He’s totally rightThe closing went very smoothly. It was a bit slow – but very, very smooth. When we’d signed papers for about 45 minutes and then waited for another hour for them to be filed – we got the good news. We’re officially home owners. The lawyer shook our hand and said “Congratulations and welcome to debt.” Yeah - he’s not wrong. But we’ve still got $80. Par-tay!
Right now I’m enjoying a little champagne and looking at the list of stuff we’d like to get for the new chateau. I’m thinking the burnt sienna blinds in the bedroom are going to have to go – but some projects can wait. I do only have $80.
We’ve already dabbed big splotches of paint on the walls. We’re sticking with all the paint color decisions but one. We’re dialing back on the teal and sticking with Waterfall (Benjamin Moore if you’d like to consult your color wheel). I was a little freaked out by the Stem Green and the Pear Green when I first painted them but they dried much darker and nicer. The pear looked totally neon when I first put it on the walls. I nearly passed out.
And the painter called to tell us that he can start our project a little earlier due to the bad weather they’ve had – thwarting their outdoor projects. I think we might do a little painting ourselves this weekend. I found a fantastic golden yellow to paint our office which is more of a dusky mustard/green right now.
Plus Deeps is itching for a project – so I figured this was a good one. I’ll watch him paint and after he spills half a gallon of Firefly on himself, I’ll take over. I’m really just looking for an excuse to buy one of those painter overall things.
I love accessories.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, May 31, 2005 at Tuesday, May 31, 2005 | |
The House
Half a house - in 30 years and 4.35 gajillion dollars later it will be ours.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, May 31, 2005 | |
Entry to the abode
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, May 31, 2005 | |
long view of the living/dining room
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By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, May 31, 2005 | |
The book nook - or at least, that's what I call it now
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By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, May 31, 2005 | |
More kitchen
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By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, May 31, 2005 | |
Mmmm.... shiny kitchen
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By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, May 31, 2005 | |
Built in hutch (and the basement door)
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By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, May 31, 2005 | |
The partially finished basement
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By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, May 31, 2005 | |
That's high efficiency baby!
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By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, May 31, 2005 | |
One of our four new bathrooms
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By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, May 31, 2005 | |
Office - window view
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By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, May 31, 2005 | |
Office -slanty door view
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By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, May 31, 2005 | |
Master bed - bathroom view - we're testing bad paint colors
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By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, May 31, 2005 | |
Normal closets available for everyone in the master bedroom - no I'm not paint the walls teal
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, May 31, 2005 | |
More Master bed
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, May 31, 2005 | |
Society of OwnershipI’ll admit I don’t really buy into the whole joys of homeownership thing. I didn’t set out to have a house. I figured it might happen some day – but it wasn’t like my dream or anything.
When we moved to Chicago and lived in the dumpy place where the guy beat his wife (below us) and the electricity failed with alarming regularity – I didn’t think we’d stay there forever. And as soon as the rent was raised we moved.
We found a great place that was big and had high ceilings and a large bathroom. We had plenty of room (although the closets left something to be desired). Plus we had a big balcony, parking for both of our cars and were closer to a more neighborhood (not on the ambulance route).
Of course when we rented that apartment on a warm summer night we didn’t know that it was across the street from a huge in-patient facility for people suffering from mental illness. It made for an awkward move when one of the patients spit on Deeps as we hauled in boxes. And it meant that we never hung out in the large neighborhood park because it was overrun by patients during the day. But in their own way, the occupants of the giant institution kept developers at bay and kept our rents in check. We only paid about $50 more when we left than we did when we moved in five years earlier.
The idea to buy a house first came up when we started looking to rent a place in Cambridge. The rents were – roughly – three times what we paid for similar size places in Chicago. That sticker shock sent us reeling. After we signed the lease and paid our first month’s rent we started planning for a future purchase. We wanted to make a move as quickly as possible.
When you’re throwing away a small portion of your annual income for a place to live – well, it doesn’t seem as dramatic. We didn’t have any liabilities, we could break our lease any time, and we were happy enough with our space. Our biggest complaint was that we could hear the dude upstairs getting it on with his girlfriend. But then they broke up – so things got quiet.
As soon as we started tossing away thousands of dollars a month on rent, well we changed our tune. And we had to contend with living below our landlord. This was usually fine but did create a different set of annoyances. For some reason I found it more bothersome to listen to the person we were paying good money to stomping around in the middle of the night. The fat dude who would never answer his door who lived above us for five years in Chicago never raised much more than passing ire. As soon as we didn’t get a clear sidewalk or easy parking – well I think that’s when we started to get fed up. We didn’t have the easy life of renting that we had in Chicago. In these small buildings, we were at the mercy of a landlord who was more often than not the occupant as well. All the things we paid for in the past – and were paying for now – were no longer quite so easy to get. Plus we were paying three times as much for it.
Which brings me to tomorrow: we will enter the bitter world of home ownership. I think for lots of people it is exciting – it is for us – but it was more a financial inevitability than anything else. We conducted a little cost benefit analysis and figured it would be easier for us to own than to continue to rent. Plus, the lady upstairs is getting on – I’m not sure how much longer she’s going to want to keep this house. Inevitably we’d be forced to find another place to live. And the vicious cycle continues. So that was the big driver.
But now that I have the possibility of ownership dangled before me – like a juicy carrot – I must say I’m buying into it more. I can’t say that I’m traditionally motivated about my home the way others are – but I am delighted to have walls that are not white. So after the closing we’ll head over to the new chateau and dab (that’s what Deeps calls it) paint on the walls to finalize our color choices. We'll take some measurements for a semi-swanky closet system and the storm door for the back of the house.
And then I’ll start complaining about property taxes.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | Monday, May 30, 2005 at Monday, May 30, 2005 | |
Shut up, MaverickLook, I haven’t said anything about it for a while – but the tiny megalomaniac that is Tom Cruise is really, really, really starting to
freak me out. Like way to turn off the 30-something women, dude. That’s going to do wonders for your box office.
Nicole must be super psyched when she sees him on TV now being all
churlish and
freaky.
Oprah was right - we've never seen him like this before. And God help us if we have to keep seeing it. When is that stupid movie coming out again? I'm making a note to skip it.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | Sunday, May 29, 2005 at Sunday, May 29, 2005 | |
Super smartWe’ve been looking at storm doors for the back door to the new house. Deeps is officially calling it “ours” since we are less than 48 hours from the closing. Way to get on board, Deeps!
So we took measurements several weeks ago for new blinds (because my husband cannot be party to hideous blinds apparently) and the storm door. Except that apparently we took the measurements wrong….
Thanks to the Interweb we’ve discovered what we did wrong and are hoping to
get the correct measurements. I’m less optimistic about getting the door, however, since the size appears to be narrower than what is usually in stock.
But we don’t get the house for another couple of days to re-measure. Now we wait and I demand Deeps hand over his keys so that he can’t stage any late night door measuring missions. Seriously – we’re going to have to live there. No need to freak out the neighborhood before we even move in.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Sunday, May 29, 2005 | |
Fun with packingI’m not sure when we managed to get weird bleach-like stains on every single towel we own. But we did.
I guess new towels will be added to the “to buy” list. I'm not sure how we'll fund that list - but I'll worry about that later.
Also: Deeps is not allowed to buy ANY more bandaids or eye drops. Seriously – we have about 50,000 of each.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | Saturday, May 28, 2005 at Saturday, May 28, 2005 | |
Nice round numberWe got the final number for the closing costs on Friday. I flipped because the number was significantly higher (about 40%) than anything I’d be quoted previously. I should note that I had asked weekly for about 3 months what our closing costs would be on each respective bid we made.
I would ask “Is there anything else? Do I need to allocate for more?” but didn’t get any answers. So I was annoyed but not totally surprised – although I was surprised enough that I hadn’t actually budgeted for it. The lender is not trying to be sneaky – there’s just optional stuff that you don’t know about. So do yourself a favor, homebuyers of the future, budget 40% overage for whatever you think your closing costs will be based on your talks with your lender.
That way you won’t have to declare financial lockdown and “martial law” to get through a holiday weekend. Not that anyone in this family did such a thing…. Nope. No one made the declaration that, “You’ve got enough damn pants and you can wait until June 1.”
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Saturday, May 28, 2005 | |
Note to selfKeep that internal dialogue you always have running in your skull to yourself. Because loudly stating, “Good God it smells like day old fish,” while waiting at the bank will not endear you to your linemates. Especially the guy in front you who works at the fish market.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Saturday, May 28, 2005 | |
Just Married
Let them eat cake - but first, how about a little spumante?
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | Friday, May 27, 2005 at Friday, May 27, 2005 | |
Lovely and Amazing
Behold the newlyweds - ET and EK looked fantastic and do those people know how to put on a party.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Friday, May 27, 2005 | |
TiFauxI did it people – when I made the arrangements with the cable people to set up the cable/internet/phone service I figured I’d cough up the extra $9 and get the DVR.
So now when there are nights like tonight and I’m watching LOST and I need to pee – I can just pause it. Or I can ask my husband “What happened?” and then he’ll smirk and tell me to ask the Interweb.
I don’t want to say that he’s on thin ice – but seriously – that’s not cool. And so close to our anniversary as well.
And by the way – that was a good episode. Whew!
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | Thursday, May 26, 2005 at Thursday, May 26, 2005 | |
For the love of DOur friend took care of the mighty Poopus and our apartment whilst we were frolicking in the sunshine.
He also provided us with “the safety net” on TiVo. We taped lots of TV but he also provided a backup in case there was an incident. Like how Deeps forgot to put the Thursday night taping on the correct channel and we taped The WB instead of The OC on Fox. We watched all the taped TV shows on Sunday after we got back.
I was really enjoying the Gilmore – some jetlag weeping, some jetlag laughing. Then Lorelei was talking to Luke in the diner near the end. And then Ryan Seacrest’s face appeared. No ending!
I immediately called D and just started yelling “What happened!” into his answering machine. Luckily, Deeps translated – and then D called us back to tell us.
Thank God – it was nearly grounds for divorce. I mean, you know – jetlag divorce.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, May 25, 2005 at Wednesday, May 25, 2005 | |
CountdownWe close in a week.
We move in three weeks.
Nobody has done any packing since returning from Italy.
I guess we need to get on it. Pronto.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, May 25, 2005 | |
In the dark, we are all ItalianThe night of the wedding – wow, those people know how to party – we drank and danced and ate a 17 course meal. Afterwards, our hosts were kind enough to provide transportation back to Firenze (that’s Florence to the Americans) from Fiesole.
Now I’d like to paint a picture. Imagine 45 really, really, really drunk people and like 5 sober people and the world’s most talented and patient bus driver (named Tomas) and you’ve got an idea of what we faced that night. I’d pretty much sobered from my red wine buzz. I don’t know what it is about red wine – but one drink and I’m done.
The bus was brimming with people including an English woman who was yelling about her hat and someone who kept yelling “Freebird.” I’m surprised Tomas didn’t drive us off a cliff to save himself. Anyway, the bus dropped us off at our respective hotels before heading to a discotheque – hence the bus became known as the Disco Bus.
We disembarked from the Disco Bus for many reasons – not the least of which was because we were exhausted, our feet hurt (fancy shoes!) and we had one day left in Firenze. I wasn’t going to sleep through it. We were dropped off in the middle of a busy street near several discos. We made our way through a darkened park and over to a parking lot where some drunk dudes were fighting.
We scrambled past – the night had grown very cold – and made it to a small footpath that dropped near our hotel.
A couple of young Americans were arguing about directions to somewhere.
Then they turned to us. “Scusi!” one of them said. He then proceeded to ask us how to get to the disco, in Italian.
At no time during our entire trip to Italy did anyone ever speak to us in Italian except: for a Korean shopkeeper and our taxi driver. Both times, when faced with rapid Italian – I responded in French. I’m cool like that. I’d like to think that we could – you know – pass for Italian if needed. But let’s be honest, the pasty redhead and the Indian guy aren’t fooling anyone. We’re clearly not locale.
Anyway - this time, we both responded to the bad Italian with our own bad Italian. And then we pointed. The dudes followed our directions and thanked us.
Only in the dark would we possibly be mistaken for Italian. And then only by Americans.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, May 25, 2005 | |
Florentine Holiday
See those 14 million tourists? Yeah - that's the Ponte Vecchio.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, May 25, 2005 | |
Bella
A fountain, a balcony, and some red flowers - everywhere I went I felt like I was in an Audrey Hepburn movie.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, May 25, 2005 | |
Fakes
Look at us - we're fake Italians!
He is totally going to make me take this down in like 20 minutes.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, May 25, 2005 | |
Stormy
The view from our balcony on the afternoon we arrived - a mighty storm was rolling in.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, May 25, 2005 | |
Clear Skies
Near the British Consulate - a view of Firenze and the Arno.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, May 25, 2005 | |
Recipe for DisasterI’m over the worst of my jetlag –
I think.
So tonight I should be back on track to share many, many exciting stories of Italy. Okay – maybe not
many. We were only there for 4 days.
But I might not be able to do all the sharing tonight – because we have what I like to call a “recipe for disaster” brewing. Take a three day Nor’easter, 55 mph winds, and combine with a week-old strike by workers at the region’s largest electric company and mix. We may very well be sitting in the dark tonight.
Oh did I mention it is only 48 degrees out?
Yeah. So there’s the cold too. I don’t’ think we packed the candles yet. Thank God I bought all those cheap cashmere scarves in Florence – they might come in handy tonight.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, May 24, 2005 at Tuesday, May 24, 2005 | |
I don’t shake itPeople – I’m on day two of not sleeping. Light napping – yes. But actual sleep moving into REM and then Delta – nope. It’s great.
I find everything hilarious and also sometimes spontaneously cry. It’s better than Cats.
Italy was fantastic. We had a great time. It was hot and kind of smoggy – man they need some unleaded fuel. But gorgeous and the warmth was just what we needed.
The food was great, we walked and hung out and saw art. Then at night we’d pull it together to go visit the 24-hour Party People. These people are all older than me and I just don’t shake it like them. I don’t think I ever have.
Every morning we’d get up and haul out and after walking around the old city in the 80 degree heat for most of the afternoon I’d have to go home and have a siesta. And then shower again. And maybe hit the mini bar – the Coca Light is the greatest beverage on earth!
I don’t think I’ve ever been as clean as I was during the past few days when I was showering twice daily.
But the boogeying – well, I tried. But I don’t really drink much anymore and that became apparent when I tried to keep up with even some of the lesser drinkers. I cannot drink my own weight in booze, remain charming and chatty, stay up all night and sleep for 25 minutes and still look fresh as a daisy.
In fact, I never looked fresh as a daisy the entire time we were in Florence because of the hot. I’m happy to report that it was colder and crappier in Boston when we returned today than it was when we left.
Thanks Beantown, for keeping it real.
I have more to write about – but as you can see from this entry, I should really try to get some sleep first.
By the way, photos are slow in coming because I got kind of lazy and let the art department handle most of the photos. Seriously – leave it to the professionals. They know what they’re doing. Plus, they will take your camera away.
I haven't slept in like like 40 hours.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | Sunday, May 22, 2005 at Sunday, May 22, 2005 | |
Villa on a hill
The villa was pretty stunning in the evening sun, but it was even more amazing by moon and candlelight. Until bats started buzzing my head and I insisted we run inside and hide under a table.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Sunday, May 22, 2005 | |
Duomo
The Duomo is big and pink and sparkles. Okay, it doesn't sparkle - but it is very large and very pink. And everyone knows pink is the new black.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Sunday, May 22, 2005 | |
Arno
Man - Florence sure is pretty. We walked along the Arno every day, enjoying the scenery, admiring the water fowl and we even spotted a river otter.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Sunday, May 22, 2005 | |
It’s not you, it’s meYou may be wondering, where is Alyssa? She’s away from the Interweb.
Thankfully, the Poopus is fully guarded by house sitter and friend, so we’re covered there. To be extra nice I even cleaned out the poop-o-matic 3000 this morning. Oh house sitter/friend – you are lucky.
We have money and directions and a crappy phrase book and a much better phrase book.
As a precaution, I weighed myself this morning. It’s unlikely that I’ll gain 35 pounds in 4 days – but let’s not make it a challenge, okay?
I have sleeping pills, stuff for acid indigestion, and headache stuff – so that should cover us for the whopping four days that we’re there. I should have booked this trip for longer, but I guess it doesn’t matter now. Plus when we return we’re just about a week away from closing on the house.
Nothing better go wrong while I’m gone. I’ll take lots of photos. Don’t worry.
Now I just need to learn how to say “I didn’t vote for him,” just in case anyone asks.
Bon Voyage!
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, May 17, 2005 at Tuesday, May 17, 2005 | |
Light ReadingJust finished
Jake Halpern's first book
"Braving Home" - if you like travelogues or have ever wondered "who lives here?" when you drive by an unusual location, this book is for you. It's like a really good magazine article. He reminds me a bit of
John McPhee - probably because his choices are so interesting.
Halpern's book covers the stories of disparate people with similar issues: they're throwbacks, they're holdouts, they won't give up and go when they're the only people left behind. They love their homes and they stay - no matter what horrors await them: fire, flood, or lava.
You hear it a million times: everyone has a good story to tell. Wonder why we have so many crappy cop dramas on TV. Anyway, the book is fast and fun and you learn a lot about a certain kind of American. They cherish and keep more - nothing is disposable and ultimately they can't and won't take anything for granted.
As we prepare to move into our first home, I wonder when we'll move again. When we moved into our current apartment we didn't throw out a single moving box. We knew the next move would come very quickly.
But now, well - we don't take as much care with the boxes this time. We hope to stay for a while. Maybe not forever - but part of me finds the idea of forever very, very appealing.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Tuesday, May 17, 2005 | |
Vacation is all I’ve ever wantedSo I think we’re almost ready. I did one last-minute trip to CVS to buy tiny bottles of crap. Because I love that stuff.
Somehow tiny bottles equal $35. After I came back I discovered I ran out of moisturizer. Stupid girl. Who do I think I am?
Ye gods.
Anyway, I’ve got clean underwear and some pants. Seriously – America where are the pants? I can’t tell you how hard it was to try to find a pair of normal pants. Not short pants or cropped pants or Capri pants – just pants. Nothing was out there. I ended up spending way to much on a pair of black polyester slacks that actually fit my body properly but don’t do much for my self-esteem and my bank account.
Mostly my bank account. Seriously – those pants are okay but not that great, ya know?
This is what my blog has become: bad pants and clean underwear and paint colors.
I don’t even know who I am anymore. Thank God I’m going on vacation.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | Monday, May 16, 2005 at Monday, May 16, 2005 | |
No harm, no foulMe:Looks like rain in Florence.
Deeps: Will it be sunny and nice in Boston?
Me: (typing and clicking on the mouse) Uhm. No.
Deeps: So it will be crappy anyplace we could possibly be.
Me: Yes.
Deeps: Well alright then.
Me: I’m bringing extra shoes.
Deeps: That’s your answer for everything.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | Sunday, May 15, 2005 at Sunday, May 15, 2005 | |
I like to readI’m taking three books to Florence – we’re there for four full days. One day is the wedding and it’s supposed to rain the rest of the time. But I figure I’ve got between 12 and 16 hours flying time. Plus airport down time.
So why not take a little light reading?
I’ve chosen the latest book from
Laurie Notaro We thought you'd be prettier. I like to read her stuff when I’m in a foreign country because I get the jokes and because her books are always reassuring when you’re far from home. I don’t think that’s her intention, but I find hilarity reassuring.
I picked up a couple of mystery/thrillers. I think those books are easy to devour on the plane.
I also picked up
Wendy McClure’s memoir
I’m not the new me, but I think I might save that for when I get home. I don’t know if it’s good to read a weight loss memoir when you’re planning on eating your way around a country. Then again, maybe I
should bring it.
But this all brings me to my latest book report: I read some
dude books.My husband picked up a few books by
Richard Stark last year when he was looking to do some binge reading. The
Parker books are very fast reads – but I’m not sure if I would say they’re totally enjoyable. I suppose they’re entertaining enough – like a big summer movie with shootouts and explosions. Plus I fee like if I ever go on the lamb and become as sociopath, I can figure out how to hide my identity and possibly launder money. Kind of.
Some of those parts are boring and sometimes I got a little bit of eye glaze during those parts. Plus the character dialogue leaves something to be desired. After reading those books I think I need some female characters – or even someone sympathetic to read about.
And I realize that as I’ve looked through the list of books I’ve read this year – I’ve been pretty under whelmed by most of them. I only really liked a handful. Maybe I need to do a little more research before picking stuff up.
I’ve got a summer reading list to make – but I have a feeling it’s going to involve more books about electrical and plumbing than delicious spy dramas or hilarious comedies of manners.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Sunday, May 15, 2005 | |
I’m packing as fast as I canIt has been pointed out to me, by my husband and my friends that I haven’t packed enough.
I know!
It was a deliberate decision. See – if I pack too early, I’m going to be all anxious to get into the place earlier. And we’re not going to move in before our scheduled date because we have painters and the door guy coming. I might be able to do some after painting cleaning, but that’s it. Then we move.
I’ve also been informed that I should start packing for Italy. We don’t leave for another couple of days, but whatever. I’m behind.
All I know is that I have special underwear and a dress – so as far as I’m concerned, we’re fine. Plus, my passport validation was never in doubt.
Today I was also informed that our hotel has WebTV and that “we may need to use it.”
ME: Oh, really?
Deeps: Yes – because I’ll need to check to see
if Arrested Development got renewed.
ME: What?
Deeps: Look – it’s not my fault that our friends are having their wedding
during upfronts.Way to plan ahead – just something else to keep in mind when you plan your wedding. Also, try not to plan your wedding during the rainiest week in Florence in like 20 years. Just jot that down for next time.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Sunday, May 15, 2005 | |
We have different problemsI got a haircut a couple weeks ago – I figured it was time to tame the mane before the great Italian wedding.
Here’s the problem I have that lots of people don’t have: I have too much hair. If you look at me, it doesn’t seem like it. But if you’re cutting my hair – you start digging in and find layer after thick layer and the next thing you know you’ve got carpal tunnel from trying to do a blowout.
I once made a hairdresser cry – because she was tired of blow-drying.
My current hair manager, the much beloved Stephanie, is very good and totally understanding about my hair. She didn’t get tricked as so many others have. Plus, she is the first to regularly suggest thinning out the hair.
That’s right – I have to have my hair thinned about 2 – 3x a year. She uses the razor scissors and snips away and when it’s over, you can’t really tell any difference. I can feel a difference, but I don’t let just anyone feel up my head.
We did some thinning a few weeks ago – and I noticed it in the first few days after the cut, I can’t tell anymore. The hair comes back that fast.
I’m not sure where all this hair comes from. I suspect it had something to do with the fact I was a bald toddler. You know one of those kids who was bald and walking and talking at like 2 and didn’t have any hair to speak of until about 3. Yep, that was me.
Kids like that are creepy.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Sunday, May 15, 2005 | |
How many shoes do I take?We’ve started talking a bit more about Italy – and much less about paint colors. This is probably a step in the right direction.
Tonight Deeps announced that he wanted “a relaxing” vacation. That’s how I want every vacation – but when I travel with him it doesn’t ever
quite work out that way. He becomes the man with a plan. Each night he consults newspapers and countless guide books and then devises a plan that usually requires me to ready for breakfast by 8 AM. That’s not really like vacation sleeping in.
I nodded and muttered something like “I’ll believe it when I see it.”
Then we talked about clothes – it has been rainy in Florence. What do we wear? What do we take? When do we leave for the airport?
I’ve decided on the dress – I think. I’m getting a final consultation on Saturday from my friend. It’s the most flattering, probably the coolest for a hot night and practical for use outside of a wedding - plus it requires the least amount of new foundation wear (that’s under garments for you men folk).
I mentioned this to Deeps, he’d voted for a long evening gown in a steely blue color.
“I have to wear a lot of special underwear with that,” I said.
“What?” he asked. “Special underwear?” He’s totally confused. I could explain, but what’s the point? I gave it a shot anyway. How else is he going to learn?
“Look – a dress like that requires that you be totally smooth underneath your dress – I’m not totally smooth. It's satin and clingy. So you’ve got to – you know – get the right underwear,” I said.
“I have it much easier don’t I?” he asked.
“Oh yes, yes you do.”
He munched on his sandwich for a moment and then stopped. He looked very concerned.
“I’m going to have to bring two pairs of shoes, aren’t I!” Oh Deeps, you really do have it easy.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | Thursday, May 12, 2005 at Thursday, May 12, 2005 | |
Like Cats but Without the MusicI’m writing an entry about my cat because a) this is the Internet and b) I’m running low on ideas (headache – so bad….agh).
When I first inherited the Poopus, shortly after graduation, we moved to Chicago with Deeps. Deeps never had to live with a pet before – and he wasn’t fond of the Poopus. She doesn’t really “endear” herself to really – anyone. At that time I’d say she was clocking in around 8 pounds. Roughly “average” for a cat.
I was working nights at the Trib and Deeps was at Northwestern during the day. So at night, he’d be alone with the cat. And let’s just say she would get some “ideas” about how to entertain herself.
At least once a week I’d get some weird phone call from Deeps. His basic fear – which is probably founded – was that if something bad happened to the cat he’d be blamed. And so when the cat would do something weird he’d get all twitchy.
Exhibit A: Why can’t I close this drawer?
This happened a lot. The cat would “disappear” in the apartment. She’d hide in the back of the closet under clothes, under the sofa, or behind a bookshelf. Basically, anywhere she could squeeze.
One night Deeps called me – laughing hysterically. Apparently he’d done some laundry and was folding and putting away clothes. He must have left the top drawer of the dresser open for a few minutes. When he tried to close it, he got resistance. He couldn’t close the drawer.
Then he heard a faint “meow.” The Poopus had found a way to climb into the drawer and then shimmy behind it. He had to pull out the whole drawer and clothes to extract the cat.
Exhibit B: I never noticed that lump before
Usually the missing cat wouldn’t really raise any suspicions for Deeps. He didn’t care. But he would notice when the cat would get herself into a “sticky situation.” He’d hear the faraway “meow” and start the search.
Apparently, the cat really liked to hided under the bed. So much so that she’d made a little burrow into our bed’s box spring. She’d climb up into the box spring and hide out, but when she was ready to leave – couldn’t find the path.
So she’d cry. For a while. The cries would get more demanding. Eventually, Deeps would go looking for her.
The phone rang at my office. I talked quietly – trying to keep from bursting into laughter.
Me: This is Alyssa
Deeps: Your cat is probably brain damaged now.
Me: Oh god what did you do to her?
Deeps: I did not do anything to her. She did this to herself.
Me: Okay.
Deeps: She’s been hiding under the bed.
Me: Right.
Deeps: And now she’s actually hiding in the bed.
Me: What?
Deeps: She dug a hole into the box spring and she’s up in it. She can’t get out. It’s really dusty in there.
Me: Hmm…
Deeps: So what should I do?
Me: Don’t worry about it – eventually she’ll figure it out.
Deeps: She’s making a lot of noise. She’s crying a lot.
Me: Eventually, she’ll find her way out.
About an hour later the phone rang again.
Deeps: I got her out.
Me: Oh yeah?
Deeps: I used the handle of broom to kind of shove her towards the hole she made.
Me: Well, you did graduate at the top of your class.
I think that was his most traumatic single night with the cat. Except for the time I caught her trying to lick the Draino bottle that I’d left near the bathtub when we’d had a clog and then spent the next three hours deciding if she was going to die. Or the time I thought she had “the cat cancer” but really was just pissed because I bought her different cat food.
Or maybe the year-long nightly odyssey of “I hate you, cat in the mirror” in which she viciously attacked the mirrored closet doors around 3 AM.
Yep. She was free. Because you cannot pay for quality like that cat. Now she limits her "hiding" places to something a bit roomier.
And while she was once about 8 pounds, I think she's clocking in now around 16. I should note that she totally fills this adult-size chair.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, May 11, 2005 at Wednesday, May 11, 2005 | |
From the Mixed up Files of DeepsHe sent me this link today – primarily because he thought the
central conceit was “amusing” and found the punch line “hilarious”. I will let you guess the punch line. Here’s a hint – the word “girl” is in it.
Please to enjoy. It is safe for work.
Labels: 2005
By: Alyssa | at Wednesday, May 11, 2005 | |
