Tape Gun
We hit the UHaul store to pick up some moving supplies. I still have all the boxes from when we moved 9 months ago because I totally knew this was going to happen.

How many times do I have to tell you, I’m a planner.

So I have paper, I have color-coded moving tape and I have a new tape gun. My most favorite thing is to yell “TAPE GUN!” and wait for Deeps to show up to tape up a box. Then I pack away. Sometimes he’s standing right next to me and I yell anyway. Because it is hilarious.

I crack myself up. Jesus, I have no life anymore.

By: Alyssa | Saturday, April 30, 2005 at Saturday, April 30, 2005 | |   

But where is the bathroom?
I’m somewhat suspicious of one of the phrasebooks I bought in preparation for the trip to Italy. It is chock full of very formal Italian phrases. It’s like they’re trying to teach me – what I’ll call – impractical Italian.

I need to know food, where to find the loo, maybe some rough directions, and then the ever popular “Do you speak English?” I’ll even take French. It is not practical to teach me something like, “May please present to you the esteemed and beloved blah-dy-blah.” That’s what one of these books focuses on. Also – I only know how to say I’m a 32-year-old teacher from New York. See, this book is teaching me to lie.

Lie!

My brain is automatically reacting to the Italian in a negative way – it is combating Italian with French. I listen to the CD, I hear the English phrase – I automatically translate to French. Then the Italian comes up and my brain goes “What? You don’t know that.”

So despite that one night I did dream in Italian, I’m not having a lot of luck. I mentioned this to a colleague who lived in Italian for a while. I asked him if he had a preferred phrase book. He suggested I try to learn to conjugate some words. I’m only there for four days. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

I politely thanked him and ran to the nearest bookstore and bought three kinds of phrasebooks. I figure that way I’ll be covered. I’d hate to have to do the potty dance in Florence. That would just not be cool.

By: Alyssa | Friday, April 29, 2005 at Friday, April 29, 2005 | |   

These pants cannot catch a break
I just dropped my smoothie while walking home from dinner. The plastic cup broke and smoothie splattered all over my pants. Which were the pants rescued from the horror of curry stains just days earlier.

Poor pants.

By: Alyssa | Thursday, April 28, 2005 at Thursday, April 28, 2005 | |   

Now I’m off the Christmas card list
I talked to Cuddles a few weeks ago – she and I chatted about the kids and the kid-in-process. Or as I call him - #3.

She told me she was having a boy and I asked about the name. She told me the name. I laughed. Really, really hard and then asked, “What kind of name is that?”

She was a bit indignant, as was (and still is) her right, “It’s a family name.”

I paused a moment. “But I’m in your family.”

Cuddles – you cannot trick me.

By: Alyssa | Wednesday, April 27, 2005 at Wednesday, April 27, 2005 | |   

As seen on TV
I was doing a little research about the town we’re moving to and I found out they have Town Meetings. Direct democracy at its finest.

I got all excited and told Deeps. He didn’t see the appeal.

“But it’s just like you know, on TV,” I said.
“Didn’t you used to cover town meetings when you were a reporter?” he asked. “You know what they’re like.”
“Yeah – but I’m hoping these will be different,” I replied. “More like what you see on Gilmore Girls.”

By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, April 27, 2005 | |   

Bottom of the Barrel
When your name is Professor Murder and you squee with joy and piddle a little on the rug when you meet new people, you’re not really that tough.

Also – when you run from a plastic chew toy because it makes a squeaky noise – you are really, really not tough.

Way to be a bull dog. Still you’re cute. And like all dogs and children – were totally fascinated by my husband. FYI – you can’t win him over with cuteness. He’s too strong for that. Cheese, however, is a different story.

By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, April 27, 2005 | |   

I’m almost out of fresh material
But I did have one - uhm – adventure on Sunday.

We met CC and The French Connection for dinner to celebrate CC’s birthday. He’s turning 600 – that’s a milestone event marked by Indian dinners.

For some reason I ended up ordering for everyone: some chicken, some eggplant, a little malai kofta and some mutter paneer. Mmm…. Paneer.

Dinner was great – we chatted and caught up. Then CC reached for some more curry – I think it was the mutter pannier – when tragedy struck. The bowl sort of slipped out his hands. It hit the table, bounced and splattered me wholly and completely with curry.

It was everywhere: sweater was covered, splattered my face and neck and I think I might have had some in my hair.

There was a short – very, very short – moment of horror. And then I started to laugh. And laugh. Sometime during the laughing the swarm of Indian waiter-ninjas appeared with dozens of white napkins. Meanwhile Deeps sat there totally stunned while The French Connection launched into an angry French diatribe about her clumsy husband. The poor man looked mortified. I laughed harder.

I realized I need to go wipe down and wash up – at least as much as possible. I saw myself in the mirror – curry smudged on my cheek and neck. My lavender sweater was mostly orange – and I laughed some more. Because crap like this only happens to me. And if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times – when you go out with CC and The French Connection hilarity will ensue.

I found some curry on my coat and scarf by the time we got home – so those will probably make it out after a trip the drycleaner. Sadly, purple sweater didn’t make it. But sometimes there’s a price to be paid for comedy.

Fashion is easy; comedy is hard.

By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, April 27, 2005 | |   

We have achieved house
The P&S took longer to resolve than we thought – but on Sunday morning we called our broker.

“Do we have it?” I asked anxiously. “Otherwise I’m going to open houses. I must devise Plan B.”
My agent told me to get out of the clock tower.
“Let me check the fax, hang on,” he said. A few seconds later he came on the phone. “It’s signed. We’re going to close on this place at the end of May.”

Deeps and I had the speaker phone on and yelped with glee, probably causing ear damage for our agent. I even got a little misty - I didn't realize how much we'd been holding back on being really, really excited.

Later Deeps said he was only 85% excited because he wanted the paperwork in hand. I was excited enough to buy a book to organize my house records. Man, when Jasclo is right – she’s right. I’ll be gifting this book to everyone I know buying a home. And I’d like to say nice things about the Black and Decker Complete Photo Guide to Home Repair. Wow. That’s good stuff.

So now we meet with some potential painters – we have 28 x12 ft room to paint along with the master bedroom with the 13 ft. cathedral ceilings. I think I’ve got to leave that to the professionals.

Now for my new checklist – projects for the next 24 months. Hurray!

Labels: house

By: Alyssa | Monday, April 25, 2005 at Monday, April 25, 2005 | |   

I’m not the kind of idiot you think I am
That was the giant note I found on the mirror in the bathroom. I was puzzled, since I didn’t recall leaving it there.

Deeps woke up a few minutes later and wandered towards the loo. I pointed to the sign.

“Is there something you’d like to tell me?”

He smiled, “Yeah. I’m not the kind of idiot you think I am.”
“Okay – so, what does that mean?” I asked.
“I found my passport – the current one, I was looking at the expired one,” he explained.
“Yeah, I figured that out last night,” I said. “I saw your passport on the desk and it was the green one, which I knew was old.”
“So you let me figure it out by myself?” he asked incredulously.
“Yeah – I thought you’d crack the case. How else are you going to learn?”

By: Alyssa | at Monday, April 25, 2005 | |   

Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown
Peepers sent me some new pictures of the twins. They look so different now - but they totally ended up with the Boehm Head. Round. Seriously - we all have that head.
 

By: Alyssa | at Monday, April 25, 2005 | |   

In honor of those who've come before us
I bring you a bit of untold history: The Negro Space Program.

Because things were different back then - in 1957 or 58.

It's all so Planet Dan-like.

By: Alyssa | at Monday, April 25, 2005 | |   

He’s bigger than…
I was just skimming this article about peer-to-peer file sharing and laughed out loud when I hit the last couple of paragraphs.

Beezer said Weed has been most successful so far with cult artists like Sananda Maitreya (http://www.sanandapromotion.com), formerly known as Terence Trent D'Arby.

So that’s what happened to him. I heard once that he was bigger than Jesus – or the Beatles. I can’t remember.

By: Alyssa | Sunday, April 24, 2005 at Sunday, April 24, 2005 | |   

I messed up
Today we waited to hear word that the Purchase and Sale agreement that we signed and delivered to the sellers last night was signed and delivered back to us – thus moving us further down the road of home ownership.

We didn’t hear anything, thanks for asking.

While w discussed how nice it would be go “reclaim our life from the house hunt” we recognized a few facts: we may not be done and we’re going to Italy in a few weeks. Deeps is mentally preparing for the former while I’ve been planning for the latter.

Clearly – I wasn’t doing enough planning.

“Do you know if my passport is still valid,” Deeps asked me over lunch.
I was making a mental list of stores to visit as I was on the hunt for a dress. I barely processed his question.
“What? How should I know? I don’t even know where it is,” I replied.
“Hmm…I wonder if it is still valid,” he asked aloud – more to himself than to anyone else.
“Wait – I spent over two grand on a trip to Italy and you didn’t check your passport yet?” I said tersely as the couple at the next table eyed us.
“Uhm – well. No. I’ve been very focused on the house hunt,” he stated simply.
“But we leave in like 3 weeks!”
“I know – I messed up,” he said with a simple shrug.

Since we were not at home, we couldn’t do anything about the situation. I moved ahead with a swift assault on the various and sundry dress departments at several major department stores. I went home empty handed – but I had a couple of good prospects. But the bigger worry was if I had to go to Italy alone.

Because someone messed up. And now I can report, several hours later – that he indeed messed up. That passport expired a couple of years ago. And now, he’s got to hope and pray and pay for expedited service that he gets it back in time. Otherwise, I’m going to Italy by myself – but not before I leave a boot in his ass.

And I still haven’t heard anything from the sellers. Maybe we have a house – but maybe we don’t. Just like any other weekend in April.

Labels: house

By: Alyssa | at Sunday, April 24, 2005 | |   

But we fight well
I was reading the High Hat Blog the other day and I was kind of – bothered isn’t the right word – but something like that. Okay – we’ll call it bothered. I was bothered because the fine people of HH were ragging on the New York Times. Specifically they were ragging on the times for writing about The Man Date.

I’ll admit – I thought the story was D-U-M, but I like the Times. I think they do a lot of great writing, but when they move into the “softer” news like culture and technology I often grimace. I heart you – NYT, but sometimes you remind me of an aging uncle who is trying to be cool and failing badly.

But I could juxtapose the crappy “social/cultural” story about the man date with the not crappy but quite enjoyable “social/cultural” story about marriage therapy. Now that’s a good story – it makes sense, it has a point, it isn’t ridiculous and it gives you something to think about and chew on.

In fact, it reminded me of a story on This American Life we’d heard in the car just a few weeks earlier – Deeps and I decided we fight alright after listening to it.

I won’t lie – we don’t have huge blow-outs very often. But we argue on a daily basis. It’s the quality that apparently makes the difference. At least, that’s the point of the radio piece and the Times article.

Sidebar: Our last, most spectacular “I am not speaking to you for hours” fight was about – a movie: Los Angeles Plays Itself. What a doozy that one was. Whew!

But back to my point – I guess I have one. I won’t throw the baby out with the bathwater – the Times still has plenty of good stuff, even stuff I don’t agree with. I will continue to roll my eyes when I read a story about how the iPod is rad and Blogging is the new “hot thing”. But when I find a good story I like to email it to Deeps.

Mostly so we can fight about it later.

By: Alyssa | Thursday, April 21, 2005 at Thursday, April 21, 2005 | |   

If you’re going to pace, do it outside
So it’s like after 9 – despite an enjoyably distracting episode of the OC – we're still a bit uhm... anxious. See, we haven’t heard from the lawyers about the finalized purchase and sale (P&S if you want the lingo).

Things were sailing along smoothly, but now – I got bupkis. And Deeps has gone from zero to twitchy. I am on the verge of napping. So once again only one of us is in the clock tower.

I’d hoped we’d get this all squared away and signed for tomorrow morning, but if we have to wait until later tomorrow we can. It would just be less stressful. I just write my name 4 times and sign a big freaking check.

But the lawyers, they’re haggling through some lawyer stuff. I mean - this is important. I recoginize they're working for our benefit. I called the lawyer to explain to me what the H all this stuff was. Seriously – lawyers, please feel free to use some more conventional narrative in your documents. They’d be much more interesting to read.

I understood the gist of most of the articles in the P&S – but I didn’t always understand why you’d want to do this or that. Mr. Lawyer kindly resolved that for me. Deeps asked if I could explain what I learned today. And suddenly it was like Mr. Culbertson’s math class in 8th grade all over again.

I always understood how to do the work when I was in the class – but as soon as I left my special math skills kicked in and I got all stupid. I told Deeps I could try to explain but that it would be easier if we got divorced.

Then I gave him Mr. Lawyer’s number.

So he’s out walking around – what with the freaking out. I was lounging on the couch – literally on the verge of NAP. But he’s so damn twitchy he’s starting to make me twitch. I wasn’t all worried – but should I be?

“How many houses have you looked at since our offer was accepted?” he asked.
“None. Why?”
“I’ve been looking everyday,” he replied. “Just in case.”
“And?”
“It’s not looking good out there,” he said as he threw on a jacket.

So there you have it – the freaking out re-commences. Meanwhile my office move isn’t going as smoothly as I hoped. And I found out I’m going to be surrounded by Math editors. Which is fine, except Math is like my kryptonite, yo.

And what does this have to do with anything? Nothing. Per usual.

By: Alyssa | at Thursday, April 21, 2005 | |   

The great dress hunt
I got married the first time in a lovely black skirt with a sassy white wraparound blouse. I tried desperately to find some kind of nice dress but had NO luck. The second time I got married – for the record, both times I got married to Deeps – I wore two different saris. One was pink. Not a good pink for me either. Oh and I did I mention the dress weighed so much I that I had to wear suspenders underneath the sari blouse to keep the skirt up? Yeah… it’s true.

I have problems with formalwear. I’m a curvy gal that is neither too short nor too tall – I can usually find clothes to fit all parts except one. It isn’t always the same part, but it often is. So I try to get alterations but that can be disastrous. More often than not I’ll just try to make due. This is a woman who hasn’t been able to find well-fitting jeans in like maybe four years.

My last foray in to formalwear was okay – except that I bought a dress that was probably a little too long. But I lived, when you’re wearing a ball gown it isn’t inappropriate to hold your skirts – it’s kind of quaint. But that dress is too large now and I think the cat may be using it as a bed. So I’m on the hunt again.

I usually start by looking online – which I realize is weird, but you get a sense of what a store might carry before you haul out there. Because I hate talking to the salespeople – and I’m going to have to talk to the salespeople. So God help me if I have to talk to them, I’m going to know if they have ANYTHING that I might possibly consider wearing.

I’m also having a hard time deciding what to wear because I don’t have any real suggestions from the bride. And we’ll be in Italy during a warm time of year. I thought cocktail might be a good compromise – but cocktail wear is hideous this season. Let’s be honest – it is hideous every season.

Now I’m leaning towards more traditional gown-like ensembles. I figure it’s better to be overdressed than underdressed – right? You don’t feel so self-conscious. That’s a theory anyway.

So the search is on. This search is much easier to tolerate since the house search is over – officially – tomorrow. Of course at no point during my house hunt did I have to take off my clothes, wear special under garments, nor did I ever ask my real estate agent if the living room makes my butt look too big.

By: Alyssa | at Thursday, April 21, 2005 | |   

Dirty laundry
I’m moving to a different part of the office building at work – so I have to pack up my stuff this week.

I’m not sure when I’ll have time to do that – but whatever. I did start pulling out some personal stuff that I could take home. I don’t take lots of stuff to work: I have one photo and a small pile of books and my gym bag. I know some people really like to personalize their space and bring all kinds of stuff – but after the great lay-off of 2001 – I find I like to travel light.

Besides, we move around the office space enough that it can be a pain to haul extra stuff. The biggest area of accumulation for me is gym clothes. I forget to take the dirty gym clothes home, because I prefer to carry them in a plastic bag to keep their dirty stuff from mixing with the other items in my messenger bag.

But I almost always forget the plastic bag – so I throw clothes in the drawer to take home later. When I remember. So yesterday I opened the drawer – it wasn’t terrible – but I did have about 3 weeks of marinating gym clothes to carry home. I pulled them all out – dirty socks and drawers, t-shirts and gym pants – and threw them into a shopping bag.

That’s when I found the mother load of shoes.

I totally forgot about 3 pairs of shoes I’d stashed in there: a sassy pair of heeled mules, some nice heeled loafers, and some Mary Janes with a stacked heel. You see the trend – heels in the drawer. Because God knows trying to walk around town in the heels will get you a twisted or broken ankle. Plus you’re slower. And I can’t walk for miles in them, like I can something with a flatter sole.

So I’d leave them at work and truck in to the office in my sneakers or some sandals. I would venture to guess most office-working women in America have such a stash in a drawer or under their desk.

And to think just last week I was going to buy some black loafers just like the ones I already had. Oh the shame. So I filled the bag with dirty laundry and shoes. New shoes – in my view.

Which is good I got something new for free – kinda – because I started looking at Deeps’ list of suggested home improvements. I had no idea my beloved had such inventive and expensive ideas. Who taught him such things?

I blame the house porn.

Labels: house

By: Alyssa | Wednesday, April 20, 2005 at Wednesday, April 20, 2005 | |   

Please remove your fist from my eye
I’ve been on a roll for the past week.

I’m not sure what has happened – although I am developing a theory. I’ve been popping my sleeping husband, beloved Deeps, in the eye while he and I are asleep.

I should note that logistically this is harder than it would seem as we have a giant, King-size bed. We inherited our first king bed back many moons ago – someone my mother knew was getting divorced and didn’t want the bed she’d slept in with her soon-to-be-ex husband. So we got it.

It was fine, but lumpy. We replaced it 5 years later with another king bed because that’s what we had.

In the king bed you can sleep miles apart or very close. You have lots of options. I remember one particularly horrid summer when we didn’t have any AC I slept with my head at the foot of the bed so I could get a little breeze at night.

Anyway – to the problem at hand. I’ve been curling to the center to get away from the sunlight. This is my theory. Deeps sleeps very close to the center because he’s all about the middle I guess. He creeps closer. Sometimes he puts part of his head on my pillow.

I’m a mover while I sleep. So I move my hand a little and whap – I give him a pop in the eye. In fairness, we’ve both maimed the other while sleeping. I used to get clotheslined. He would get kicked. It’s not just sleeping – it’s war.

I caught him in the eye twice on the morning of our inspection. Whoops. Luckily, he’s not sporting any shiners – but he’s getting a little ticked off about it.

I built a little wall between us out of a blanket; I kept my offending hand (my right of course) buried. It seems to help, but I wake up constantly thinking I’m going to pop him again.

I think this will be resolved when we move and have better light control in the bedroom. That’s my theory for now…. I’m sticking to it.

Until Deeps has to wear any protective headgear, I guess we’ll have to wait it out.

By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, April 20, 2005 | |   

I’m probably going to need that first aid kit
Em came into town last week for a quick business trip. She arrived just in time for dinner and a flyby of Sephora. I got the woman some decent brushes and gave her some tips on eye shadow.

I’m good like that.

We had lobster – which we always do when she comes to town – and she managed to slice open her fingers on both hands. The woman is a menace with a lobster.

After dinner we stopped by the drugstore to pick up lip balm (for me) and so that I could show her some cheap cosmetics that she might pick up for the wedding since she’ll only wear them one time. While we were browsing around, I pointed out that we could get her the $.99 personal first aid kit, which has like 3 band-aids and some gauze.

She was skeptical at first.
“I am going out with the girls when I get to Chicago,” she said.
“Oh really? A little bachelorette event?” I asked.
“Yeah – so… I might need this,” she said grabbing the box. “Sometimes things get a little rough.”

Indeed.

By: Alyssa | Tuesday, April 19, 2005 at Tuesday, April 19, 2005 | |   

Please come out of the clock tower
I did a little Interweb research last night to figure out – approximately – how much we’ll have to spend if we hire a painter to do the tougher, bigger jobs in the new place.

See – I’m acting like it is mine. Oh it isn’t. But I dream.

Anyway, I filled out a form to get bids. Isn’t the Internet great? I had a problem when in seconds I started getting phone calls and emails – like “we have accepted your job.” Duded – there is no job yet. Painters are desperate for work people.

And I’m only in the “budgeting and planning” stage. Which I told them – explicitly – was the case. Some of these people are nuts. I need them to settle so we can talk like normal people.

I did get Deeps on board with some colors for the first floor and the third floor – I think. He was really pushing for green downstairs – so we found nice greens. I wanted something more watery blue for the bedroom since that should be calming and relaxing. Everyone is happy with color options.

But how much will it cost? That’s the mystery.

By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, April 19, 2005 | |   

On Curling
Right now, we’re watching competitive curling. The ice sport where you carefully push a large stone down an icy path to hit a target area….

That’s a weak explanation, but ESPN has a much better one they use when starting each curling broadcast. Deeps is a huge fan apparently – as of today.

I have no real opinion on this topic except that I just watched the US vs. Sweden for a women’s championship. The Swedes were like the fierce Olympic team and the US team looked like the JV squad. It was sad – and I don’t even know anything about curling.

But I do know the big championships are coming to Massachusetts next spring. Maybe Deeps will get some tickets for his birthday….

By: Alyssa | Monday, April 18, 2005 at Monday, April 18, 2005 | |   

I’m faxing as fast as I can
Today I’m sending approximately 4000 pages of financial documents to my awesome mortgage broker. He’s good – seriously.

He called me last week all atwitter to get me to lock a rate that had dropped like an 1/8th of a point because… I’m not sure what caused the drop. But it dropped. So I got my mortgage locked for like 5/16ths less than I thought. Which is a lot when you’re trying to borrow all the money in the world.

Since we sign the purchase and sale agreement – which is what you sign like 5 weeks before you do the closing – we’re faxing him updated documents. I faxed a bunch of stuff last week, but apparently there are specific rules in the “secondary market” (which is where our loans are coming from) about the documents you send. If your statement is 13 pages long, and you only send the first 2 because they have information and the last 11 have ads for cheap jewelry or something… you have to send all 13. They don’t care that there’s no useful information.

I sent the first two because I was keeping it short and sweet. Whatever – I’m not messing up our loan. So I’m scanning and faxing. We don’t have a standalone fax anymore. We did for years but never used it. During this house process I have faxed at least a dozen times.

To fax from home is convenient, but not always great – like today. I’ve been faxing for about an hour and the fax has a mind of its own. As far as I can tell I’ve faxed the same documents like 10 times each. And they may or may not make any sense upon arrival – so I might have to fax them from work tomorrow.

Oh yeah we have today off today – it is Patriot’s Day – which I believe marks the fleeing of the redcoats from Lexington or something. And the Boston Marathon is run.

But mostly it’s the day I fax 17 million pages of bank statements to my mortgage broker. Because I will not be the one who mucks up the deal. No freaking way.

Labels: house

By: Alyssa | at Monday, April 18, 2005 | |   

I got burned
Today was 80 and I got a little sunburn as we stood in our almost shared backyard chatting with the people who will – hopefully – become our neighbors.

I had all these plans to go hiking around the Fresh Pond Reservoir and doing fun things – but after eating some eggs and dealing with my overly pink face… I kinda went out with more of a whimper than a bang. Deeps understood. Heat makes me tired. Especially when it is so like… unexpected. It was about 39 this morning, so hitting 80 less than 6 hours later is hard.

Plus the comedown of the house hunt has been hard. Sundays don’t have as much purpose as they used to when we’d arise early to exercise, eat, print maps and consult with our agent. I guess we need to go back to doing whatever it was before – I can’t really remember what that was.

Now we know – mostly – where we’re going to be in about 7 weeks. And I’d like to just get to it. But first we have to do a lot of things like: plant the land lady’s garden, pick out frilly clothes for a wedding, and attend the wedding in Florence (Italy – yo!), pack, and move. There’s a lot to do – including sign a bunch of legal documents obligating us to the purchase of the house. But I’d like to skip ahead… to the good part. Like when I get to sleep in the big bed in the master suite.

As I flitted about the house like one of those loons from some Jane Austen novel, Deeps suggested I get out of the house. Perhaps it is pedicure time. After all – the day you crack out the Waterbabies SPF 45 (I am delicate – dammit!) then you probably need to get the dogs in order.

The dogs have had a long rough winter – they need some TLC. I grabbed my latest issue of Premiere and headed off to the Red Persimmon to get a quality $27 pedicure. I don’t know when they charge $2 more than everyone else, but I think it might have to do with the fact you can sit in the massage chair while they give you a pedi and watch Miss Congeniality.

When I came home about 90 minutes later, Deeps had cleaned a good deal of the apartment – including mopping the bathroom and kitchen floors. He’s magical.

If I knew he was going to clean while I was out, I would have done this weeks ago.

By: Alyssa | Sunday, April 17, 2005 at Sunday, April 17, 2005 | |   

I call it early lunatic
We met our new- almost- neighbors. They are very nice.

Until we sign the paperwork on Friday, I’m not going to get too carried away. Okay – I’m totally lying.

I made Deeps stop by Ye Olde Paint Shoppe to look at paint samples. Our almost living/dining room is 28 x 12 – that’s a big honkin’ room. And we’d like to paint it. Okay, we’d like someone else to paint it. Our problem is time and money. We’ll be uh – what do you call that – oh yeah broke. Plus we don’t have tons of time to paint prior to moving in because we’ll be packing and moving out.

So we’re investigating hiring someone to paint the living room and the master bedroom (the other complicated room - it has 13 foot ceilings) before we move in (when it will be easiest for someone to get in and do that). Then we’ll paint other rooms over the coming summer months. That’s the plan.

And all this brings me back to the new neighbors. They’re young, marrieds – like us – and seem excited and interested in doing fun things. Of course, they’re also light on the funds – like us. So I don’t expect any $12,000 backyard improvement projects in our near future. But we did talk about the house a bit and agreed it needed a little something out front.

As my kindly neighbor pointed out – echoing a discussion Deeps and I had just had a few days earlier – the outside of the house doesn’t really match the coolness of the inside. I think a good start might be sprucing up the landscaping and adding some shutters. The house seems like it’s just a bit underdressed.

We’ll probably have to scrape and paint the porch. I did do a little research on the architectural style of the house – which I originally thought was more Queen Anne style, but upon further consideration – I think it’s a Folk Victorian (or as we say in Indiana "standard farmhouse"). I suppose we could do a bit more to enhance the Victorian exterior….

But all that waits for next summer. By the time we move in and get settled – we’ll be deep into our summer. And the last of the inside projects – whatever they may be – will have to be wrapped up.

Of course, none of this is real until Friday. So once again, I’ve gotten carried away with myself.

By: Alyssa | at Sunday, April 17, 2005 | |   

Big day
Not only did we find a house, but I got my first comments spam. Could a girl ask for anymore?

The pictures are pretty limited right now, as you're not allowed to photograph the house when it is filled with the owners' stuff. Which I can totally understand - plus they have a cute kid, so you don't want to make anyone freak out. But here's the picture from the outside. I cropped it so that you can clearly see our half.

What should be our half - if nothing weird happens. I hope nothing weird happens.

But this is us we're talking about. So there's a good chance something weird will happen.

Including the weird comments from Deeps. Just last night he suggested he'd be interested in "taking on a project." Like? Stripping the painted woodwork.

What? The man is maybe going to be a homeowner in 6-7 weeks and he's already got the puttering bug. I'm totally going to buy him a tool belt.

Labels: house

By: Alyssa | Friday, April 15, 2005 at Friday, April 15, 2005 | |   

It’s like half a house
Someone finally accepted an offer. From us.

Oh yes. Happy day. Actually – that day was Monday. I know – I’ve been sitting on important information Internet. But if it is any consolation, you’re finding out mere hours after our family.

Today we had the inspection. I think we might actually buy a house (okay, technically half a house. But still).

What I hoped would happen on Monday didn’t. I thought we’d be on some cool walk or something - like on TV - when the call came. But I was about to get on the T and I took the call – I thought it was Deeps. It was our agent. The news was anti-climactic in a way. Sure, it was further than we’ve come in the past. But we still had to make it through the inspection which was a big hurdle. No one was getting overly excited.

But after two hours today with a very delightful inspector – I would say the hurdle was more of a speed bump. We’ll ask for a few fixes, I’ll hope they get made and then we move forward to the next step – handing over all our money forever and ever. And then we’ll pack a little for that Italian trip.

If all works out as planned – we won’t have to buy each other wedding anniversary gifts this year. We’ll be walking into our new house.

Labels: house

By: Alyssa | Thursday, April 14, 2005 at Thursday, April 14, 2005 | |   

Oh yeah…
My mother – the queen of eBay – yeah she’s got her own Web site now.

It was only a matter of time. So if you’d like to buy any nice antiques from her, you can visit her site.

By: Alyssa | at Thursday, April 14, 2005 | |   

He is calling you dude
It is weird – but Deeps and I call each other dude.

Sure, we call each other a lot of things – but dude is probably the weirder one. Especially because I’m not a dude. But I totally answer to it. And if there was going to be an actual dude in the house – I think it’d have to be me.

We went on a trek through a house a couple of weeks ago – during what I will call “the dark days for Deeps” – and we had almost a whole conversation in “dude.”

Basically, I was trying to get him to acknowledge that a house had potential – he was trying to not do that – I was scolding him. I think we used “dude” because we were going through a lot of stuff: we were hostile, frustrated, encouraged, excited, and freaked out all at once. We’ve been together long enough to understand the intricacies and subtleties of “dude.”

Our real estate agent was very, very confused. She said nothing about it – because she’s cool like that.

By: Alyssa | at Thursday, April 14, 2005 | |   

My favorite story
Deeps' family is from India. They came here in the early 70s and Deeps was born in Queens. He’s been back to India a few times for visits.

The man can tell a great story. My favorite stories are from the trip he made when he was about 10 or so.

I’m sharing the very best of those stories.

Deeps and his aunt, uncle and cousin were making a visit to a local temple to pay their respects. As they climbed a hill towards the temple a beggar woman watched them – large baboons surrounded her.

The aunt and uncle warned the kids to stay away from the baboons – which according to Deeps could look him in the eye. They were very large. Baboons are big, strong and can be dangerous.

The kids minded and as they made their way back to the car – they found themselves in what my Nana would call – a pickle. The beggar woman sic'd the baboons on Deeps and his family.

She demanded payment. Apparently the baboons were her enforcers and hell hath no fury like a ticked off monkey.

Deeps’ uncle handed over some cash – a donation, if you will – and the baboons headed back to the old woman for their treat. She fed them, thus earning their simian loyalty.

The family made it back to the car, intact with a great story to tell: Monkeys mugged my husband.

I was reminded of this when I was reading Fancy’s tale about the Unfortunate Incident with the Elephant in the Nighttime. Seems that man can find himself some trouble – I can’t wait for his next installment.

By: Alyssa | Wednesday, April 13, 2005 at Wednesday, April 13, 2005 | |   

Dirk Benedict Reads
I think this week is National Library week – or so the Interweb has told me. Did you know that Dirk Benedict is even still alive? Oh Face – where are you now? Oh – I see you’re on cruises and clearly moisturizing. Good for you.

Like the famous, I’m reading too. I just finished Alice Thompson’s Justine – which is a lot like a cross between “Turn of the Screw,” “Justine,” and maybe “Joe College.” Complicated I know – but very fast and somewhat interesting.

I also blew through Lonely Planet’s Florence Condensed City Guide. I have to think about the future – a future where I go on vacation next month and don’t know where I’m going or what I’m doing. Except I do know how to work the “May I present….” phraseology in Italian.

Sadly, I expect that I’ll never, ever use that. I also know how to say – bathroom? – very inquisitively. That I should use about 1400 times a day (I drink a lot of water).

Next up on the reading list I’m attacking a small pile of books I found at the bottom of my bookshelf. Turns out I ordered several from the ‘zon and haven’t read them yet. It’s like when you find money in your pocket when you’re sorting your laundry. Score!

By the way, slow readers – and apparently slow drinkers – I’m starting on #24, Five Mile House.

By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, April 13, 2005 | |   

Men are complicated
I saw this story in the New York Times about the Man Date.

First the man bag and now this. Do I need to spell out the benefits of hanging out with your friends and having adult and semi-adult conversations?

You men are smart. You’ll figure it out.

By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, April 13, 2005 | |   

Yeah, but what do I wear?
Emily is coming to town tomorrow. She’s getting married next month – in Italy – and we’re going out for dinner and to hit the Sephora.

She did have the unfortunate incident in Beverly Hills, so I thought I’d help her out a little by offering backup.

I got a call from her yesterday asking about my schedule (she’s here for work) and to find out what she should wear.

Me: Well, it was really nice this weekend. It was in the 70s.
Em: Cool – so I can bring my sandals.
Me: Not really. The temperature has dropped a lot.
Em: Oh yeah?
Me: I think we might hit about 40 today. When are you coming again?
Em: Wednesday afternoon.
Me: Ah – okay – so it should be kind of rainy and overcast and chilly. Like maybe 50 and there’ll be a breeze. So plan for 40.
Em: So I can’t wear open toed shoes?
Me: Do you need me to bring you a hat?
Em: I guess I can bring a sweater.

I like that she’s asking me about what to wear in Boston because I’ve been trying to pin her down on what I should wear to the wedding. She says comfortable – but I don’t think she wants me to show up in my yoga pants. So what do I wear?

Me: And so how’s the Tro doing with all this?
Em: He’s doing okay. He’s made peace with the fact his parents can’t be there.
Me: Oh yeah?
Em: Yeah - he had a hard time picturing them there.
Me: Has he been able to picture me there?
Em: Of course!
Me: Can you ask him what I’m wearing?

By: Alyssa | Tuesday, April 12, 2005 at Tuesday, April 12, 2005 | |   

He can’t be happy about that
The Columbia Journalism Review wrote some very funny stuff about the coverage of the Pope’s death. Primarily – there was a lot of weird, vague and tasteless coverage.

The folks at CJR dubbed it the MIPSY – the most inane Pope story.

[via Eric Zorn]

By: Alyssa | Monday, April 11, 2005 at Monday, April 11, 2005 | |   

Topics
Sometimes when you’ve been together for a long time, you run out of stuff to talk about.

Deeps and I have been living together since 1997 and dating for a while before that. So we still have stuff to talk about.

We’ve talked a lot about housing – obviously – but sometimes one of us will tell the other that we have to take a break on that topic. So we talk about other stuff like: Our friend’s house hunt, television, movies, books, the library, public transportation, politics, a funny thing we read on the Interweb, and then random topics like – art theft.

Over lunch yesterday we had a very long and animated conversation about art theft and art heists – and how one fences high profile pieces, and what constitutes fraud and theft. It all came from my observation that I’d seen somewhere that art theft was a huge international crime – that is like a billion dollar a year industry. And it trails behind arms dealing and drug dealing as big crime business.

I’m not sure we came to any conclusions, but we did both agree that most high-profile thefts – like the Scream – are probably commissioned robberies. Because you probably can’t sell it on eBay and why go to the trouble of stealing something like that if you can’t fence it quickly. Of course, there’s also a profit to be gained by ransoming back a work. But that doesn’t seem as sexy does it?

We have weird conversations for marrieds. I’m glad that we still talk about the mundane and the absurd.

Then we talked about swearing on Deadwood. Historically accurate or Hollywood hokum?

By: Alyssa | at Monday, April 11, 2005 | |   

Rage against the dying of Winter Spring
I thought Winter Spring had finally succumbed to Spring when we had fantastic weather and warm, sunny skies. I wore sunscreen – and a t-shirt. With short sleeves! We hit 75 in Cambridge!

We hiked around Fresh Pond, spotted a box turtle on a log, a few squawky birds and approximately 4000 dogs. It was a fantastic day!

But alas, it is not meant to last. The Weather dude just said that we’re going to have a cold, cloudy week – highs in the 40s. Oh and there’ll be a sea breeze, which is a refreshing drink or a refreshing breeze on a hot day. But biting and brisk when you can only hope to climb to 44.

So there you have it – Winter Spring rears its ugly head again. Just when the hot dog guy was out too.

By: Alyssa | Sunday, April 10, 2005 at Sunday, April 10, 2005 | |   

Open House weekend #9: She got the goldmine
We hit about four places today. Two were extremely nice and affordable – but alas they were too small.

As we waited for the start of the open house at the first place, two other couples joined us. I figure we had a couple of years on each of them – but roughly we’re the same demographic: Young couple looking to buy their first home.

One couple talked excitedly before going in. They stood in the driveway and surveyed the area. The other consulted with the clipboard and had a listing of other OHs in the area. They were wearing matching shirts.

The couple in the driveway had apparently been at the place just the day before. We heard the realtor greet them warmly as they approached with “it is nice to see you again.”

The blonde woman responded loudly, “Oh my God! We love this place so much!”

Nice poker face lady. I snickered to myself. I get razzed all the time for getting overly excited and enthusiastic about places. Which is true – but that happens when I’m away from the property.

When I’m at the property I’m all business. You’d probably have a tough time getting a read on me. Same for Deeps. I think that would explain why – with each bid – the seller’s agent has always expressed surprise if we make a bid.

We’re tough people. These two couples made a lot of rookie mistakes – luckily, this house wouldn’t make them pay for it. Some houses make you pay later. Didn’t think about the heating and cooling system? Oh that’s going to sneak up on you during the inspection. What about the roof? Yeah – they’re only good for 25 years – if you’re lucky. And if you need a new one you’re going to need double digit dollars to replace it. And guess what - those aren't considered "improvments".

Later in the afternoon we hit a place we’d seen earlier in the week. It is occupied by renters – the two flat is entirely rented out. Now the owners are trying to flip the property. Sadly, these rental units are very uhm – they look like old rental units.

The kitchens are woefully outdated, as are the bathrooms. The floors are in bad shape. The walls need paint. The tenants are filthy (women! With jobs!) and leave stuff everywhere. One place is occupied by smokers. By the smell – I’d guess they’re smoking about 18 packs a day. The other unit is inhabited by three large rabbits.

When we showed up to see the smoker unit, the tenants hadn’t been informed we’d be arriving – so they let us in but it made for an awkward viewing. We bailed before we’d e even seen the whole place. I had some cautious optimism for the place. If we updated the kitchen (I estimated new cabinets, counters and replacing the very old appliances to be about $15K) and redid the floors (about $3/square foot) it might not be so bad. Oh but the windows. They ALL need to be replaced. I estimated about $500 a window – that place had a lot of windows…then there was the bathroom and the mirrored wall in one of the rooms.

The place needed more than an update – it needed an overhaul. And when I hit $50K for work to modernize the place – I quit. Look – it is one thing to sink some money into one big project: updating the kitchen or the bathroom. It’s another thing to have to do multiple big ticket projects. There’s no way we could ever have hoped to sell that place again without doing that work – and frankly, just to make it acceptable to us – we’d need to do it.

The lesson here - updating your house makes it better for you while you live in and also makes it more appealing to buyers down the road. And if you have pet rabbits, clean their cages before the OH.

Labels: house

By: Alyssa | at Sunday, April 10, 2005 | |   

First real sign of Spring
As we drove back from the spa – I confessed I was starving. My stomach had started growling about halfway through the facial. Deeps said he was pretty hungry too – so we talked about a game plan: make some sandwiches, look up a few addresses, do a drive by to help eliminate places to visit on Sunday.

“Maybe the grill guy will be out today,” I commented as we pulled on Huron Avenue.
Deeps shook his head, “I think it is too early.”

The grill guy is a very nice man with a huge Weber grill – you can find him outside Formaggio’s in Cambridge on Saturdays. He grills hot dogs (giant beef franks), chicken, beans and sometimes he’ll have brisket and ribs. He’s the reason I don’t own a grill.

We came up to our old street and I could kind of smell something. As we got closer to Formaggio’s I could see the line of people. Everyone was very excited – it must be the first appearance of the grill this season. The line had about 10 people in it. I’ve never seen the line that long.

“Pull over!” I yelled excitedly – rummaging in my purse for $8 (the cost of two giant, awesome hotdogs). Deeps found us an easy spot.

He went inside to get some stinky cheese (the poor man loves cheese and is cursed by being married to someone who is lactose intolerant). I stood in line behind a nice couple and their little girl, waiting for a hot dog.

People started coming up the sidewalk. I looked around and people were sitting on steps and curbs all around – enjoying their hotdogs and the first real taste of spring.

I got up to the front of the line and placed my order. “Two dogs please,” I said to the grill master.

He smiled at me. “You want one extra burnt right?” I nodded. He remembered me. I was a regular last year, and all my weeks of special ordering an extra burnt dog had paid off.

Spring never tasted so good.

By: Alyssa | at Sunday, April 10, 2005 | |   

The wisdom of Rimante
We had our facials yesterday – wow. Deeps looks really great. I’m still blotchy – which is an after effect of the facial process. You’re shiny and blotchy and will be for about 24 hours.

My aesthetician asked me some questions about what I was looking to get out of my facial. What my concerns are, etc.

I told her I found the extraction – where your pores are manually cleansed of buildup – very beneficial. Of course, that’s the most painful part of the process: someone exfoliates and steams your skin and then squeezes out buildup out of your pores either with their fingers (usually gloved) or with a small blackhead/whitehead removal tool.

I got both. She went to town on me. I have one really great physical asset – my skin. It looks good. I don’t have to work to hard at it. Some people have a great butt or awesome hair – I have the good skin.

So why bother with a facial? I understand that just because you get lucky once doesn’t mean you’re going to stay lucky. Plus since I spent the first 25 or so years ignoring it, I figure it is time I make up for that – so I’ve spent the past five years being nicer to it.

Anyway, so there she was – the cute little blonde aesthetician – squeezing away. It hurts – but it isn’t like the most painful thing I’ve ever done. She comments that I don’t wince much, that I don’t squirm.

This is true – I have learned this usually makes it worse.

I jokingly respond, “Well you know – I’m tough.”
She responds in her thick European accent, “Good. Not everyone understands that beauty is pain.”

By: Alyssa | at Sunday, April 10, 2005 | |   

When Spas attack
Usually we go away to an inn out in the Berkshires for Patriot’s Day Weekend (it’s a regional New England holiday) – it happens in mid April.

This year we’re too busy to think about getting away, despite the fact we could use an escape.

We have fun – but sometimes the trips get a little more stressful than intended. And sometimes it involves bears.

By: Alyssa | Thursday, April 07, 2005 at Thursday, April 07, 2005 | |   

Reading on pace
I think I’m settling down a little – I’ve read two books this week, so I’m getting back on track.

Let’s see – at last count I was up to 18. Now I think I’m at 21. I finished a few titles over the past few weeks including: Now You See It, The Well of Lost Plots, and Pharos: A Ghost Story.

Now You See It was a breezy mystery set in old-time Hollywood during WWII. It was fast and distracting and I barely remember it.

The Well of Lost Plots was fun and dense and fast and I was sad when it was over. Jasper Fforde is crazy with wordplay and each page is crafted – you could spend hours breaking it apart for additional jokes and insight. Or you could take it at face value and still enjoy it immensely. I did both.

Finally – Pharos is a very short novel (almost a novella) by a Scottish author. I think I tripped across the title at some point during the summer and added it to my “should read” list. Thankfully – I found it at my public library (next to a sleeping hobo – he smelled like pee). The book was fast and furious and reminded me a lot of Turn of the Screw which is also a very enjoyable novel.

Next I’m reading Justine – the same author as Pharos – and it purports to have many literary allusions, including one to de Sade. What could be better when hunting for a house?

By: Alyssa | at Thursday, April 07, 2005 | |   

Sometimes they call back
We saw three very nice places last night – each has a lot of possibilities and potential. But we’re hedging a bit – going to check out a few more places.

We’re also casually placing bets on whether or not we’ll get a call back about the Big White Duplex (failed bids #1 and #4).

We already got a call back about failed bid #2 – the owner who thought the asking price was his minimum suggested purchase price. His broker called to find out if we’d be interested in making an offer. Because no one else has.

Of course not! A buyer isn’t going to put up with such boorish treatment. Once the seller’s agent saw the writing on the wall he called us again. We politely declined. Maybe in a few weeks – but for now, we can do better.

There is something frustrating about not getting a deal to come together – about not having your offer considered or having someone walk in with a suitcase full of hundreds of thousands of dollars to out bid you. But there’s something very satisfying about passing on a deal that will not work for you in any way.

And there’s something very satisfying when they call back a few days later. I don’t know if the sellers from the big duplex will ever call us back - but let’s just say, I won’t be surprised if they do.

By: Alyssa | at Thursday, April 07, 2005 |