Hey friends! How was the honeymoon? Was it all you hoped it would be and more? I hope you guys had fun.
Yeah, it's been raining since you got married. Hard to believe, I know.
So a couple things happened while you were away. Your apartment is really cute. That kitchen is huge! But. Uhm. Mostly this happened. The ceiling in your bathroom collapsed.
As best as we can tell, it probably happened shortly after you closed the door to your apartment and left the country. Things like this happen. In fact, according to this highly detailed spreadsheet of things we predicted might go wrong on your trip, this was very likely to happen.
Yes, we had a pool. We bet on your tragedy. Just remember, comedy is tragedy that happens to other people. Besides, we were going to buy you a beer with our winnings.
And frankly, looking at this photo, can you blame us for betting?
We think it is mostly fixed now. Thank goodness you didn't leave the landlord's phone number in a convenient location. That would have made things too easy!
Oh and
we have your cat. You know, she's the one who tipped us off initially - little white paw prints were everywhere. Don't worry - she's fine.
But for your sake, I hope you brought us home something better than a t-shirt.
Labels: 2008, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, August 12, 2008 at Tuesday, August 12, 2008 | | 
Earlier this week I mentioned getting the tetanus booster when I went in for a routine doctor visit. That was Monday morning.
Today is Friday morning.
Deeps noticed a large lump on my left shoulder.
Deeps: Uhm - what's wrong with your arm?
Me: Oh that? It's the tetanus shot.
Deeps: That looks bad.
Me: I think it might be getting bigger.
Deeps: Does it hurt?
Me: Yes. And it itches!
Deeps: Is that supposed to happen?
Me: I have no idea. I'm afraid to look it up on the Internet.
Deeps: You should probably call the doctor.
Me: Why? So she can take out my other arm?
So all week I've been walking around to my friends going "Hey, you wanna touch something gross?" and then make them feel the huge, hard lump on my arm.
Nobody has turned me down yet. That's why we're friends!
Labels: 2008, health, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Friday, August 08, 2008 at Friday, August 08, 2008 | |
So I went into the doctor today for a routine check-up. Nothing major, but at the end of our friendly visit my doctor took one last look at my chart.
Doctor: Looks like we wanted to give you a tetanus booster shot in 2004, but you said you were current.
Me: I probably was.
Doctor: That was four years ago, are you still current?
Me: How bad is it?
Doctor: Not that bad.
Me: I'm a big baby about needles.
Doctor: A lot of people are.
Me: It's not that bad anymore?
Doctor: No, it's really not that bad.
Me: I think I'm due. I'll do it.
A few minutes later the nurse came in to administer the shot.
Nurse: So what are do you not need as much today?
Me: What?
Nurse: Which arm to you write with?
Me: The right. But I like to use both arms. Every day.
Nurse: Left it is!
Me: The doctor said it wasn't that bad anymore.
Nurse: It isn't.
Me: That should be on the side of the package.
Labels: 2008, health, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Monday, August 04, 2008 at Monday, August 04, 2008 | |
My friend and colleague called me recently to tell me she wouldn't be coming to work due to a little accident at home.
Friend: I'm totally fine. Everything is fine. But I had a little accident.
Me: What happened?
Friend: I fell out of the attic.
This is where I laughed. A lot. For several seconds.
Friend: You know, when I told the boss she was very concerned and gasped and said I was lucky and it could be worse.
Me: You told me you were okay.
Friend: So far nobody has laughed.
Me: Those people aren't your real friends.
My friend proceeded to tell me she fell out of the attic while vacuuming the dust up before she loaded it full of her stuff. She went to the hospital and aside from a few bruises and some wounded pride, she's fine.
Friend: I'm going to have to sit on a cushion or something because I have a big bruise on my butt.
Me: That's just going to make me laugh again.
Labels: 2008, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Monday, July 21, 2008 at Monday, July 21, 2008 | |
While programming the DVR earlier in the evening the following exchange occurred.
Deeps: Oh no!
Me: Are we out of room?
Deeps: No. I just remembered that
The Cleaner is on tonight.
Me: The show with Benjamin Bratt?
Deeps: Yes! I thought I could ignore it forever. But there it is.
Me: We said we'd watch the first episode.
Deeps: We did.
Me: I think it will be terrible.
Deeps: I just wanted to pretend it didn't exist.
Me: That didn't work with the sub-prime mortgage crisis.
Deeps: Or global warming.
So I guess I'll watch it tomorrow, because thanks to global warming and the mortgage crisis I have to go to bed early. Or something like that....
Labels: 2008, television, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, July 15, 2008 at Tuesday, July 15, 2008 | |
I'm not a biker - I'm a pedestrian. I understand the appeal of the bike, but I don't have the dedication or the constitution to bike to work. I take my life into my own hands just walking, I figure I'll leave biking to the better equipped.
Except....
As gas prices rise I see more and more of the "accidental biker." I've determined that they're accidental because they didn't intend to bike, but due to circumstances beyond their control they're biking. And they bike in the most bizarre get-ups: suit pants and a muscle shirt and no helmet. A dress that is hiked up, sandals and no helmet.
Mostly they don't wear helmets. And while the old adage about something being as easy as riding a bike, apparently bike riding isn't as easy as one might think. As a casual observer I see a lot of wobbling on bikes too big for people on bikes too small for peple, a lot of fast pedaling without getting anywhere and the dreaded drift.
Just this week I've seen people nearly die, but I don't think they were aware how close they came to certain death. And they did it in a sundress and cute sandals. If you're riding a bike, you might take a second look at it to make sure it is going to work best for you. Learn about how the gears work and for the love of all things good, wear a helmet.
I don't care if you dress like a bumble bee and wear clicky shoes. Mostly I care if you laid out by a Prius.
Labels: 2008, Boston, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, July 02, 2008 at Wednesday, July 02, 2008 | |
Next week we're doing a little project in our third floor bathroom - new tile floors. The old tile is okay, however it is small, hard to clean, and has not been white since before we bought the place. Tasteful "Laguna Bay" (soft sandy color) will replace 1 inch hexagons with 1 foot squares.
This requires a very minor disruption to our lives as we move downstairs for a few nights while the handymen do their business. Normally, we'd do a project like this ourselves but I figured given our full-time jobs and other obligations, we should just job this one out.
Not to worry - I plan on not hiring a landscaper and to attempt to prune back privets that have grown to be over 17 feet tall. These are trade-offs that one must make.
In other news, my
friends Mark and Greg are totally re-doing their kitchen in dramatic fashion. I've been following it eagerly online since they've been blogging their experience. I've also been meddling, like I do, and offering lots of suggestions for tiles and paint and cabinets.
Frankly, they are both holding up better than I do(as are
their kitties) in such circumstances.
Last year we had 3 days of disruption when new counters were installed in the kitchen and I was a raving banshee. I'm trying to be better about the tile floors in the master bath. Luckily, we have another bathroom - so that will probably be okay.
Except when it isn't and I go crazy again.
Labels: 2008, house, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Friday, June 13, 2008 at Friday, June 13, 2008 | |
So I have a plan about how to get home if there is a terrorist attack while I'm at the office. This might sound weird and a little bleak, but in fairness I also had a plan in case we were attacked by Russians in the early 80s. Think Red Dawn. I was nine.
Anyway, the plan is good to have because "terrorist" can easily turn into "when the MBTA fails at every turn" which happens more often than you might think.
Last night I was happy to have some plans in place. Plan A is full blown disaster plan - I walk up Massachusetts Avenue for approximately seven miles until I'm close to home. Plan B is the inconvenience plan - I walk to Kendall Square and hang out at the mall and wait for Deeps to show up and meet me for dinner.
I implemented that plan last night when
a fire on the T shut down Red Line service for a good long while. Once I saw a flood of people crossing the bridge towards the MGH stop I knew I'd have to keep hiking.
But while I was walking across the bridge, as dark clouds loomed and the rain gently fell I started to wonder if it was really wise to be walking on a big metal bridge during storm - especially when I suspected there might be lightning. That's when I started to formulate Plan C. Call my work buddies to see if anyone is still in the neighborhood.
Plan C means I hole up in a nice pub, sip some whiskey and wait out the delays with my friends. It's a good plan, I don't see what could possibly go wrong.
Labels: 2008, Boston, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, May 28, 2008 at Wednesday, May 28, 2008 | |
I ratted out my maple tree yesterday.
The tree in front of our house has always been a little bit... off. It juts into the street at an angle, which is fine, but it drops a lot of stuff on the street. Like enormous, huge branches. We've been lucky nobody has been parked under the tree when that happens.
So after seeing another hunk of stuff fall off the tree on Monday I called the Tree Warden yesterday. I thought the Tree Warden might have a stern talk with the tree or perhaps get it to shape up.
But then I saw the big green X on the tree when we got home last night.
Deeps: Why is there an X on the tree.
Me: I called the town about the tree.
Deeps: What does the green X mean?
Me: I think it means mulch.
Deeps: We are sorry,tree.
Me: We are sorry, tree. I watered you but I think you are sick.
Deeps: I know you don't want to be known as a tree killer.
Me: I didn't kill the tree!
Deeps: You dropped a dime on the tree.
Me: What if the pine trees in the back find out?
Deeps: I wouldn't garden alone for a while.
Labels: 2008, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, May 14, 2008 at Wednesday, May 14, 2008 | |
We were driving in to work on Monday - I was getting a drop-off near the T - when I spotted something that sent my heart aflutter.
Me: Oh My God!
Deeps: What?
Me: (pointing excitedly) Stop the car!
Deeps: I'm in the middle of the road.
Me: Pull over in the parking lot.
Deeps: You shouldn't yell and point in my face while I'm driving.
Me: But there's a turkey!
Deeps: What?
Me: Look!
We observed an enormous male turkey hanging out under a low tree. He was staring at an office building near Alewife.
Me: That is the biggest turkey I've ever seen.
Deeps: How many turkeys have you seen?
Me: I grew up in Indiana, so I've see a few. Also peacocks.
Deeps: That's weird.
Me: Drive over by the turkey, I want to take a picture.
Deeps: For what?
Me: The internet!
Deeps: We need to go to work. You stay away from the turkey.
Me: But... if I don't take the picture then I'll never make it on the
deadly turkey watch section of
Universal Hub.
Deeps: What a tragedy.
Me: I'm letting Adam Gaffin know that you hate Universal Hub.
Deeps: I don't hate Universal Hub. Besides, that turkey looks big and angry.
Me: That's how all turkeys look!
Deeps: I wouldn't know.
Me: I think Adam loves turkeys and would like to see this turkey.
Deeps: Haven't been featured for a while, have you?
Me: No.
Deeps: You can't engineer interest...
Me: I think I can with that turkey picture.
Today I saw Canadian Geese in the parking lot, but no turkey. If only I could get a picture of the geese fighting the turkey....
Labels: 2008, animals, marriage, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, May 07, 2008 at Wednesday, May 07, 2008 | |
Since yesterday marked the start of May, I turned off the heat.
Right now, the house is sitting in the... okay, low 60s. And I see on the news that it is currently in the 40s and raining. So there's that.
This may be a pyrrhic victory. Well played, Nature. Well played.
Labels: 2008, weather, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Friday, May 02, 2008 at Friday, May 02, 2008 | |
Last night I met up with a few friends after work to have a drink and enjoy some cheap Happy Hour bar food. It's tougher to find discounts than you might think.
There were three of us and as we waited for our forth we ordered some drinks and some hideous bar snacks: things covered in cheese and things you dip in cheese. These are separate and distinct items.
We were able to slide in an order before the 5:30 Happy Hour cut-off point. Our friend didn't arrive until after 6.
Me: You've missed Happy Hour!
Friend: What? It's only six!
Me: Well according to this place Happy Hour runs from 2:30 to 5:30.
Friend: That's not very convenient.
Me: I would agree. But at least they discount some of the food for that time.
Friend: But not the drinks?
Me: I don't think you can do that in Massachusetts. You can only discount the food.
Friend: None of this seems very happy at all.
Me: Times are tough and we merely pursue happiness, there are no guarantees we will catch up to it.
Friend: I was hoping to catch up to some discounted nachos.
Me: They were delicious and they went quickly.
Friend: Like happiness.
Labels: 2008, Boston, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Thursday, May 01, 2008 at Thursday, May 01, 2008 | |
I landed Saturday morning after flying all night from San Francisco. I was pretty out of sorts for most of the day. Sunday morning I ran a few errands at the grocery store before settling down to make the usual Sunday brunchcast spread.
Deeps woke up very late, claiming he hadn't slept well while I was away. Whatever gets you through the day, dear.
Sometime around 11 AM he started the soft sell.
Deeps: Did you read anything about
Mario Kart?
Me: Not really. I heard it was coming out.
Deeps: Do you think you might want to play it?
Me: Is it cooperative?
Deeps: Not really. But it's supposed to be a really fun racing game.
Me: I like racing games.
Deeps: We have that old one that you don't play.
Me: I don't really like the controls.
Deeps: I think you might like the game. It could be fun for us to play.
Me: I guess we could rent it.
Deeps: Yeah, if we wait a while I guess we could rent it.
Me: That sounds good to me.
Deeps: So you're interested in the game?
Me: Sure!
He wandered off to get dressed while I figure out what shows we'd talk about. Sometime around 12 he announced he was going to "run errands."
Sometime around 12:45 Deeps rolled into the house with a big grin on my face.
Deeps: I found it!
Me: What?
Deeps: I had to go to Watertown but I found the game.
Me: What game?
Deeps: Mario Kart!
Me: Oh the game I wanted?
Deeps: You said you were interested.
Labels: 2008, marriage, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Monday, April 28, 2008 at Monday, April 28, 2008 | |
I don't think I've ever drunk dialed anyone. I know it is a popular thing to do. It's probably because I don't drink much anymore.
But last night I went out for drinks with a few friends and at some point the topic of a hair stylist came up (quelle surprise). I handed over a number.
Then finding a good doctor came up. I handed over a number.
By the end of the night, my friends were huddled around my cell phone, scrolling through the list and adding numbers to their phone. So the young drunk dial, the old sip our drinks and swap phone numbers for a good doctor.
Labels: 2008, hair, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Friday, April 18, 2008 at Friday, April 18, 2008 | |
Yesterday I walked to the local train station - it is a bit of a hike, but it is pretty. People were out running and biking and I strolled along listening to podcasts.
Somewhere near Alewife Brook I saw a guy with a dog have a run-in with the goose. The dog was on the smallish side and the goose saw a window.
Wings spread, bill parted, the goose charged and honked and dog and man beat feet. The goose waddled over to the small pond and hopped in the water. The dog cowered at the edge of the brook as the goose looked on.
I giggled and I feel pretty confident that the goose smirked.
Labels: 2008, animals, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Thursday, April 17, 2008 at Thursday, April 17, 2008 | |
Earlier in the week I determined that we needed to do some serious yard clean up. After a gross and wet winter, we had accumulated a lot of random debris in the front garden and back yard.
It poured on Friday, it drizzled on Saturday then turned nicer later in the afternoon. Sunday seemed ideal.
Except it was gray, drizzley and 40 degrees. Some member of the clean-up committee complained that it was too cold. I pointed out that our neighbor had been out doing the same work with a light jacket while we were bundled up in coats and scarves.
"It is a well-documented fact that he is tougher than I am," the party member know as Deeps replied.
We worked anyway, but opted to skip raking out the beds (again!). We'll do that later in the week when the temps break 50 and the sun comes out.
In the meantime I can keep myself occupied with tales I can spin around the weird stuff found in the
Pachysandra: a pen from the Burlington Marriott (functional), an application for a dance competition (soggy), a water-logged compass from LL Bean (still appeared functional), and several candy wrappers. That's what you get for living too close to a school.
Labels: 2008, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Monday, April 07, 2008 at Monday, April 07, 2008 | |
At lunch yesterday I noticed my friend's bulging wallet. She placed it on the table next to her lunch.
Me: Your wallet is quite massive.
Friend: It's full of receipts.
Me: I bet you could clean out some the stuff in there.
Friend: I guess.
After thumbing through various cards and receipts we determined that she could get rid of her various collections of cards for businesses in upstate New York (she lives near Boston) and dump the old MCI phone cards she had from her mother.
Friend: Is MCI even in business anymore?
Me: I think they went under in like 2000. That's pretty bad.
Friend: I guess I can throw it out.
Me: If it makes you feel better, you can recycle it.
Labels: 2008, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Thursday, March 27, 2008 at Thursday, March 27, 2008 | |
Pudding and I arranged to meet a few other colleagues at the elevator to go to have a quick drink after work. We all stood around waiting for a while when he finally showed up with the following explanation.
Pudding: I was emailing "The View."
Me: What? The TV show?
Pudding: Yes, Elizabeth was saying something that was wrong and she was totally missing the point.
I paused a moment to consider what he was saying. I had so many questions about logistics and logic, but I went with the most obvious.
Me: Why would you take any time to email them?
Pudding: It really bothered me. I was doing my civic duty.
Me: I think Elizabeth isn't even viewed as being the most dim-witted on the show. I think one of the women thinks
the world is flat and that
Jesus pre-dates the Greeks.
Pudding: I feel better for sending it.
Me: I should hope so.
Labels: 2008, pudding, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Friday, March 21, 2008 at Friday, March 21, 2008 | |
Last night I stopped by Whole Foods on the way home from work to pick up an item that has been sold out the past several times I've been there: ground bison.
A few months ago I read an article about buffalo and bison meat - about how lean it is and how it's easier to find organic versions. We don't eat a lot of meat, Deeps was raised as a vegetarian.
And while neither of us is a vegetarian, we just tend not to eat much meat in any given week. But whatever I eat, I figured it should be lean and relatively healthy. Up until now, we'd been a turkey family but we've switched over.
This is all to explain why my trip to buy ground bison was weird. I bought six pounds and hauled it over to the check out. The guy behind me in line asked me how it tasted.
I replied that the bison tastes like beef used to taste - it's meaty and kind of rich.
The guy shrugged at me like "What's beef?"
I added that the meat is really lean and has a nice texture.
The guy shrugged at me again like "What's texture?"
Deeps had wandered off to look at the chocolate counter and came back to carry the groceries out.
"What'd that guy want?" he asked.
I shrugged.
Labels: 2008, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Thursday, March 20, 2008 at Thursday, March 20, 2008 | |
Last night we ran a few errands for the newly reorganized home office. Basically, we cleared out a bunch of stuff - I tossed old PC video games I bought my senior year of college. Let's just say I bought them in the early years of the Clinton administration.
Anyway, as we unloaded the car we met up with our neighbor. We chatted a bit and as I started to head into the house I wished him well and said he should enjoy the nice weather until it snows tomorrow.
Neighbor: Is it really supposed to snow this week?
Me: I guess we might get snow and sleet on Wednesday.
Neighbor: Well, I'm done shoveling. Sleet is fine, as long as I don't have to shovel.
Me: I hear ya.
Deeps nudged me as we walked into the house. "You said I was nuts when I wanted to stop shoveling," he said.
"That's because you made that declaration on February 2," I replied.
"I admit, it was a little ambitious."
"This is New England, dear."
Labels: 2008, weather, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, March 18, 2008 at Tuesday, March 18, 2008 | |
Deeps had a birthday this week. We opted to take the day off and do all the stuff that he enjoys.
I had no idea the man liked food so much. I feel like we just ate all day. First a trip to the favorite bakery where they have that muffin he likes; then to the fancy cheese store to see if any delicious new cheese arrived; then to the pizza place in our old neighborhood where you can get lunch for two for around $5; then the most glorious record store in all the land looking for that new thing from that band; then the most lovely comic book store because he heard this one book was really good; then the fantastic used book store because they were having a huge sale; a side trip to get gourmet cupcakes because the place has a great name; and lastly a fine dinner at a little divey joint that serves pretty passable crab cakes.
Exhausting, fantastic, oh and we played video games too.
Looking at this list we did lots of stuff I liked - I might have squeezed in a trip to the pedicurist. But hey - it wasn't my day.
Labels: 2008, marriage, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Thursday, March 13, 2008 at Thursday, March 13, 2008 | |
Last night I tagged along to happy hour to mark our friend, Pudding's birthday. It was a big day for Pudding. He's turning 30 and he finished all three seasons of LOST on DVD in record time. He's nearly caught up to the rest of the viewing world.
We met at a nearby pub where we were greeted by a cute lady bartender, who took our drink order somewhat laconically. She then said to my friend, "Can I see some ID? You just look so..." she trailed off.
My friend is about the same age as I am. She looked somewhat taken aback, but whatever. She handed over my ID. The bartender never asked for mine. She then turned back and said "What did you want again?"
Thus began a night of ferocious ribbing related to my hideous old age.
Friend: You have skin like a baby.
Me: Yes - a mummy's baby. Or a really old baby who collects Social Security.
Friend: You're spry for a woman your age.
And while that was fun, I was ultimately left without being offended. Our bartender was incredibly spacey - forgetting easy drink orders like "a Sam Adams." I reckon that is probably the most common drink ordered in the state of Massachusetts.
Still. I'll drink an extra glass of water today and throw on a little more sunscreen. No need to take these things
too seriously.
Labels: 2008, Boston, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Friday, March 07, 2008 at Friday, March 07, 2008 | |
Last night I walked home up Newbury Street and waited for the light to cross the street to the Boston Public Garden. Several months back the city finally installed a proper stoplight and crosswalk signal for the intersection.
I always wait for the walk signal because I've been hit by a car before. That's how some people learn. Stove hot, cars dangerous. See?
Anyway, the light had been red for several seconds - long enough for cars to be fully stopped and lined up near the crosswalk. I was about half way through the crosswalk when an Audi blew through the red light - in the one open lane - just a few feet from me. If he'd hit me I'd be a dead blogger.
I was so stunned, as were the other pedestrians, that we just stumbled to the sidewalk and stared for a moment as he sped away. I kept heading home. I didn't think much more
about the incident until this morning.
A few minutes ago I had to physically throw myself out of the way of a Honda Element. I know what it was because the grill was dangerously close to my body. Once again I was in a crosswalk, I had the walk sign, I was looking just to be sure and again a car gunned it and blazed around the corner to come within inches of hitting me. It was the closest call I've had in a very long time. I had to take evasive actions to avoid death.
The driver waved and apology. I waved a fist and my giant magenta umbrella. I suppose he didn't see me - like the guy from last night. I'm hard to miss with big red hair, my purple raincoat and my hot pink umbrella.
I suppose I was asking for it. I am perpetrating a
crime against fashion.Labels: 2008, Boston, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, March 05, 2008 at Wednesday, March 05, 2008 | |
Did you know that
Daylight Savings Time begins on Saturday night(ish)? It's a coming. And that means get ready for a case of the crabbies on Monday.
Sleeping schedules are disturbed, the cat is confused about when she's being fed, and the evil jays in the backyard will probably chirp louder in response.
Oh yes, the evil birds are back. They were the last to leave in the fall and the first to arrive a few weeks ago - bullying the robins that were trying to frolic in the backyard.
I haven't seen the groundhog yet. He's going to be disappointed if he thinks anything will be growing anytime soon. Especially tomatoes. I'm banning them from the veggie patch this year. I'm focusing on bell peppers, habaneros, and jalapenos. I'm pretty excited about it.
This is what passes for fun around our house until
Sweeps or birthdays.
Labels: 2008, evil bird, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, March 04, 2008 at Tuesday, March 04, 2008 | |
I found this interesting tidbit on
Apartment Therapy about making your own pet bed. I know several dedicated pet owners and thought they might think it was a little cute, maybe a little funny. So I emailed them the link.
Now go
look at the picture that's linked and come back.
Are you back? Good. My friend, Pudding, shot back a quick reply:
One of the people commenting on the idea/photo referred to the cat in this post as a “sexy kitty.” Really? I don’t know what that means. I mean, I guess the cat’s attractive...
Labels: 2008, pudding, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, February 27, 2008 at Wednesday, February 27, 2008 | |
Last week I went to happy hour - I hadn't been in 2008 so I figured it would be nice to do a little after-work socializing.
About half a beer into the evening, things got interesting. Yes, you read that right. Half a beer. We're older now and don't drink as much.
Anyway, we were chatting about stuff when a friend introduced me to someone new and mentioned that I have a podcast about TV. The new person perked up a lot and started peppering me with questions.
Then she politely said something along the lines of, "All this on top of everything else." My friend looked at her quizzically and the new person shared that she admired my hair. It's big, red and shiny.
This revelation sparked a surreal discussion about my hair with several participants which then segued into a discussion of my eyelashes. Apparently they are also admired by the short-eye lashed people.
Before things got weirder talk turned back to work and kids and LOST. I wasn't sure whether to be flattered or self-conscious.
Anyway, I guess the morale of story is you never know what might happen when half-beers are flying and the
Big Red Podcast lives up to its name.
Labels: 2008, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, February 26, 2008 at Tuesday, February 26, 2008 | |
I think life is filled with little moments - encounters - where you discover you have an opinion about something you'd never really considered before.
For example, when looking for a house we had a checklist of stuff we wanted: three bedrooms, off-street parking, at least two bathrooms. It was a relatively simple list but then we were also applying new criteria based on gathering new information - seeing houses.
Prior to house hunting I didn't have any real thoughts about kitchen sinks. But after going though a few houses we determined we liked undermount sinks where you could wipe down a counter directly into the sink without going over a lip.
Apparently, members of the household have opinions about things that are even more mundane than sinks. This came up last night.
Deeps announced he wasn't interested in leftovers - delicious! - but wanted to make himself a sandwich. His sandwich skills are limited, so I expected he go with an ol' fashioned PB&J.
Me: Be careful with the peanut butter.
Deeps: Why?
Me: It isn't as dense as the stuff we've had in the past.
Deeps: Okay.
Me: It spreads more easily.
Moments later.
Deeps: I don't like this new peanut butter.
Me: Why not?
Deeps: It's too gooey.
Me: I guess I won't buy it again.
Sure - you thought you had sorted through all the opinions you have about peanut butter: delicious/not delicious or creamy/crunchy. But now there's a new dimension to consider: gooey/not gooey.
Oh modern life.
Labels: 2008, marriage, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Thursday, February 21, 2008 at Thursday, February 21, 2008 | |
Yesterday Derek, Deeps and I were talking about hot television options for the week and who might watch what.
For
the podcast, I thought we should watch the network premiere of Dexter on CBS. Derek was in favor of the two hour Knight Rider movie. Deeps wanted to watch Breaking Bad.
I conceded we should watch all three - but had a small conflict since our DVR tuner is capable of recording two shows at once if we watched a third.
Deeps: You should watch Knight Rider from 9 to 11. Then we can record Dexter and Breaking Bad.
Me: That's a good idea, but I never make it to 11.
Derek: Why not?
Me: Because I get up at 6.
Derek: In the morning?
Me: Yes.
Derek looked stunned.
For those who wonder - we figured it out. Breaking Bad has "encore" presentations all through the night and the rest of the week.
And I didn't have the heart to tell him I actually get up around 5:45 - but I round up to six for math purposes
Labels: 2008, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Monday, February 18, 2008 at Monday, February 18, 2008 | |
Yesterday, a friend and I took a quick trip over to a local novelty card shop to search for Valentine cards for our husbands. My friend was also looking for birthday cards to mail out - because that's how she rolls (direct quote).
I looked at about 50 cards. We all did - a small group of us congregated by the huge display of cards. By the way, handling dozens of cards like that requires some quality hand washing afterwards. It is worse than buying towels.
Anyway, nobody seemed especially impressed with their choices. People eventually picked cards and faded back towards the register.
Me: I hate all these cards.
Friend: Some of them are pretty awful. This one is cute.
Me: It has kittens. Deeps isn't fond of the cat, he's never come around on kittens.
Friend: Ah. What about this one?
Me: Dogs make him nervous. He didn't grow up with pets. So animal humor is out of the question.
Friend: That rules out most of your options.
Me: I know! And what I'm left with are horrible entendres that are so obvious that I would go so far as to call then nontendres. Seriously listen to this "I like a big piece of chocolate because it is hard outside and has a creamy center."
Friend: That's the kind of thing you'd think was hilarious and sexy when you were 12.
Me: I know!
Friend: Your other option is puns. Oh God, these are really bad.
Me: Maybe I can get a sincere card.
Friend: They can be pretty earnest.
Me: Yikes. These are just so horribly sincere they come off as ironic.
Friend: What about a blank card?
Me: They have puppies, kittens or babies on them. And they're kind of creepy.
Friend: I think you're out of options.
Me: I'm walking away empty-handed.
Friend: But I suspect you've gotten a blog post out of it.
Me: Good point.
Labels: 2008, holidays, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, February 13, 2008 at Wednesday, February 13, 2008 | |
As you may know, I commute into Boston every morning. It's a short distance to travel, but takes a while because I'm in the exciting world of public transportation as provided by the MBTA. I ride the local subway and bus, we call it the T.
Now that you have that little bit of information - you should know that a lot of
skeevy things have been happening on the T lately. Apparently a lot of groping, exposing, and other stuff has been happening.
I have been spared any of the recent indignities. Usually I suffer from being dripped on by a soaked umbrella, being blasted with some form of body odor, overly chatty drunks, or I sit next to a chronic sniffler. Nothing more than the usual weirdness we must all endure.
Apparently I've been very lucky. I read on
Universal Hub yesterday - well, you should just go read it and then come back. I'll wait. Go on, it's quick.
Shocking, huh? We're bombarded with mixed messages from the T - if you see something, say something. And then we get some hockey player over the PA telling us he takes the T to work all the time. Then the MBTA employees are like, eh, creepy is part of our charm!
While the story is disturbing, I can't say that I'm especially surprised. Even the part about red heads. Wait. Red Heads! They're targeting my people now?
I need to make sure I'm wearing my stomping shoes.
Labels: 2008, Boston, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, February 06, 2008 at Wednesday, February 06, 2008 | |
Yesterday I spent a bit of time trying to convince a friend that he should start watching LOST. He's kind of, vaguely intrigued but seemed intimidated by the three seasons of content he'd have to make it through before season 4 (however short) would start.
I suggested he check out the "
Everything You Need to Know About Lost" summary of the previous three seasons - conveniently in 8 minutes and 15 seconds. Then I directed him to a Dharma initiative video - I picked
Orientation 1.
I'm not really sure why I was so adamant about him watching - but in light of so little that is interesting being available on TV, it seems like a good way to go. Lunch time discussion is more interesting when everyone knows a bit about the subject matter.
Last week I was trying to explain what the
Match Game is, and frankly... while
Brett Somers was a charming woman and
Charles Nelson Reilly was a bon vivant - it doesn't hold a candle to giant, invisible monster, slightly rumpled hotties and the ever looming dread of
craphole island.
Labels: 2008, television, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Friday, February 01, 2008 at Friday, February 01, 2008 | |
Ever have a day where you could easily break into heaving sobs or slug someone in the face? I had a day like that yesterday.
These things happen. I'm not much for crying and punching people is frowned upon. So I have to come up with a different solution for blowing off steam.
I have been getting up in the wee hours of the morning to hit the treadmill and do a little cardio, combined with light strength training. That helps. But last night, it was not enough.
My mood was so foul that really only thing could snap me out of my funk - a little jalapeno pizza and blowing up stuff. Deeps suggested we pick up a pizza on the way home and then spend some quality time playing
Lego Star Wars for the Wii.
I'm not a super huge Star Wars fan. I've seen the original three films - but I somehow skipped most of the newest three. So some parts of the game are confusing and unfamiliar. But I wield a light saber with the best of them.
Okay, sometimes I accidentally kill Deeps. But he's a good sport about it.
That's really important in a husband: the ability to forgive video game fouls, to know when your wife needs pizza for dinner, and to know that sometimes when she mutters to herself while flying around and killing stuff - well, that's best left without further comment.
Labels: 2008, marriage, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, January 29, 2008 at Tuesday, January 29, 2008 | |
I'm in Florida on business again this January. It rained a lot again, but isn't as cold as last year. So there's that.
The trip has been very productive - but like all travel away from home it has a few downsides. This one is very specific. Toiletries.
Since the TSA cracks down on the volume of toiletries you can take on a plane, I have stopped carrying the remnants of shampoo, soap and what have you.
The hotel has been generous enough to provide shampoo, conditioner and a bar of soap. Tonight, after a tough day where I got rained on a few times I opted for a nice hot shower. I dumped a handful of shampoo in my hair and a worked it into a lather. Suddenly a familiar smell hit me.
I looked at the bottle which described the shampoo as featuring special spruce and cedar oils. Now I smell like Pine-Sol.
That's not the way I wanted to smell. But I guess it could be worse. I just remind people to clean their floors.
Labels: 2008, travel, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Thursday, January 24, 2008 at Thursday, January 24, 2008 | |
I rolled in to see the nerds very briefly on Friday night. After a long day at the office, I was kind of beat. So I didn't stay long, but I offered up a few helpful identifiers for puzzles.
Apparently I'm your source for photos of young celebrities who are now old, once prominent German tennis players, founding fathers, and ex-presidents. It's a gift, really.
Deeps came home after the first "night" sometime around 4:30 in the morning. Like all people coming home late at night, trying not to wake their spouses he is at his loudest. Luckily, he just smelled of Mountain Dew and Doritos.
After an exciting brunch at a local diner, he headed back to the grind. I ran a bunch of errands. And last night, I dreamed in German. I made jokes, I was witty, and I chatted with German tourists visiting Boston.
To the best of my knowledge, I don't speak German. At least when I'm awake.
Labels: 2008, marriage, nerds, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Sunday, January 20, 2008 at Sunday, January 20, 2008 | |
A few years ago Deeps gave me a little single-cup coffee maker. We call it "the fancy coffee maker" although, it isn't especially fancy given that you can find it on your average Target end cap display. But whatever. It is fancy to me!
Deeps doesn't drink coffee and I usually only have time for a cup in the AM so this little coffee maker - it uses single serve pods - works pretty well for me. Except the coffee in the pods is hideous.
It's weak, it's dull, and it's a little too expensive for something so crappy. I've tolerated this for a few years but a couple of weeks ago I started trying to hack the Senseo.
First, I tried making my own pods with tea filters. I'd read that other people had done it successfully - but clearly they are better with their arts and crafts skills than I am. I just made a big, watery mess with coffee everywhere except in the cup.
I kind of gave up for a while, but then I spotted something on Amazon that would allow me to use my own coffee without filters. I debated ordering it, but finally took the plunge and could not be more pleased.
Now I have the extremely delicious and dark French Roast in the morning. No weak, lame coffee for me. And that's important because I am down to one cup of caffeinated coffee a day. It makes me so happy in the morning, I don't even mind hauling out of bed at an ungodly hour for work.
Deeps noted that I wasn't so grumpy in the morning. French Roast saves marriages! I don't have to waste money buying supplemental coffee at work. French Roast is fiscally sound!
I heart you, delicious coffee.
Labels: 2008, marriage, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, January 16, 2008 at Wednesday, January 16, 2008 | |
A few months ago I was chatting with a friend over a hearty brunch. We were discussing vocations and work and jobs. She was debating the switch from full-time office worker to full-time artisan. She makes pottery and other mixed-medium art pieces.
To help her to become a better potter, she attended a weeks-long workshop. Like camp for artists.
She told us all about how gorgeous the place was, how much she learned and how she got to see how other artists work in different mediums.
Apparently the glassblowers are a breed unto themselves.
Me: So what does that mean?
Potter: They just work in a different way. What they do is more dangerous.
Me: Ah. So they're daredevils.
Potter: Yes. But we have a name for them.
Me: Yeah?
Potter: (whispering) Glassholes.
I laughed for minutes. And now, months later - I still find that pretty hilarious.
Labels: 2008, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Friday, January 11, 2008 at Friday, January 11, 2008 | |
Tomorrow is the presidential
primary in New Hampshire. People will vote, a front-runner might emerge, and the race will continue.
Today I watched an endeavoring anchorman interview some "undecided" voters. They said they were undecided but their biggest issue was health care.
Every question the anchor asked the people to help them narrow their choices, was met by "I don't know." After several moments the anchor said rather exasperated "So is this just something that is going to happen in the ballot box?" to which he got a resounding "Yes."
At this point I don't know if people are just that casual about politics in New Hampshire or if they're just that savvy. Some of the candidates have been campaigning in New Hampshire for over a year.
They've probably been to the house of every inhabitant of the Granite State. In fact,
my friend's modest requests could probably be met by a few of them. She is looking for a babysitter and diaper helper. I suggest that she also ask for a little snow shoveling.
Anyway, my point is - after all this time you're still "undecided?" Sometimes I can't figure out what I want for dinner. Not to get up on my civic duty soap box but, come on people. We're picking a leader - not apples. Take a few moments, read something, and think.
Then tell me what you're having for dinner.
Labels: 2008, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Monday, January 07, 2008 at Monday, January 07, 2008 | |
Deeps and I went to a party on New Year's eve; we chatted with some guests and the topic of resolutions came up.
Someone asked what my resolution was this year. I suggested that I'd be more diligent about recycling and wanted to increase the amount of trash I recycle.
Friend: I thought you'd have something really grand and elaborate.
Me: I think recycling is a good resolution.
Friend: But it is so specific. Usually resolutions are vague and something you don't actually plan on doing.
Me: Just when you think I'm going to zig - I zag.
Labels: 2008, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, January 02, 2008 at Wednesday, January 02, 2008 | |
I've been putting off dealing with a big pile of papers in our home office for about... six months.
Despite removing my name from mailing lists, going to paperless billing and the like I still get a lot of paper with identifiable information. So I shred.
I sorted through lots of paper to make piles for filing, paper for recycling and paper for shredding.
As I neared the end of organizing, I grabbed a few sheets of paper to shred in the magnificent five sheet shredder. It's not industrial-sized or anything but it works.
Or rather it worked.
After a few previous shredder mishaps I've opted to be careful and only shred one piece of paper at a time. That worked pretty well, until I got to a sheet folded onto itself so that the sheet was essentially a three-ply.
The shredder is built to shred up to five sheets at a time, so three should have been no problem.
It was a problem.
So now I have a big pile of stuff to shred and I'm staring at the big shredder. I'll just do one piece at a time and give it lots of breaks.
Deeps is accusing me of murdering more electronics. He might be right.
Labels: 2007, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, December 26, 2007 at Wednesday, December 26, 2007 | |
Every year I'm a little surprised that so many car companies advertise their cars as holiday gifts. Look, I like a nice present as much as the next person - but a car?
How do you buy a car for your spouse without him/her knowing? Don't you have to discuss big purchases like this?
These commercials raise lots of troubling questions about personal finance and how relationships work.
Would you be thrilled or angry if your person brought home a new car as a surprise? I'm leaning towards annoyed with a tinge of anger. Why were you holding back so much money for so long? Was it in a high-yield savings account? Did you have a great run in the stock market?
Or worse...
How did you think we'd pay for this freaking thing?
Guess I'm not the target market for these ads.
Labels: 2007, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, December 19, 2007 at Wednesday, December 19, 2007 | |
My father-in-law been hounding Deeps for several years about a GPS navigation system. Namely FIL would like to give us one.
We like gadgets - but we like stuff we're likely to use. We're just not likely to use the GPS. New England maps are notoriously unreliable, stuff is forever being re-routed. And our non-digital solution means that every time we get in the car we have an adventure.
I'm not trying to put rose-colored glasses on the situation - it's always an adventure. A nerve-wracking, hair-raising adventure that will one day result in our deaths.
Anyway.
A box arrived in the mail and inside was a GPS navigator for the car - Merry Christmas, love FIL. Despite the stupidity of the gift, we decided to take it for a test run out to suburbs we don't really know very well.
Out of the gate, the GPS told us to take a non-preferred route to interstate 93. Deeps ignored the weird, computery voice. I think the voice started to get mad at us.
It kept demanding that we turn right. Eventually we made our way to the highway and the GPS started to squawk again.
GPS: garbled
Me: What's it saying?
Deeps: Can you turn it up?
Me: It's at max volume.
Deeps: Is it saying Tarpulin?
Me: Is there an exit we should be taking.
Deeps: I don't really understand this thing.
About 10 minutes later we determined that the GPS was mispronouncing "Carpool Lane".
Just as we solved that mystery, we entered some tunnels and then things took a turn.
GPS: You have arrived at your destination.
Me: Uhm - you're wrong.
Deeps: We're in the middle of a tunnel.
Me: I don't see any amazing stores near by.
Deeps: I suppose you could do some holiday shopping here, but you'd probably be disappointed.
Me: Especially when you got run over by a giant truck.
Eventually we left the tunnel and I started pushing buttons to get the GPS to remember the destination we'd programmed.
Deeps: It doesn't seem that bad. It just got a little confused.
Me: You can't replace me with this - I'm the family navigator. I don't get us lost.
Deeps: Except when you miss the turn.
Me: That's because you don't listen.
Deeps: *muttering*
Me: And you don't listen to your Robot Girlfriend either.
Deeps: Whatever.
Me: She won't make you soup when you're sick.
Deeps: This is a very generous but ridiculous gift.
Me: I know.
Deeps: It isn't really very practical for us.
Me: I know.
Deeps: I don't know why they insist on giving us stuff like this.
Me: It is the magic of the holidays.
Labels: 2007, marriage, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, December 11, 2007 at Tuesday, December 11, 2007 | |
Earlier in the week I took a quick break from the office to run over to the local bookstore to pick up a book I'd heard about.
My friend offered to tag along for the promise of a hot cocoa - plus she had a coupon for 25% off of my book. Score!
I found the book quickly, we savored the cocoa and headed to the checkout. A 20-something guy was running the register.
As he was ringing me up, he commented on the cover of the book. He noted it looked interesting.
"I hope it is," I replied. "The writer is my MySpace friend. It would be awkward if it sucked."
Register dude took this opening as an opportunity to tell me about his MySpace relationships and then he noticed my friend looking at a little book of hip stuff. He started quoting from it to her.
We both nodded, smiled and made reassuring sounds.
I quickly paid for the book and beat a hasty retreat out of the store, bumping into my friend as I steered her towards the door.
My friend was giggling at my reaction.
Friend: Your new friend is probably sorry to see you go.
Me: Yeah, that didn't go the way I'd hoped.
Friend: He thinks you are very hip.
Me: I was going for weird. I suppose I could have ended everything by just saying "Yes the cover is interesting" but no - I decided to go for the absurd.
Friend: It happens.
Me: Sometimes I can't help myself. I like to explore the theater of the awkward. I'm having that kind of day.
Friend: You can't always weird people out.
Me: I guess.
Friend: Things were going so well, then he just overstepped.
Me: That's the part that is intriguing. What takes it from pleasant to awkward so quickly?
Friend: I don't think he was interested in us. He was just kind of bored.
Me: And weird. I hate when theater of the awkward blows back at me.
Friend: I suppose it is part of the job.
Me: Sometimes I have to suffer for my art.
Labels: 2007, Boston, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Saturday, December 08, 2007 at Saturday, December 08, 2007 | |
Tomorrow I'm waiting at home for a delivery - boring! So I thought this would be a good opportunity to get my baking on.
I really thought Deeps would step up over Thanksgiving to bake me some biscotti. Didn't happen. But with gentle coaxing from me - I think he's up for some hot oven action.
That sounds dirty.
Anyway, we're planning on doing some fun holiday baking to remind our neighbors that we are still around and to not hate us when we don't rake our leaves in a timely manner.
Plus it is easier to lure friends over with the promise of fresh baked goods. Actually, they call to invite themselves over to play with the Wii - but whatever. I still have friends.
Labels: 2007, marriage, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Friday, November 30, 2007 at Friday, November 30, 2007 | |
Earlier this week I picked up a loaf of some kind of organic wheat bread from Trader Joe's. I've noticed something a little strange about it. It doesn't really toast.
Me: Do you think there is something wrong with the toaster? This bread doesn't really change color when you toast it.
Deeps: Does it toast? Is the texture different?
Me: A little.
Deeps: Interesting. When I made toast with the other bread it worked fine.
Me: I think it is the bread. It's too dense or something.
Deeps: Maybe it is untoastable because it is organic and good for you.
Me: That's probably wrong.
Deeps: Like Pop Tarts. They don't really toast. They just get hot.
Me: You're thinking is probably flawed.
Deeps: This could change everything.
Labels: 2007, marriage, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Thursday, November 29, 2007 at Thursday, November 29, 2007 | |
A few weeks ago, the much heralded and beloved,
David Armano, was in town for business.
David and I worked together about ten years - as I had to remind him - back in Chicago. I think I last saw him when Deeps and I got married. As I am an old, married lady now - it's been a while.
Scott Monty organized a meet-up for those who wanted to get up close to the Great One. I just wanted to see my old drinking buddy.
Everyone chatted, we had a great time and sucked down some pumpkin beers. When the evening wound down, I walked down the street with David back to his hotel. Deeps and I had arranged for a pick me up nearby. Someone has to work late on secret projects. It doesn't always have to be me.
Anyway, we chatted on the sidewalk, marveling at the oddness of the the urban canyons around Kendall square. Somehow we ended up at the wrong hotel, which was confirmed when we spoke with the clerk at the front desk.
As we walked out of the building, a man paused briefly and said, "Hi David."
David smiled and said hello and we walked on.
I asked David who the guy was. He didn't know.
I suggested that perhaps the guy might be attending the same event he was. Or he was a stalker.
David thought it was strange that someone he didn't know, in a city where he doesn't live, might know him. I suggested that David hasn't looked at his Web site lately.
Then he stopped, and in a monumental moment he asked
"Does that mean I'm a weblebrity?"
We were silent for a moment. And then we started to laugh.
Labels: 2007, Boston, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, November 28, 2007 at Wednesday, November 28, 2007 | |
I had a day yesterday.
I got soaked in a "light" rain.
Lunch was bad.
My big mouth might have gotten me into some trouble.
An older woman hip-checked me, twice, on the T to get a seat.
When you have a day like this, there's really only one thing to do: go to bed. I sacked out sometime around 8:15.
I expect today to better. Do you hear me, Today? BETTER!
Labels: filler, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, November 27, 2007 at Tuesday, November 27, 2007 | |
We're about to head into a second round of turkey - leftover from earlier today - and I thought this would be a good time to start thinking about tomorrow. Will my pants still fit? Will Deeps and I be able to leave the house or will we need the jaws of life to squeeze out the door?
You know - the little things.
One thing we've talked a bit about is whether or not we need to do any holiday shopping. The general consensus was no - but I thought I'd share a little tip in light of a recent trip to a Buy More store.
We went to pick up a video game and a video game controller. The grand total was about $50. The cashier started to put the h
ard sell on me to purchase some special warranties to cover my products."These things break down all the time," he assured me. "If you pay an extra $5.99 for the controller and $10.99 for the game, we'll replace them if anything happens."
I politely declined; he yammered on about how poorly made the products are.
Deeps and I beat a hasty retreat back to our car, reminded why we like shopping online and wondering about the mixed messages that Buy More is sending us. What is the incentive to keep your stock clean, intact and functional?
Buy our junky stuff, then buy a little more.
Labels: 2007, filler, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Thursday, November 22, 2007 at Thursday, November 22, 2007 | |
Deeps and I are having a relaxed and quiet Thanksgiving at home. Just us, the cat, and the Wii. We hear there might be snow.
Normally I'd go for Thanksgiving in a box - but since it is just us, I figured I'd go smaller - less than a 30 pound bird. I think we can still feel full on less than 15 pounds of turkey. Each.
Deeps might bake this year. This is about the time of year when he gets intrigued by baking complicated stuff. I think it appeals to the scientist in him. His kitchen creations live somewhere between
Good Eats and
Mythbusters.
I can only hope whatever he comes up with is delicious. And doesn't explode.
Labels: 2007, marriage, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, November 20, 2007 at Tuesday, November 20, 2007 | |
It's starting to get a little chilly 'round these parts. That's pretty typical for New England this time of year.
Last night Deeps was sorting through some winter gear - gloves, hats, and scarves - when he noticed that his "favorite scarf" was a mess of holes and tears.
Deeps: It looks like something ate it.
Me: What? Are the others eaten?
Deeps: Just mine.
I pulled out the little storage baskets holding our stuff and noticed a couple of dead moths behind them. Eww.
Me: I guess a moth ate your scarf.
Deeps: We should have used mothballs.
Me: No.
Deeps: It would have saved my scarf.
Me: But we'd have smelled like mothballs. That is totally unacceptable. Besides, who has stuff eaten by moths anymore? Is this Dickensian England?
Deeps: I really liked that scarf.
I'm going to hear about this for a while. But there will be no mothballs. Cedar balls, lavender oil, whatever - no mothballs. The smell... Our marriage couldn't take it.
Labels: 2007, Boston, marriage, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Friday, November 09, 2007 at Friday, November 09, 2007 | |
Actually, this post is more about how you shouldn't talk to famous people.
Last week I had the unique opportunity to see
Salman Rushdie give a talk about writing at the Boston Public Library. He spoke for about an hour and discussed political writing, religion, freedom of expression, and the role of the novel in the modern world.
I'm a big fan of Rushdie's work. I haven't read all of his novels, but I try to read one a year - they are so dense and fantastic that I really take my time with them. I luxuriate in them and take weeks to finish. The man is a genius – I don’t use that term lightly here - and I admire his work a great deal.
But back to the library….
The room was packed. I noted several students talking about having to read Rushdie for a class. I sat next to a very cute, elderly couple. She was working on sudoku and he was doing a crossword puzzle before the talk began.
On my other side a very well-dressed business man fidgeted with his expensive watch. I heard him mention to his friend, another well-appointed gentleman, that he had never read any of Rushdie's work. The friend confessed he hadn't either.
Someone nearby was wearing way too much cologne. I surreptitiously breathed through my mouth, sometimes digging my nose into my shoulder.
After Rushdie spoke, he offered to hang around for a few more minutes to answer some questions. Rushdie was fighting a cold and I thought it was rather generous to offer to spend more time talking when clearly wasn't that well.
He asked, rather simply, that we stick to questions and avoid making speeches. Clearly he's been to
Q&A sessions at the Brattle Theater.
The first question was a brief one about religion. Rushdie offered a clear, cogent argument for his position while being charming and funny.
The next question was from a man who started by saying something along the lines of "I too have been the victim of persecution. A fatwa, if you will....." then the guy rambled for another minute about his own works, plugging a book and alluding to an appearance in several well-known magazines.
Everyone slumped into their seats as soon as they realized a rambler had gotten a hold of the microphone and it appeared little could be done to shut him up. Finally, the man next to me - fancy watch - decided he'd had enough and started to shout down the blowhard. A few other audience members rumbled their agreement.
Rushdie finally was able to break in and noted "I didn't hear a question, but I'll find one anyway..." and talked about freedom of speech and expression in the US and UK.
I suppose the irony was lost on fancy watch - trying to shut up someone at a talk that covered communication and the first amendment. But then again, fancy watch was well within his rights to express his views.
Boorishness is protected by the first amendment, but it doesn't mean we have to listen to it.
Labels: 2007, Boston, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, November 07, 2007 at Wednesday, November 07, 2007 | |
Deeps
sent me this link, because he likes to help make the blog even better.
That's what he says anyway. I can't say that I really believe him.
Labels: 2007, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, November 06, 2007 at Tuesday, November 06, 2007 | |
I listen to the PRI podcasts for Marketplace a day after they air - last night while walking to the T I listened to Monday's podcast.
Near the end of the episode I heard a funny piece from
Sandra Tsing Loh about shady Halloween stores. While hunting for a costume for her 2nd grader she mentioned that many of the displays in those places are graphic and freaked out her kids.
I chuckled a bit and thought nothing more of it.
Then around 11:15 last night, minutes after I fell asleep, I awoke to the sound of screaming. My screaming. Apparently I'd had one of those weird, brief nightmares where I'm not so out that I can't still move around. I was sitting up, swinging at the imaginary skeleton that was hanging over my bed. The skeleton looked like the type Tsing Loh described in her piece.
Clearly I was working through some issues with Public Radio and Halloween.
Deeps raced up the stairs to find me laughing at my stupid dream.
Me: It was just a nightmare.
Deeps: You're okay?
Me: Yeah. And don't worry. Whatever it was, I was punching the hell out of it anyway.
Deeps: When I come to bed, I'm going to announce it so you don't punch me.
Me: That's probably a good idea.
Labels: 2007, marriage, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, October 17, 2007 at Wednesday, October 17, 2007 | |
Yesterday I pitched a solution to my family for a new holiday celebration called LyssMas.
See, they live in the midwest and I live in the Boston area. Every year I fly out for Christmas and things are nuts. I'm the only one who has to fly and since several members of the family haven't flown for a while, they've forgotten how horrific it can be.
Holidays + stress + airline delays x the TSA = enormous pain in the heiny. Desperate times call for creative solutions and that's how I came up with LyssMas.
LyssMas is a four-day holiday sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I haven't discovered all the fun, cultural traditions yet - like do we have Turkey or Ham or maybe enchiladas.
I'm really hoping for enchiladas.
Anyway, I think the other good thing about LyssMas is that I don't have to shop for the holidays. I just hand out $20 bills and dental floss. Flossing is important. This is a win/win situation for me - I can fly during a less stressful time, I catch up with the family, and I get to remind people about important dental care.
LyssMas could sweep the nation.
Labels: 2007, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, October 16, 2007 at Tuesday, October 16, 2007 | |
Last night around 10:30 we heard this weird thump and felt the house shake. Since it was raining pretty hard at the time I thought maybe there was a car crash - but it didn't really sound like it.
Deeps and I went outside to investigate along with several of our neighbors.
The tree across the street fell down. It was a big tree - similar to the tree in front of our house. It fell along the sidewalk so neither the house or the car parked in the driveway were damaged. No injuries, no damage - what luck!
I threw Deeps a flashlight and he inspected the situation with some of our neighbors while I called the cops to let them know what's what. By 11 I heard the chainsaws and my 11:30 the industrial woodchipper was silent.
In fact, everything happened so fast that I didn't even have time to take a picture. This morning a few logs are on the side of the street, but that's it. I'm not sure the people across the street were home. They may not know what happened.
Labels: 2007. weather, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Friday, October 12, 2007 at Friday, October 12, 2007 | |
Yesterday I was riding the T, minding my own business when lovely woman sitting near me gently tapped by arm.
In very hushed tones she asked if I color my hair. Of course I do. God, this red hair doesn't just grow in.
Anyway, after some careful negotiations I gave her the name of my salon and the name of my hair stylist. She's going for the same red I have.
A couple of weeks ago we were at the grocery store check-out. A cashier from a few aisles over approached to ask me about my hair. She wanted the name of the color, any information, if I had it.
Usually these encounters happen when I'm washing my hands in the ladies room (or worse, waiting in line at the loo). I'm surprised every time.
Looking back, I'm not sure if it was a good idea to give the lady on the train my hair information. Can you use that to steal someone's identity? Probably not.
Unless she goes all
Single White Female on me.
Labels: 2007, hair, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, October 03, 2007 at Wednesday, October 03, 2007 | |
At the end of the summer we look at the list of projects we wanted to do and see how we fared. And we check to see if there is anything more we'd like to get finished before winter.
We were talking about putting in a new storm door when I raised a topic that's been bugging me for a few days.
Me: The toilet has been making weird sounds for a while.
Deeps: Oh yeah?
Me: It gurgles and glugs.
Deeps: It's always done that.
Me: I don't think it's supposed to be so noisy.
Deeps: I don't know if it's a big deal.
Me: I think the toilet might be haunted.
Deeps: I don't think so.
Me: It's unhappy and wants to make itself heard. Heed my warning! The toilet is haunted.
Deeps: I can try to fix it.
Me: That's all I want.
Deeps: That reminds me, we should pick up Halloween candy soon.
Labels: 2007, marriage, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, October 02, 2007 at Tuesday, October 02, 2007 | |
It's Fall, so squirrels are getting ready for winter. I thought they collected acorns, but
this photo reveals that perhaps they have a more sophisticated palette.
Labels: 2007, animals, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Monday, October 01, 2007 at Monday, October 01, 2007 | |
I can always count on my hair stylist (I call her hair lady) for two things. First, she always gives me a fantastic cut and second she reminds me that I'm moving closer to middle age with each passing day.
She was going on and on about her little kittens - she's in love - when a woman walked from the changing area with her special salon robe. She passed a large table piled high with magazines and knocked one over. Like dominoes, the magazines tumbled to the floor.
After replacing all the magazines rather precariously she backed away. But the crash was repeated a few times. I identified the culprit - September's Vogue magazine.
Me: The September Vogue is so huge it's knocking everything off the table.
Hair Lady: I know, it's really enormous.
Me: It reminds me of the Sears catalog at Christmas.
HL: The what?
Me: My mom always got a big Sears catalog around the holidays. My sister and I would sneak it away and make a giant Christmas list from it.
HL: Like the IKEA catalog?
Me: You never had a Sears catalog as a child?
HL: I heard about it.
Me: I'm not that much older than you!
And she was totally humoring me with the whole "I heard about it" business.
I still tipped her anyway. She gave me an excellent scalp massage.
Labels: 2007, hair, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Thursday, September 20, 2007 at Thursday, September 20, 2007 | |
Boston is apparently a
popular place to shoot movies - three different films are shooting (or about to shoot) in the metro area. For those who like to keep score the movies are
Bachelor No. 2, a remake of
The Women, and
Pink Panther 2.
America has really been clamoring for that last one.
Anyway, I spotted
The Women shooting while I walked home from the office a couple of days ago. Yesterday I was waiting in line to buy some yogurt at a little market on Charles St. when I overheard a well-dressed couple behind me discussing the action in the neighborhood.
She: I saw them shooting. I didn't see Meg Ryan.
He: What were they shooting?
She: Something on Newbury St. Except they had yellow cabs outside that said New York.
He: Really? So they are shooting Boston for New York.
She: I think so. That is just too bad.
He: I hate when they do that. That's just terrible.
She: It ruins the movie.
The 1939 version of
The Women is a
George Cukor classic about women, class, sex, and love. It's campy, it's funny, it's melodramatic, it has Joan Crawford.
Do you know who is playing the Joan Crawford - America's most terrifying actress - role in the update?
Eva Mendes.
If the movie is bad, I hardly think it will be the fault of shooting Boston for New York.
Labels: 2007, Boston, movies, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Thursday, August 30, 2007 at Thursday, August 30, 2007 | |
On Friday night we decided to walk to dinner. It was a nice evening, the weather sun was low in the sky and we strolled through the neighborhood towards delicious vittles.
We were only a few blocks from our house when we heard this kind of unusual sound.
Deeps: What's that?
Me: Birds?
Deeps: Is someone crying?
Me: Maybe an animal is injured?
We walked ahead and discovered balloons and banners noting a
High School Musical party at someone's house. The sound we heard was young girls singing along to HSM, anxiously awaiting the debut of HSM2.
Deeps: So that is the sound of teenage girls singing?
Me: I think they might be pre-teens. When you're actually in High School you're not interested in High School-oriented pop culture.
Deeps: What?
Me: I call it the Seventeen effect. You don't read Seventeen magazine when you're actually 17. You read it when you're like... 12 because you aspire to be older.
Deeps: Wow. Girls have complicated lives.
Me: Tell me something I don't know.
Labels: 2007, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Thursday, August 23, 2007 at Thursday, August 23, 2007 | |
This morning I made a terrible discovery while watering my little veggie patch - the
groundhog, aka Hoggy, likes tomatoes.
I found several big red tomatoes, ready for picking and still on the vine, partially eaten. Hoggy has bothered with my bell or jalapeno peppers. But the tomatoes are toast - bruschetta perhaps?
Anyway, I've got to start waging my war against Hoggy. I thought we could co-exist peacefully - with my cat staring at him through the window as he sunned himself in the yard. He could eat my hostas, but the tomatoes are off limits.
And so it begins. Let loose the dogs (or cats) of war. I gotta find some mothballs... and maybe
Bill Murray.
Labels: 2007, animals, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, August 22, 2007 at Wednesday, August 22, 2007 | |
This morning we were driving to work - well, Deeps was giving me a courtesy drop-off closer to the train station on his way to work.
We were having a very pleasant morning. We chatted a bit about the day and we approached a big intersection. A few bicyclists rode past us and we gave them some space at the red light.
It had been red for a few moments and we slowly rolled to a stop.
Then a big thud jostled us both.
A lady had hit us from behind. If she'd hit us much harder, she'd have pushed us into the cyclists.
I might have busted out something like, "Oh my goodness gracious me!" - or WTF!. I can't be sure. Deeps and I turned to look at the woman behind us. She just did a little shoulder shrug like "whoops." She didn't get out of the car.
She didn't hit us very hard, but she did hit us. We quickly popped out of the car to assess any damage. There wasn't any. Bumpers are for bumping, we reminded ourselves. She never bothered to inspect the damage to her car or ours. She just waved at us - like the the prom queen.
Last year a careless person hit us at an intersection close to our house. She apologized and owned up to what she did immediately. The dummy behind us this morning
refused to take any personal responsibility by even offering up an apology.
I got back in the car with disgust, Deeps pulled away and we assessed the situation.
Deeps: I'm not even sure what to say to someone that stupid so early in the day.
Me: You tell her that she shouldn't be such an irresponsible %@$#!.
Deeps: I'm not going to call her that.
Me: I know - that's what I'm here for. I swear for the family.
I'm hoping this won't be an annual event.The car wreck - not the swearing. That's a weekly event.
Oh who am I kidding?
Labels: 2007, filler, marriage, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, August 15, 2007 at Wednesday, August 15, 2007 | |
I know HBO series usually wrap before airing - so it is probably too late for
Flight of the Conchords to tackle the
4Real/Superman issue. But I'd like to think if there is a season 2, they'll take a shot.
Also - I this week's episode, Girlfriends, became my new favorite.
Labels: 2007, television, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Thursday, August 09, 2007 at Thursday, August 09, 2007 | |
Whenever it is hot, the best service you can hope for from the T is something that is not too hot. If you're lucky it isn't smelly either.
Tonight I skipped a packed train to wait for the next one. I threw a few elbows and made it aboard. Behind me a rather tall and attractive man climbed aboard. He stood near me and an amazing smell overwhelmed me.
Chicken McNuggets.
Then I looked over to see that he was indeed clutching a small McDonald's bag. He'd fished out a hot apple pie to snack on. I figured there were some McNuggets in the bag.
When he finished the first apple pie, he pulled out another and chowed down. Then he wadded up the empty bag.
Apple pies that smell like McNuggets. What will they think of next?
Labels: 2007, Boston, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, July 25, 2007 at Wednesday, July 25, 2007 | |
A lot of people on the T were reading the latest Harry Potter book. In fact, I didn't really hear any discussion of the book in public yesterday. Instead, you'd hear these hushed tones and see conspiratorial looks.
Random Person: Did you read it yet?Me: Yes.
Random Person: Do you want to talk about it?Me: Sure! But why are you acting so weird?
Random Person: I don't know who has read it yet!Me: Right. That's very thoughtful of you.
I could make a joke about how I've never seen such sensitivity and care displayed to fellow Bostonians in years. But that seems cheap.
Random Person: So, what did you think about .....?
And it would continue from there. You'd think we were plotting to overthrow something or - better yet - throw a surprise party or something.
As it is now, I'm trying to recruit some people for a special Harry Potter podcast,
per Jacki's suggestion. That way we can make a podcast that covers more and is easy to skip if you haven't read the books yet.
Labels: 2007, books, Boston, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, July 24, 2007 at Tuesday, July 24, 2007 | |
So the granite wasn't ready in time for installation today. But we'll get it tomorrow - that's cool. Still less than 2 weeks going end to end on the project and I find that to be totally acceptable.
In other news, I saw an evil blue jay attack a little tabby cat from down the street. We were walking around and spotted the cat in the street - she looked kind of alarmed. Then I noticed the small family of jays circling about. A particularly brave (and vicious) one buzzed very closely to the cat and she flipped out.
I believe that bird attack might have triggered a cat attack later - Poopus was in the window and freaked out about something. She turned on me and I thwarted her attempts at murdering me with a throw and a pillow.
I can feel it coming in the air tonight. Hold on. Or something like that.
Labels: 2007, evil bird, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at Wednesday, July 11, 2007 | |
Earlier today I wrote that despite the heat I'd been lucky in getting a) a relatively cool car on the T b) avoiding the hideous body odor of strangers and c) not really seeing anything too weird.
I got it all in one long commute today.
Frankly, I wasn't especially surprised that the T was both
hot and crowded. This is the time of year when I get a little paranoid climbing around in Park St. station - I fear someone won't being paying attention and will knock me down into the tracks. Irrational fear? Possibly.
The smells were almost awe-inspiring. If I were some kind of stinkologist I'd have had a field day.
And lastly, the weird stuff. Look - I've seen some tube tops, some short-shorts and flip flops. It's not the end of the world. But then this morning I spotted a rather hirsute gentleman walking towards me on Commonwealth Avenue. He was wearing very nice trousers and carried a small gym bag. Draped over the bag was his shirt.
That's how I knew he was hairy - no freakin' shirt!
Look, I'm willing to over look the shirtless look for many, but a middle-aged businessman walking from his gorgeous brownstone to his fancy car (honestly) was a little too much.
Maybe I'm just being classist. The wealthy sweat too.
Labels: 2007, Boston, weather, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, June 27, 2007 at Wednesday, June 27, 2007 | |
Our friends dropped by last night to escape the heat and blow off a little steam. Wait - is that a pun? Whatever.
Since we got the Wii our drop by rate has increased. That's cool with me, we're pretty social creatures and the chance that someone might just drop by forces us keep the house tidy. Win win!
Anyway, since we were going to be playing video games (Mario Party 8) I asked Deeps to record some shows.
Me: Hey are you taping The Closer?
Deeps: Yeah, and it looks like something else is taping.
Me: I can't remember.
Deeps: Oh - it's your Kyle XY.
Me: I'm doing it
for the podcast.
Deeps: Sure you are.
Me: Hey can you tape
Age of Love?
Deeps: For the podcast?
Me: I'm taking one for the team!
Deeps: Looks like there are two episodes tonight - the one from last week and the latest episode.
Me: Just tape the newest.
Deeps: I can do both.
Me: I'm familiar with the premise and I feel pretty confident I can pick it up in the second episode.
Deeps: You don't think you'll be confused by the mythology?
Me: If I am, I'll consult the Wikipedia.
Labels: 2007, television, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, June 26, 2007 at Tuesday, June 26, 2007 | |
Wait - that's different.
Eight things you don't know about me - tagged again. Right.
That's tough. I've been blogging for more than five years. I suspect there is very little you don't know about me if you've been a semi-regular reader.
8. I like Grade B maple syrup. It's an acquired taste I guess. I acquired it in New England.
7. Whenever I watch
America's Funniest Home Videos I laugh a lot.
6. I think that
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls is a totally underrated classic.
5. Whenever Deeps travels for business I get misty over any little note he leaves.
4. Sometimes I get bored and fast forward through boring parts of movies or TV shows. But I don't do it for stuff I talk about in the podcast.
3. On Saturdays after a morning of hard work I like to take naps in the living room while "watching" some BBC mystery.
2. I regularly listen to about 20 podcasts.
1. Deeps and I don't tell each other who we vote for in elections.
I'll tag:
Scott,
Allison Rose,
Jacki, and
Rachel.
Go crazy!
Labels: 2007, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Thursday, June 21, 2007 at Thursday, June 21, 2007 | |
Last week Deeps and I were walking through town running a few simple errands. I picked up some cash, got some 1 inch wood screws and some sunscreen. As we approached the local frogurt place I noticed a teenage girl sitting on a bench eating some pizza.
On her lap was a rather large snake - a python I believe.
I kept it together and hustled ahead to the frogurt stand before mentioning the snake to Deeps. He was apparently caught up in his own thoughts and hadn't noticed it.
Me: I'm pretty pleased I didn't lose my mind or anything.
Deeps: It's not going to do anything.
Me: I know - but that's the thing with the irrational fear. It cannot be reasoned with.
Deeps: So what does the irrational fear think will happen?
Me: It'll jump up and rip off my face.
Deeps: I don't even think that happened on Snakes on a Plane.
So there you have it. Mister Science invokes Snakes on a Plane for his snake expertise.
Labels: 2007, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, June 19, 2007 at Tuesday, June 19, 2007 | |
On Saturday a few of us got together to help our friends paint their nursery. Well, it wasn't a nursery when we started - but it is now.
To thank us for our work, Peaches took us to lunch at a local eatery. We were quickly seated (despite kind of stinking and being covered in varying degrees of paint) and met our waitresses. We had the regular and the waitress in training.
The regular waitress was very quick and efficient, her trainee was quiet and watched attentively. Drink orders were placed, food was ordered and the two disappeared into the kitchen.
Moments later the trainee appeared with a tray of drinks. She handed me the wrong drink, we just kind of passed it around the table until it was right. Then she dumped her tray onto our table - narrowly avoiding Peaches and Sparky.
She was horrified. Luckily, none of us actually got wet. Apologies were made, replacements arrived, the chef came out and Peaches was referred to as Mr. Peaches for the rest of the night. But alas, the trainee disappeared from sight for the remainder of the meal.
Everyone at the table was pretty mellow about it. Frankly - we were probably a little too gross to have been there anyway. Peaches has paint in his hair, I had pigtails plastered to my head and Electra's clothing was essentially held together by layers of paint. Sparky was surprisingly clean.
We hope we didn't make her cry. She'll probably always remember us. I can only hope that her memories come with smell-o-vision.
Labels: 2007, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Monday, June 11, 2007 at Monday, June 11, 2007 | |
Deeps was out of town this week for a business trip. He was due to take a very late night flight back to Boston and he left me a series of messages with updates.
7:30
Hi, it's me. I'm at the airport really early. But what do I care? Ooh, I think Fisher Stevens is getting his shoes shined.
7:45
Looks like there are a lot of delays. I'll let you know if I'm delayed. I don't see Fisher Stevens anymore.
8:00
My flight is overbooked and I'm in a middle seat. And I lost my magazine.
I was at the grocery store when all this went down, so I called him back when I got home. We agreed flying is awful (which is putting a crimp in my plans to do a big trip to Europe later this year). And that being in the middle seat was extra awful on a long flight.
Me: Maybe you can sit by a baby and a chatty salesman.
Deeps: I can only hope.
Me: Or a baby and Fisher Stevens.
Deeps: I think he's going to Chicago.
Me: It's probably better to fly with Fisher Stevens than Cat Stevens.
Deeps: Or
Ted Kennedy.
Me: Just stay off the no fly list.
Labels: 2007, marriage, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Friday, June 08, 2007 at Friday, June 08, 2007 | |
I’m not a
fashion expert, but I know what I like and I know when I see something a little unusual.
Last night on the ride home from work on the Red Line I stood between two men dressed in a very interesting manner. I’d be tempted to call it a fashion continuum.
On my right stood a man in a pin-stripe suit, flashy shirt and very flashy tie. The pin-stripes on his suit made him look a bit like a refugee from a Jimmy Cagney movie. Or possibly a stand-in for Silvio on The Sopranos.
The stripes were overly wide, the shirt was too much with the suit and the giant jewelry he wore was blinding. I wondered if he was being ironic or trendy or something else.
To my left stood a man who looked a bit like he might have recently escaped from the
U.S. Open circa 1981. He had shaggy hair and a headband tied Rambo-style around his head. Bangs and hair flopped underneath. He wore very short shorts – think NBA in the early 80s short. He wore an old t-shirt, mirrored aviator sunglasses and athletic socks. To complete his ensemble he wore brown deck shoes.
Both men exited around Davis Square and I wondered where they might be headed at 7 PM. It’s a bit early for a costume ball. I'm not sure where you could work in those shorts.
Maybe they lost a bet.
Labels: 2007, Boston, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Thursday, June 07, 2007 at Thursday, June 07, 2007 | |
The thing about living in New England, which is probably true about living in other places, is that if you’re not a native – you’ll probably never be a native.
I wasn’t born here. Some stuff I’ll never pull off convincingly. I
can’t sprinkle “wicked” into my speech with any kind of straight face. I tend to pronounce my Rs. I’ve accepted that for some people I’ll always be Alysser instead of Alyssa.
But yesterday, I was promoted at my local coffee establishment. I stop in at a place a few times a week for a nice cup of joe. Medium, dark roast please. It’s not fancy; it’s just good and cheap. My favorite combination!
I walked into the place, winding past dogs and baby strollers. The woman behind the counter saw me coming and says, “Medium, dark roast?”
I nodded. She handed me the cup and I hand her $1.73.
“You’re a regular now,” she said as she moved on to the next customer.
Ah – just what I needed. There are perks to being a redhead. It’s not all drunk guys and homeless dudes yelling at you, sometimes the people at your favorite coffee place remember you.
Labels: 2007, Boston, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, May 30, 2007 at Wednesday, May 30, 2007 | |
Does it help if I promise that this is the last time I throw Wii into the title of a blog post to make a bad pun?
I promise!
So we had a long weekend - like many in the U.S. - and we played a tremendous amount of virtual tennis. Friday was extremely hot. We got a call around 8 to meet some friends for ice cream. After enjoying in the cool sensations of frozen confections, our friends casually raised the topic of the Wii.
Perhaps they could come over to play?
Of course!
Saturday we invited more friends over to play video games and eat pizza. Very quickly we reverted to our 14-year-old selves. We had a great time.
Then Sunday
we podcasted, as usual, and afterwards Derek and Deeps played video games while I edited. I won't go so far as to say Derek was here for a long time - but he showed up for brunch around noonish and we kicked him out around 9 PM. After a late dinner of course.
Yesterday was free of Wii. We went to a cookout and ate too much. Our arms needed a break - I don't want to develop Wii Tennis elbow.
Labels: 2007, marriage, podcast, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Tuesday, May 29, 2007 at Tuesday, May 29, 2007 | |
The weather people are all excited because it's going to be wicked hot today. I should note that last Friday it poured and we had a high of about 45. I believe I briefly turned the heat on to boost the interior house temperature to 63 degrees.
Today - just a week later - we're supposed to climb into the mid 90s. And me without my air conditioners installed.
Gah.
The humidity is already adversely affecting my brain - and my hair. I got a little sunburn yesterday too. I'm not ready yet! So remember people - summer is here and you need to stay sun screened and hydrated.
And keep yourself from being bored -
Listen to this week's episode.Subscribe to the podcast with
iTunes or your favorite
podcatcher.
I'm going to wait another week before I put away my winter coat. I've been down this road before, New England.
Labels: 2007, weather, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Friday, May 25, 2007 at Friday, May 25, 2007 | |
Our five year wedding anniversary is coming up. We've been together a long time - it's a milestone event. And how do we mark this occasion? Well a couple of years ago we went to Italy and bought a house. Last year we ordered pizza.
This year we'll be playing Tennis - Wii Tennis.
When the Wii came out last year I joked that there'd be no problem getting one for our anniversary. I was wrong.
About a month ago while on a trip to Jersey we checked at stores in MA, CT, NY and NJ without luck. I tried online. I listened to
the Wicked Good Podcast for tips - I even got some inside scoop from
WGP's Steve about when shipments might arrive. But I had no luck.
I'd given up. And frankly, I wasn't totally sure that we were ready for our first video game system. Every time one is introduced, we'd ask our friend who reviews games for a living. He'd tell us about the wonders of the latest system. We'd listen eagerly and then interest would fade out. Mostly, we just played with his stuff.
While we were in Indianapolis, I accidentally found a Wii and snatched it up immediately. It was not too hard to get on the plane, I just told security and they X-rayed it a couple of times.
So how's the Wii for nearly middle aged folks like us? Fantastic. Deeps
has knocked over a glass and crashed into a wall playing tennis. We haven't smacked each other yet, which I've heard is a problem. Deeps likes Tennis, I prefer Boxing.
Last night we played each other for the first time. He proclaimed that he has "an awesome forehand." He was so proud. I snickered a little.
He hasn't quite figured out that I'm stealthily inserting exercise into his media consumption. Wait until DDR for the Wii comes out. He'll be unstoppable.
And I'll probably need a new coffee table.
Labels: 2007, marriage, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Thursday, May 24, 2007 at Thursday, May 24, 2007 | |
We flew to Indianapolis this weekend for my Dad's big retirement party. It was a very short trip - less than 48 hours, but it was filled with good times.
Nobody threw up on me, which was good. And only one kid fell into the ornamental fish pond. It was the first time all eight kids were together in a while. I believe my husband was on swing set duty for a while, then switched to hiding in the guest room.
The party itself was well-attended. Lots of family and friends made the trip to salute my father for his years of service. Including a gentle roasting of my dad made up of incidents from his permanent record. Who knew the old man was such a rebel?
Most important to the day - the cake. It was great. The country club people started cutting it pretty early. I think they made a good decision. With four-six toddlers running around, it was only a matter of time before disaster struck.
I noticed that my nephews were particularly entranced with "Grandpa's Cake". They spent a lot of time staring at it longingly and talking about it.
A few minutes later I picked up a piece of cake - it was oddly misshapen. It looked a lot like a little hand.
Labels: 2007, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, May 23, 2007 at Wednesday, May 23, 2007 | |
Right - so we're back after a whirlwind trip to Indiana. We were gone about 50 hours, 14 of which were spent in airports or on planes.
I'm a little beat.
But we did have an odd experience on the way home. We
took a taxi and the back seat was so low that I couldn't see over driver partition. And the guy couldn't hear me - what? What? You want what? So Deeps and I were alternating in yelling instructions over the barrier.
Apparently we offended the guy, so he was vaguely menacing to us when he dropped us at home. I guess he didn't like our tone. I'm not sure what tone we struck - we couldn't see and he couldn't hear us. And when we got in the cab we told him where we were headed and got the "in Massachusetts?" question.
I've gotten in taxis all over the country and most of the time people don't really know where they are headed and you have to spend a lot of time giving directions. So when I get the "in Massachusetts?" question I start running through the directions in my head. Of course, it's harder when I can't see where I am.
Anyway, the guy wouldn't speak to me (guess it's because I've got lady parts) and then was all "Do you speak to people like this at work?" to Deeps. What? Deeps is incredibly polite. In fact, sometimes he bows when he meets people. Weird.
So if someone eggs our house or leaves an old fish on the steps, I have a suspect.
Labels: 2007, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Sunday, May 20, 2007 at Sunday, May 20, 2007 | |
Man - we've set the bar pretty low, huh? Normally I wouldn't blog about something like this because it's pretty lame. But I can hardly stop myself.
Paris Hilton's jail sentence is cut in half because she's demonstrated good behavior. Such as
showing up for a court appearance.
Seriously?
I'm hoping to win the Nobel Prize for paying my taxes. Maybe I can get the Congressional Medal Of Honor for not parking my car in a handicap spot.
I must now go back to grumbling about other dumb stuff - like LOST and the salon hatch.
Labels: 2007, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Thursday, May 17, 2007 at Thursday, May 17, 2007 | |
I've been keeping watch over the back veggie patch and chasing off squirrels whenever possible.
I have this vague recollection about squirrels and feeding grounds and something I saw on Animal Planet. I think if you disrupt the squirrels at a feeding spot several times they aren't inclined to return. I could be wrong.
Sometimes I think I read or saw something, but I just dreamed it - like the other night when I was yelling. Turns out Deeps was coming to bed around the same time as I was dreaming about yelling at Gene Simmons. Yes, that
Gene Simmons.
Why? Who knows. But I guess I was actually yelling at Simmons to, "Get out of here," and then saying "What?" over and over again. Apparently it was very confusing to my husband.
I'll be honest, it's confusing to me.
But back to the squirrels - I'm watching them closely, the hose is hooked up and my trigger finger is ready.
Labels: 2007, animals, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Friday, May 11, 2007 at Friday, May 11, 2007 | |
Yesterday I went to the dentist. I was a little nervous because the last time I was at the dentist I had to get some very expensive and somewhat painful work done. Guess who has her own gold pirate tooth?
After my cleaning, the hygienist told me that I was due for my x-rays. Off I went to another room to meet the x-ray dude, the monologist - I'll call him Job.
Job covered me with the x-ray bib and then started chit-chatting with me. About my hair.
Job: I really dig your orange hair.
Me: Thanks.
I guess that technically my hair is orange - I prefer to think of it as copper and auburn. But whatever.
Job keeps rambling on about redheads, whom he insists on calling orange heads. To me redheads mean Rita Hayworth and Lucille Ball. Orange heads are like... I dunno - Bozo the clown?
He shares his deep admiration for
Reba McEntire's hair. He like short, funky, orange hair. He doesn't like Debra Messing.
At this point, I'm really started to think this guy is hot for clowns. Thankfully my dentist arrived. He kicked me out with a new toothbrush and a blog entry.
Labels: 2007, hair, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Wednesday, May 09, 2007 at Wednesday, May 09, 2007 | |
Sometimes we go on walks after dinner. It's pretty easy to lure Deeps out of the house with the promise of ice cream.
A few nights ago we walked around the center and popped into our local frogurtorium. In line in front of us was a lady with her toddler age daughter. The girl was at the beginning of a melt-down (get it!) over ice cream. She was kind of writhing around and ended up pulling her dress over her head.
We've all been there. I can't begin to tell you what I'm like when I don't get my frogurts. Deeps and I stifled giggles.
A moment later a lady with a cat carrier rolled in. The cat was not happy - and let us all know about it by several sad wails.
We got our ice cream (and frogurt!) and high-tailed it out of the store. We rounded the corner to head home when we nearly ran into a tall women dressed in a black mini dress and white Go-Go boots.
As we walked away we tried to figure out where the Go-Go boots lady was headed. We didn't assume she was meeting up with the cat lady or tantrum girl. I suggested the local school might be doing a non-traditional fund raiser (scandalous!) but Deeps pointed to the theater where a few bands were playing.
We approached our house and started to cross the street when a woman came racing down and did a big U-turn - Starsky and Hutch style - around us. We jumped back on the sidewalk and she ignored us as she went back up the street and whipped into a parking spot.
Deeps and I shook our heads, muttering. Deeps asked if the lady might be
Giant Dog lady. I started to reply when the barking started. The giant dog, fond of lunging at me in the most menacing manner, came bounding out of the car. I pushed Deeps up against a tree and we kind of hid.
"If anything goes wrong, throw your ice cream at the dog and run for your life!" I instructed.
The dog eventually wandered into his house while his owner bellowed to someone out of sight. With the dog safely secured we continued on our way.
I think the journey to Mordor took less time.
We encountered a few more dogs - German Short hair Pointers - and they seemed ambivalent to us. A cat jumped out and startled me. Some squirrels scampered by. The evil bluebird called out.
I'm starting to appreciate Deeps' perspective. He doesn't much care for dogs and nature doesn't do much for him either. After our little stroll, I can see why.
Labels: 2007, marriage, weird stuff
By: Alyssa | Friday, May 04, 2007 at Friday, May 04, 2007 | |
