutter free homes. We will have what I like to think of as manageable amounts of stuff. And a clear coffee table – which is really all I can hope for. And for all the good work we’ve done, organizing and purging – I know there is more to be done. The DVD collection is starting to get a bit unruly and my husband cannot fit any more CDs onto our shelves. But that has not stopped his shopping.

Which brings me to the Container Store. It’s an absolutely fantastic resource for getting just the right thing to help with whatever organizational challenges you face. I mean it – it’s like the Lowes or Home Depot of organization. You can find the EXACTLY right tool for the job.

I took EA with me – I mentioned I had a small list of things to pick up and invited her along. I thought that she would benefit from seeing all the options available and then after we did more purging (together – we have a throwing away party actually scheduled) we could pick up a few things to help her tidy up her remaining items and organize her space.

Ideally, this is how you should work – you purge and then you plan. Going into that store without a list or a plan or a clue is dangerous.

And as far as I could tell yesterday, no one had a plan – except me. People were wandering and picking up stuff and looking around. Anyone with a nametag would get mobbed. At least three different women asked me for help solely because I looked like I knew where to find stuff.

EA was excited and alarmed by the crowds. We plunged ahead: searching, measuring, planning, and dreaming. There was lot to see. I quickly found my items and loaded the cart.

EA started to feel overwhelmed when she couldn’t get straight answers from anyone about an ELFA shelf. Then someone suggested she make an appointment to talk to a “planner” – she balked and backed away.

I’m not sure if she was ready for the container store. I’m not sure I was ready – I certainly wasn’t ready for the onslaught of women – in frenzy – shopping like mad for the perfect thing.

You need to know what you’re trying to do before you go in there - otherwise you’ll get overwhelmed and swamped and then have some sort of heated breakdown in the Elfa department.

“It sort of defeats the purpose of simplifying if you just buy more crap,” my husband observed as we pushed through the aisles.

He was right.

By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, January 18, 2005 | |

Buy Scott’s Book

Everyone’s best Interweb buddy, Scott Von Doviak, has written a fine tome. If you’re inclined to read about film then you might want to check out his work. His book, Hick Flicks: The Rise and Fall of Redneck Cinema, is available at your favorite online retailers or maybe even in stores near you.

I personally enjoy reading all about movies – how they get made, what drives themes, funny stories about insane directors. So, if you are like-minded and also aren’t afraid of hillbillies then you will probably find Scott’s book a good read.

Scott’s very personable and his love of movies is pretty evident if you ever get the chance to meet him in person. He also has really good hair and is not afraid of a man bag – single ladies in Texas, look for him! His wit and charm translate nicely to the page.

How many more good reasons do you need to buy his book? (For those who are more saving for their dream house – you have my permission to borrow it from the library.)

Scott is participating in the 50 book challenge, so perhaps you would enjoy reading his book as part of your 50 book challenge. If you have a book you’d like to plug for the 50 book challenge, please drop a line. If you don’t have a book then – what are you waiting for? Get to work.

Kidding. I kid because I love. I wish I had a book to plug.

By: Alyssa | Monday, January 17, 2005 at Monday, January 17, 2005 | |

Girl Poker

Last night, in an effort to keep myself entertained whilst my husband was occupied with Nerd Fest – I hosted girl poker.

Girl poker is not that different from regular poker except that we talk a lot more and play many fewer hands of poker. We spent a surprising amount of time talking about real estate and very little time talking about our periods.

We did talk about bad ex-boyfriends, we gossiped and we ate sandwiches. It was delicious.

I think the oddest part about girl poker was that we had two dudes in the game as well. They were incredibly game for girl poker – they gossiped and giggled and chatted as happily as any of us ladies.

We laughed and talked and played until the wee hours of the morning. My cheeks hurt from laughing. I think girl poker was a success - almost as big a hit as my "Pigs in a Blanket."

However, there was some weirdness during the evening.

At one point we demanded to know what had happened to the real “CC” – as he had exhibited a lot of uncharacteristic behavior including: encouraging table discussion (specifically gossip), he had folded hands several times, and spent a great deal of time eating fruits and vegetables. He was 20 minutes away for agreeing to join us for pedicures.

Labels: 2005, nerds

By: Alyssa | Sunday, January 16, 2005 at Sunday, January 16, 2005 | |

Nerds go home

Oh nerds – you have mysterious powers over my husband. He came home for such a brief period of time on Saturday morning that I never actually saw him during what I like to call “awake time”.

Sometime around 5 AM I rolled over and noticed that he’d made it home to bed. I sighed and went back to sleep. At about 7:45 I heard a couple of beeps. I opened my eyes and he was standing over me, dressed (smartly – not so nerdly, in fact) and kissing my forehead.

“I’ll see you later,” he said.
“But, when did you get home?” I asked – very groggy.
“Around 4,” he replied.
“And what time is it now,” I asked.
“It’s a little before 8,” he said.
“Ugh,” I grunted and went back to sleep.

He made a repeat performance last night – although I think the lack of sleep is catching up with him since he slept until about 9 (but didn’t roll in until closer to 5). At ten he was out the door again and hanging with the nerds. Usually I get a call around 1 to go have nerd brunch – they regale me with their exciting nerd adventures from the weekend.

It’s around 5:15 and I have not heard from Deeps since he left. The nerds have him in their clutches.

I hope he comes home soon – I really wanted to go to Target.

And I guess I miss him.

Labels: 2005, nerds

By: Alyssa | at Sunday, January 16, 2005 | |

Revolutions

This morning I was stunned with evidence of supernatural beings – what I will here-to-fore refer to as the "cleaning fairies".

I drugged myself with some Robitussin PM last night to drive out the last lingering effects of the cough that will not die. I think I might have finally killed it last night.

This morning I awoke – groggily – to find my apartment a lot cleaner. Counters had been wiped down. Stuff had been put away. Laundry was neatly folded. The floors had been swept.

I rushed back into the bedroom to wake Deeps.

“I think someone broke into the house,” I said.

“Why – what happened?” he asked with great concern.

“The apartment is clean!” I gasped.

He laughed bitterly and then threw himself back on his pillow. “I should totally divorce you,” he said.

“You could,” I snickered. “But you don’t know where the money is.”

He sighed. “I knew that was going to come back to haunt me some day.”

Oh Internet – we are in love.

By: Alyssa | Friday, January 14, 2005 at Friday, January 14, 2005 | |

Adventures in Marriage #214: Keeping it real

“Our house is totally disgusting,” my husband remarked this morning as he was searching for a sweater. “It is really, really dirty.”

“I know,” I replied casually sipping my coffee.

“We should clean it,” he suggested (thanks Mr. Obvious).

“Yeah, I figured I’d wait until you went to the Nerd Fest to clean it. It’s easier when you’re not around,” I said.

“I’m not sure if I should be pleased….or offended.”

Labels: 2005, nerds

By: Alyssa | Thursday, January 13, 2005 at Thursday, January 13, 2005 | |

Booktastic

The fastest way I know to keep people away from me on any public transportation is to whip out my large print copy of Satanic Verses.

It’s also an excellent read. (My copy has a big black cover with spooky red and gold script – making it even more menacing.)

I just got a big box from Amazon full of books. That’s how you know I was recently paid - the Amazon boxes are arriving. I order them before I send away all my money to the people who provide me with heat. Jerks.

This year a lot of people are doing the 50-book challenge – read 50 books in a year thing. I think it’s a great idea, but not to be an overachiever reader – but I’m on like book seven in the month of January.

I do spend up to two hours a day commuting, so I have plenty of reading time.

Which brings me to the point of this entry – what are you reading? Are you reading? If you’re looking for inspiration – as I am – you might want to visit Jessa Crispin’s Bookslut site and blog. There’s a great article in the Chicago Tribune today about her. (At the bottom there’s a nice list of books she liked in 2004.)

And for those who are looking for a book suggestion, I’d like to float Asylum by Patrick McGrath – it’s not a recommend I make lightly. I’m only 75 pages into the book but so far I’m totally wowed by it.

For the record, I’ve logged almost 80,000 words on this site in nearly three years and I don’t think I’ve ever written “wowed” once.

By: Alyssa | at Thursday, January 13, 2005 | |

The case for a Man bag

I must make a stand after seeing one too many unsightly bulges in men’s pockets. Please get yourself a man bag.

I’d like to make the case for the man bag, but it seems so many others have made the case for me. (Please note, this guy is a judge and he calls it a purse.)

Men, your lives are complicated now – you have all kinds of sexy little gadgets and your pockets are just not meant to hold them all. Just think of it: wallets, keys, cell phones, PDAs, MP3 players, maybe a little digital camera, a book, your lunch, some gym clothes? It’s too much.

Your pockets can’t take that level of abuse. And your wives and girlfriends will not carry your crap for you anymore.

Deeps and I don’t live that far from Harvard Square. It’s a nice walk to the square – we do it pretty regularly. My husband suggests we browse a bookstore or the little comic shop he likes or the giant CD place. And then he starts buying stuff. He’s a shopper, that one.

In the beginning, I didn’t mind. I had a little messenger bag I carried with my wallet and phone and left space so that if I bought something I could carry it home easily. My husband just started handing me his stuff and asking if I could carry it.

I remember my stepfather was always handing my Mom his wallet to carry in her purse.

I put an end to that behavior immediately.

“You need a man bag,” I told him.
Of course, as men are threatened by purses and their power – the fear of a tampon bomb or some other dastardly girl device is great. He balked at my suggestion.
“I’ll never use it,” he said.
“Whatever,” I rolled my eyes so hard I nearly passed out.

A few weeks later we were browsing through a store and I pointed out a small Timbuk2 messenger bag to him. I’ve been a fan of their bags for many years – they’re incredibly durable, perfectly suited for my daily commuting needs, and are waterproof and relatively stylish. I showed deeps the cool little key ring fob and he was finally convinced.

So now he has a small man bag and the change has been miraculous. First, he calls it a man bag. Second, he insists on packing it before we go anywhere during the weekend. He carries a book or a magazine, his wallet, his keys, the slick little digital camera I gave him for Christmas, and anything else his heart desires. Plus he’s got room to carry anything he buys for himself. And let me tell you – he buys stuff for himself often.

Men – do not fear the man bag. It is your friend and you can carry it while being totally secure in your masculinity. Plus you don’t have any weird bulges in your pants – because that’s just not cool.

By: Alyssa | at Thursday, January 13, 2005 | |

In a word: Nerd

Once again the annual Nerd Festival will commence this weekend. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am married to a nerd.

He’s a research scientist. But he keeps a lot of his nerdy habits to himself. For the most part he seems smart and respectable and clean and funny. My friends attributed the clean part to the married status. I’m not convinced. Regardless, he is what he is and I love him anyway. This is like sports for him - an excuse to catch up with old friends and flex his mad nerd skillz.

I am not really a nerd. I’m more of a loser or what some in high school might call a burn out. Oh my God, am I old.

Back the Nerd Festival. There’s a big wingding at MIT (Nerd Mecca) over the MLK holiday weekend. People fly in and drive in. The Nerds arrive and take over – well that part is hard to tell given that we live in Cambridge – but they arrive and wreak havoc in their nerdly way until sometime on Sunday.

I’m not really sure what they do – but I do know it involves the following things:
Cheetos
Not sleeping
Yelling
Greasy pizza
Not showering
Wearing the same clothes for 2-3 days
More yelling
Writing stuff down
Computers
Coffee

The following topics may come up:
Tron
Tekken
Lord of the Rings
Star Wars
Star Trek
Marvel vs. DC
The Black Hole
How much everyone else sucks

In the end, they play games and solve puzzles and win no prizes. It’s like a long British game show. If you win you have to run the Nerd Festival next year

I will be a Nerd Festival widow as my husband always says he’s just going to hang out for a few hours and come home. I don’t usually see him until late on Sunday when I get a call to join them for lunch. If I’m lucky – because usually there are no girls involved with the Nerd festival. Because based on the list above, it’s not something girls want to be around

He’s been staying up for the past week or two “training” for the Nerd Festival since he has a job and usually sleeps at normal hours. Not all the Nerds have normal jobs – many are doing post-doctoral things and other nerdly endeavors and don’t sleep. He’s training to keep up with them.

I can’t believe I typed that.

So in honor of my Nerd Festival widow status, I am hosting girl poker – where we will talk about the smelly boys that are not with us and enjoy the delights of champagne mixed with peach nectar.

Last night Deeps asked me what I’d be doing this weekend.

Me: Let’s see. I’m really looking forward to the alone time. I have big plans.
Deeps: Like what?
Me: I’m going to lie around in my underwear and watch bad TV and eat Ding Dongs.
Deeps: So how is that different from any other weekend?
Me: I usually don’t have the Ding Dongs.

Labels: 2005, nerds

By: Alyssa | Wednesday, January 12, 2005 at Wednesday, January 12, 2005 | |

Nanny 911

I haven’t seen the show but sometimes there are promos on during The OC or Arrested Development.

The show looks horrifying – especially if you have bad kids or are a bad parent. Maybe you’re not – but you’re going to look like you are on national television. Anyway, the show has only slightly made any dent on my tv consciousness.

Until Saturday. While I lured my husband to the mall under the guise of getting emergency snowstorm supplies I wandered past the food court and noticed a myriad of tables set up and large banners proclaiming the “Nanny 911 Casting Call”. Some parents were lined up with children.

Deeps: I really expected more screaming and crying.
Me: Yeah – it’s really disappointing that the Cambridge children were so well behaved.
Deeps: Did you see how decked out the parents were?
Me: They are going to be on TV, I’m sure they’re dolled up.
Deeps: I saw ponchos combined with Uggs.
Me: Well then those people deserve everything they get.

By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, January 12, 2005 | |

Where are the lentils?

My favorite Middle Eastern restaurant is just north of Chicago. They make this fantastic lentil soup that is blended until smooth. They use golden lentils and it’s just this side of heaven. Delicious.

Obviously, I don’t get to have my favorite lentil soup from my favorite Middle Eastern restaurant because I’m in Boston now. So I thought I’d try to recreate said soup.

I did a little research on the Interweb and I found some sweet recipes. I felt armed and last night I trooped to the grocery store (my least favorite place on earth besides my gynecologist’s office) in search for the ingredients.

I could not find a lentil anywhere.

I searched high and low. I went up and down every aisle and looked very closely at each item on the shelf. Nothing. I went to the ethnic food aisle. I went to the dried beans aisle. I went to the organic aisle. There was not a lentil to be found. I probably spent an extra 25 minutes in the store as my produce wilted and my frozen peas thawed looking for those stupid lentils.

I did find many Matzo ball options – but I wasn’t in the mood. I just wanted a freaking lentil.

But there’s no soup for you.

By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, January 12, 2005 | |

Petty cruelties

I think anyone who works in an office has to suffer some form of small indignity on a daily basis.

Perhaps someone did not refill the coffee pot after taking the last cup. Or someone didn’t flush properly. Or they talk too loud on the phone.

Yesterday was a rough day for me on the small indignities front. I arrived at work bright and early, feeling good about life. I walked into the office and thought, yeesh – it’s pretty warm in here.

But I suspected that might be me – I’d been on a stuffy train with my winter coat. It was bound to be warm. But an hour later I was mopping sweat off my brow. I stood up and looked around at my co-workers. The natives were restless.

We found a thermostat – the temp in the office was hovering around 83 degrees. I thought it was hot last week but dismissed my concerns, attributing it to the residual effects of the flu that ate Boston. Clearly I was mistaken.

Calls were made, adjustments were made and eventually – 6 hours later – the temperature started to move into the realm of more office appropriate (not so much sub-tropical).

In the midst of this two other small affronts were perpetrated.

Someone decided to microwave a container of fish – I suspect sardines.

And a large moving truck was parked outside of the window we had opened for a bit of cool air. The moving truck idled for a while, as diesel fumes wafted up and into the office.

I’ll tell you this, there’s nothing like the smell of hot fish, sweaty office workers and diesel fumes in the morning. It smells like victory.

By: Alyssa | Tuesday, January 11, 2005 at Tuesday, January 11, 2005 | |

Very Important People

A few weeks ago Deeps told me that he has to go to Albuquerque for a conference of some sort. He applied for funding for something – or approval, I’m a little fuzzy on the details – and he has to make a presentation at the conference.

He’s been sweating the details on this presentation for a few weeks. Last night when he came home he informed me that he would be “working” in the office and I was not to “disturb” him if at all possible.

“Is that cool?” he asked.
“Yep, that’s fine with me,” I replied.
“I’m practicing the presentation, so you’ll hear me talking,” he said. He pulled out a small white box from the bakery down the street. “And I got these cookies to help me concentrate.”
“I see,” I said.
“I need to focus on what I’m doing – so I probably won’t see you for a few hours. But you should tell me when the Daily Show starts,” he added.
“Okay.”
“And you may hear the sounds of music or maybe Qbert coming from the office. That’s all part of the work process. Nothing to be concerned about.”

By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, January 11, 2005 | |

Always be prepared

I do not like to blog about the weather because it is boring.

However, I would like to share how I prepared for a snowstorm recently. We were scheduled to get a lot of snow and some ice and some sleet and some rain and some other bad stuff on Saturday. We heard about it all week and by Friday night the snowfall amounts were ranged from 4-8 inches of snow. Not ungodly amounts, but enough to make digging out the car a pain.

On Saturday morning we woke up (late) to see it had not started snowing yet. I mentioned that I had some errands to do as I’ve been out of commission for a couple weeks with the worlds longest running cold. Deeps suggested we run said errands on Sunday.

“But I need stuff before the storm,” I whined. “It’s important.”
“Fine,” he agreed. “But only because it is important.”

Deeps clearly thought I meant things like bread and milk and food. I meant cough syrup, mascara, some crappy paperbacks and copies of US Weekly.

By: Alyssa | Monday, January 10, 2005 at Monday, January 10, 2005 | |

Breaking News: The big split

I hardly know where to begin. I can only hope that People Magazine and Us Weekly will be able to guide me and the rest of the country through this horrible crisis.

It’s a national tragedy, really. I mean, think about it: Brad and Jen are over. It’s the biggest break up since Tom and Nicole. Katie Couric told me so.

What do we tell the kids?

I missed the signs earlier in the weekend because we were having a snow day on Saturday and it was also Elvis Presley’s birthday – which is something of a holiday around our house. I didn’t prepare for the birthday properly in that I was not able to obtain a copy of Change of Habit to watch. But I did watch some of his other fine work. I still think Change of Habit stands out as his best work – you should rent it and watch the end of the movie and tell me if I’m wrong. I dare you!

I think the important lesson here is that when you marry someone you need to get the whole baby thing clear up front. If you want them you should marry someone who also wants babies. If you marry someone who wants babies but you do not – well there’s going to be problems. Especially if you are a dude who doesn’t want babies. No offenses to the dudes, but you’re not all trustworthy on this front. How are you going to stop a woman from getting pregnant?

If you were good at this kind of thing there wouldn’t be 17-year-old single moms. Can I get an amen.

Wow, I had no idea this entry would cover so many important issues facing our country today.

By: Alyssa | at Monday, January 10, 2005 | |

The more you know

Deeps and I are making a list of things we want in a house and a list of things we’d like to have. It’s fun making lists like this because you really start to see what kinds of things you think will make your living space better – I’m in favor of more closets. Deeps is all about the right laundry set up.

My friend Lucky bought a new place not long ago – he was telling me about it in great detail.

Apparently the place, in Chicago, is huge – about twice as large as his old house. He said his new place has almost 4000 square feet, which is huge – especially when you consider that he lives alone with a dog.

Me: So what are you going to do with all that space?
Lucky: I don’t know yet.
Me: Are you going to have an office?
Lucky: Probably.
Me: Are you going to have some kids or something?
Lucky: No.
Me: Does the dog get his own room?
Lucky: Maybe.
Me: What about a library?
Lucky: I could.
Me: A game room?
Lucky: A possibility.
Me: A secret laboratory?
Lucky: Um.
Me: A vomitorium?
Lucky: Eww.
Me: A room where you dog can poop indoors?
Lucky: I….
Me: A dungeon?
Lucky: You’re a very odd person.
Me: You may be on to something.

By: Alyssa | Friday, January 07, 2005 at Friday, January 07, 2005 | |

Drive Time

Me: What’s the plan?
Deeps: It’s too bad we have to go to work.
Me: I know.
Deeps: I figure I’ll leave a little early since it’s going to be scary this afternoon.
Me: That sounds okay.
Deeps: Did you notice all that water by the steps?
Me: Yeah – I think it’s the sump pump. It’s icky.
Deeps: And that will be nice and deadly when we come home.
Me: I can only hope. Did you notice any squirrels on the roof?
Deeps: No – I can’t bear to look. It’s so sad.
Me: I didn’t hear them – so maybe they’re starting to figure it out.
Deeps: I think I saw one yesterday but it wasn’t really moving or anything.
Me: Eww.
Deeps: I know.
Me: Did you hear the squirrels last night? I heard them massing outside – they’re totally plotting something.
Deeps: It wasn’t squirrels. You were probably dreaming.
Me: I’m sure it was squirrels banging their little squirrel fists and pitchforks against the house.
Deeps: Oh the banging was the radiator.
Me: Oh. So there’s no squirrel revolution?
Deeps: I don’t think your squirrel overlords are coming for you anytime soon.
Me: Hmm… must be the cold medicine.
Deeps: Yeah – so how are you feeling?
Me: My nose runneth over.
Deeps: That’s gross.

By: Alyssa | Thursday, January 06, 2005 at Thursday, January 06, 2005 | |

Tying the Knot

My friend EK is getting hitched this spring. If all goes well we’ll be attending her fancy wedding in beautiful Italy.

We’ve been talking regularly about wedding plans – she’s asked me a lot of questions about my experiences (as I am the speaker for Married People as a group). I answered her questions and then broached the topic that I thought might be on her mind.

You need to have the coming out party – you need to drag out all of your dirty laundry and lay it out for your partner to see. Your dirty laundry being – judgments against you, your gross debts, your inability to save, your insane need for a new toothbrush every week, whatever. You need to open up fully and completely.

I think that a generation ago most people felt that the scariest conversation to have with your potential spouse was about sex. But since we’re allegedly more sexually open and Katie Couric is talking about “hooking up” on morning television – it’s become apparent that money and personal finances is the new sex.

I think the saddest and sickest I ever felt was when I had to break down my level of debt to Deeps. It was not pretty. I got a credit card before I got my dorm key when I graduated from high school and things just spiraled out of control from there. Ultimately, I learned about fiscal responsibility the hard way – but by that time a lot of damage had been done.

“I have to tell,” I wailed. “I owe a lot of money to MasterCard and Visa.”

We sat with all kinds of papers spread out before us on the kitchen table. Most of the papers were mine. He held a savings book and a credit card statement.

I thought for sure he’d break up with me or yell or both. In my family there was always a tremendous amount of yelling over money. As far as I know there still is. We never talked about it really – it was just you had it or you didn’t.

“I want you to know that I feel terrible about what I’ve done,” I intoned solemnly. “I have lived beyond my means.” I actually cried from shame.

Deeps looked at me and asked how much I owed. I told him a number that would have gotten me a very nice new car. He did not faint or die or even make a face.

"You know - I don't really know anything about money," he said. "Except how to spend it."

Right then I knew we'd be okay. Neither of us knew what we were doing and I realized that I'd had this demented idea about men and women and money - I probably learned it from TV (how many times did Lucy scheme to buy a stupid dress).

I was promptly designated the one who would learn about money. Deeps didn't have any to speak of, as he was a graduate student - and I had a job that didn't pay that well. But it paid better than a grad student - so I went to work. I read. I learned. I had a few eye-opening experiences (including being laid off for 6 months). And in the end, I learned about money the hard way. Now we're saving and planning and in better shape that I might have ever imagined.

I mentioned this to my friend and she laughed. "We had the money talk a couple of years ago when I moved in," she said. She was in a similar situation - she had a lot of debt, while her partner did not. "He said it would be okay and that he accepted me with an open heart and an open wallet."

And that my friends is how you make marriage and money work.

By: Alyssa | Wednesday, January 05, 2005 at Wednesday, January 05, 2005 | |

Live Nude Squirrels

I thought nothing of it at the time.

As we left the house yesterday we ran into our landlady – a petite woman of indeterminate age (approximately 700) – who informed us that there was a “squirrel problem”.

A couple of men were leaning long ladders against the house and preparing to climb to the roof. Landlady said she called in the pros to capture some squirrels because said critters were clogging up the gutters and going crazy on the roof. I’m guessing they bug her a lot because she lives on the second floor. We have had no problems.

We laughed and said okay and hurried to the car.

This morning as we departed, I heard an unusual scratching noise. Then a kind of chirping sound.

I looked up to see three live traps on the roof of the house – two of them were occupied with gray squirrels.

“Holy crap,” Deeps exclaimed when he looked up. “I guess there was a squirrel problem.”

Two fat squirrels nibbled on bananas while rattling their cages. They looked really mad.

“You know what this means,” I said, walking to the car. “It means that tonight the squirrels will gather together with their squirrel brothers – they’ll have little pitchforks and torches. And they’ll demand retribution for the squirrel captures.”

Deeps made a face as he unlocked the car.

“And I’ll give the squirrels whatever they want – I’m not afraid to hand over the old lady. I had nothing to do with this,” I said. “I’ll do whatever those squirrels want.”

Deeps laughed and patted my knee as he pulled the car away from the curb. “You might want to keep your squirrel allegiances to yourself.”

By: Alyssa | Tuesday, January 04, 2005 at Tuesday, January 04, 2005 | |

Duly noted

“How are you feeling?” Deeps asked me about a half hour after stumbling out of bed. I was brushing my teeth.

“I’m not worse,” I said. “But I don’t really feel better – I just can’t shake this last bit.”

He shook his head and sighed. “You know, the cat and I are really tired of your drama. You need to get over this.”

I’m working on it. Even a patient man has his limits.

By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, January 04, 2005 | |

Things to do in 2005

It’s not really a resolution if it’s more like a plan. This is how I rationalize it.

1. Buy a house or condo.
We took a first time buyer’s class in December. The goal is simple now – own a place and escape the clutches of crazy and misguided landlords. Also, I’m itching to paint.

2. Go to fancy destination wedding in Italy.
Our friends got engaged a few months ago and started wedding planning immediately. They’ve very fun, casual people who are incredibly adventurous. They quickly figured out that for the cost of 4 hours at some place in LA they could rent a villa for friends and family in Florence for like 3 or 4 days. So they opted to do a fun destination wedding. The only downside is that the wedding will be happening around the same time we should be making offers for a house/condo.

The special bonus will be that I can meet my friend’s exciting Hollywood friends including HGTV’s own Designed to Sell Real Estate Agents Shannon and Donna Freeman! I have already requested to sit at their table.

And Italy is awesome – I can eat my way across the countryside.

3. Trick Cuddles with several well-timed phone calls related to a surprise pregnancy.
I don’t do this nearly enough and I think Cuddles is the easiest mark – plus she’s really tough (hence the term Cuddles, it’s ironic!) and she won’t cry when I tell her it’s a joke. Also, she has big, dramatic reactions if you time the call during the O’Reilly Factor.

4. Become totally free of all credit card debt.
I think I’m like 3 months away from making this happen. I’ll still be carrying some sweet student loans, but as my father likes to remind me – that’s an investment in my future. There’s no upside to having 21% APR from Citibank. Anyway, I’m dangerously close to making it happen and my friends who are all up to their eyeballs in credit card bills are jealous. It only took 4 years.

5. Teach the cat English.
I’ve been trying to teach Deeps how to cook and I think I’ve been taking the wrong approach. Instead, I’m going to try to teach Poopus how to speak English. I think I have a better shot at being successful...

By: Alyssa | Monday, January 03, 2005 at Monday, January 03, 2005 | |

Back to work

Today was my first day back in the office. I’ve been gone for a little over a week – mostly down with The Plague.

You’d think I had cancer or something the way I talk about it.

I’m like 70% healthy. I still sound kind of bad and am prone to long, gross coughing fits. And my nose is simultaneously stuffy and drippy – but otherwise, I’m dandy. Also – I look like an extra from Shaun of the Dead.

But I’m MUCH better.

Thanks for asking.

No one did.

I guess no one noticed I was out. Which was fine with me. Because I also managed to dress myself in a shirt that had a stain on it – I wore it with pride for the whole day. And I was very sweaty – like end of a bad flu, getting it out of your system, clammy.

At one point I smelled something weird, like a microwave burrito and I quietly prayed that the smell was not from me. Seems unlikely, but as I am not smelling anything correctly at the moment it’s hard to say.

I also answered the phone several times, trying to disguise my scary man voice. I was also glad I brought my own Puffs with lotion because the office tissues are scratchy. Thankfully, many other people in the office were sick – I think tomorrow will be some sort of cold medicine exchange program where we all bring our favorite over the counter drugs and swap.

By: Alyssa | at Monday, January 03, 2005 | |

Fever

Oh my God have I been sick.

Whew.

I’m just now coming out of the cold medicine haze that I have been in since Monday. Yes, last freaking year. A week ago. Ye Gods was I sick.

I would like to write about Christmas and the adventures but honestly, I’m drawing a blank right now. My brain is still kind of foggy and my head is still stuffy. I am happy to report that I used up two “family-size” boxes of Puffs Plus with Lotion in two days.

The good thing about having some god-awful plague-like illness for the week following the holidays is that you totally miss out on the post-Christmas depression. I hardly knew ye. Perhaps I will pencil that in again for next year.

I also got to enjoy the last hour of a lot of questionable television this week. I watched too many hours of Spongebob and Cops and Animal Precinct and all manner of monster movie. Including back-to-back appearances by Randy Quaid as a sheriff and a demented doctor. Good stuff.

I also watched a fine film about a man who enters a contest to become the lead singer of a boy band only to arrive at a remote island and discover said band is actually a group of undead zombie guys from the 50s. I cannot make this up. I’m pretty sure I didn’t make it up.

I hadn’t seen the sun until yesterday when I ventured outside to visit a friend for a few hours. I think it might have been too soon – I sported a clean pair of gym pants and a ratty pony tail. I don’t think any of these people had ever seen me look so stunning. Luckily, they were really hung over.

No one would sit by me for a long time. I just sat there, clutching my tissues and drinking ginger ale and listening to them talk in normal voices. I still sound like a cross between Harvey Fierstein and Kathleen Turner.

But I’m much better and I’ll probably make it back to work tomorrow. I never thought I’d be looking forward to returning to the old office space, but I’ve been stuck in this house for a week and while I enjoy the company of the couch and my television – I think I need to get out a little.

I heard there are some wicked after Christmas sales that I’m missing out on.

Labels: health

By: Alyssa | Sunday, January 02, 2005 at Sunday, January 02, 2005 | |